happy birthday to me

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by cole624, Jun 23, 2014.

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  1. cole624

    cole624 Member

    this is almost hilarious. tomorrow i turn 20. never thought i would make it. also a little eerie, today somebody jokingly asked me at work "hey cole, do you hate yourself yet?" this was in good fun of course, i keep this side of me locked down tight, with a smile i replied "bro, ive hated myself since i was 14" he laughed, "maybe you should just kill yourself" "trust me, ive thought about it"
    it's amazing how much truth you can tell people if you lie enough....
    i should be happy. i'm turning 20, make a good deal of money, got me a car. but i cant. be. happy.
    i can smile of course, but i'm sure most of you guys know how easy it is to put on a smile when you have to. ive been doing this shit since i was 10.
    half a life time ago lol
    the worst part is, is that She still hasnt talked to me, and She wont, over 2 years have come and gone. no happy birthday from Her.
    of course that may be for the best, im a grown ass man, and i gotta get over Her, 2 years is too damn long to be stuck on somebody who is done with you let alone hasnt even talked to you in 2 years.
    yeah... i got some fuckin problems and i dont know what to do about em.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Happy Birthday and have a nice day.

    Welcome to the forum... :)
  3. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    Happy birthday!

    I smile through everything too . I don't like to let my inner feelings out..
    Take it one day at a time :)

    Try and Enjoy your day
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    happy birthday! I think we all sort of fake a smile and pretend all is okay but if only they could see below the surface, they would see chaos...at least for me anyways...

    sometimes I dream of people I haven't seen in years but I find myself wishing I could talk to them, especially those I feel I have wronged. That I could explain and apologize. It doesn't make up for what I did but still...and even maybe they haven't thought about it the same way I do. Maybe they've completely forgotten and I'm the only one torturing myself with it...

    hum...sorry got lost in my own thoughts. Still happy birthday :)
  5. Viktor

    Viktor Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday from me too :)
  6. NWAD

    NWAD Member

    Happy birthday. Make it a good one.
  7. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry your birthday started so poorly - hopefully things will look up as the day/week/year progresses. Come by here some and talk to us- no need to lie about how you are feeling here and sometimes that in its self can bring some comfort. You deserve a happy birthday and I hope you have a chance for a smile you do not have to fake at least once today :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2014
  8. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :happybirthday: Cole

    Eat lots of :birthdaycake: & hope you have some nice :birthdaysurprise: from your girlfriend


    And don't forget to get :very_drunk:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2014
  9. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Happy birthday Cole - not knowing what to do with our problems is actually a great opportunity :) There's no guarantee for anyone that we're promised a life free from problems and issues, the wisest and best thing is to accept this and find the best way to get what we need to navigate our way through. PM me if you like, have to go now.......
  10. Danialla

    Danialla Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday!
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