Well i slept last night and the nightmares returned. I need to never sleep again. I cant do this why cant i just be happy? Sometimes I just want to tell everyone what has happened to me but its so crazy i doubt anyone would believe me. I haven't had a drink in a week which is supposed to be good but thats how i sleep so i don't dream. Let me rephrase thats how i gain unconsciousness. The worst thing is I have something so wonderful in my life that I can't look past the bad and see it. I'm close to doing something but I promised my angel I wouldn't. I feel hated by the world.