I finally have a house in the country, on an acre of land. Yeah I'm renting it, but I'm hoping to work out a rent to own deal with the land lord. Theres a good spot for a veggie garden and a shed that can easily be converted into a turkey house. I have a loving partner who does so much for me and is super supportive, and a adorable dog. I just got a new job (I'm a cook that got laid off because of COVID) that has good pay and my coworkers are decent. Yet despite it all, I still just want to die. I feel alone and miserable no matter what I do, and even doing things like reading or playing video games leaves me feeling agitated instead of relaxed. I've felt like this for years, and I though it was situational, but now that I have everything I could ask for, I feel as horrible as I did back in high school (so since about 2011). I don't know what's wrong, but if I can't even be happy when my dreams come true, then what's the point of anything?