I hate work, because the stress there tears me apart and most people tend to hate me or try to get me in trouble with the bosses so it's a constant fight that leaves my self confidence lacking severely. But I've noticed that when I'm home on my days off- even if I do a lot of stuff I'm always so freaking depressed. Even if I go out. It's when I realize that I have NO friends here. All I do is stuff alone. I go shopping alone, watch tv alone, eat alone. I realize that since I don't hafta fake the happiness- like at work- so I just don't. Days like these my thoughts go more with ending it all. I just sit and cry for hours on my days off. I can't stand it but at the same time I don't wanna go to work everyday. I just want to pull my hair out. I can't stand this anymore. The sadness, lonliness, unable to tell my family about it, I can't stand this I really can't. All I can do is sit and cry and try to find stuff to do. Then I feel guilty the next day when I hafta go to work that I sat around doing nothing except crying. Days like these I wanna run away from here. One day I actually packed up a bag and went to grab my cats to leave; the only thing that kept me here was I couldn't find one of my two cats and I refuse to leave them. I just want to run- no idea where- but in my mind there's someplace out there where I can be happy but I just don't know where. I'm scared that one day cats won't be the reason to stop me from running or dying. All because I had a day off work and was stuck alone in life.