• IMPORTANT: Covid-19 can only be discussed on this site in terms of SUPPORT. There is a covid-19 support forum and a covid-19 support chat for people needing support around this topic. There is a thread in Forum News and Announcements explaining this further. Please read it.

He is a dickhead

Status
Not open for further replies.
#1
I have mixed feelings for my partner. I guess we have always been this way, but lately ive been feeling more miserable than ever before with him. He wants a threesome and is attracted to other women. I cant get this as I thought he was a gentle person, but hes telling me this straight away. He also tells me (*im sorry*) that my pussy is loose compared to many other women he met before me. He tells me that my friends are sexy. And ive been strong enough to suggest a threesome with one of my friends. But now were discussing things at another level - were talking with his friends now that "its better if you do it together, then if he goes and does it with 2 other girls"
I feel fucking miserable and desperate for love yet again. Every time hes hanging up on Skype my heart starts racing as if it s the last time we talk. Im scared I will be abandoned and I feel like I should start looking for a new partner!!
But hey, is the problem really in him. Im behaving like im attracted to Skype, were long distance but thats totally enough for me knowing were moving towards getting together. He on the other hand is staying supersocial and its hard to differentiate whether its because hes longing for me or for some other womens meat hahhaha !
Im thinking too much I should show him that I can live a life too

Thats just so painful and i get these strange feelings in my chest. If i were to describe them i would use words "nasty" "black mass" "feels like shit" "alien" "abnormal" "mental" . I can physically feel shit put down my throat. I didnt even think id come up with a description like that!! I can see now that i feel very _humiliated_. I really want a change of lifestyle.
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#2
Hi there, Torimi
It sounds like your BF is a jerk. I'm not gonna throw out my personal feelings about threesomes and shit but those interactions are to be formed in the center of a solid relationship you've already established and are solid in. It seems like you guys aren't settled enough in your own relationship to be doing that. Whether that's the case later if you stay together is something you could talk about then but for now? I guarantee you, a threesome is going to drive you apart. I'm positive. Nothing in your post says you are ready or wanting that and it's a certain death when this is the case. It ultimately means you can break up *before* you let him live out his dream night or *after* but I can pretty much tell you it's happening. Sorry. He's a butthole.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Cant tell you what to do but jeez he has no class and IMO hes purposefully mentally wearing you down with those mean comments. Can you start being more confident in yourself? If a guy wants to swing its his thing but if you don't want to do it then don't do it because he wants to do it. Its your life and I'm saying there are true gentlemens out there that does not want or need to share you.

Take Care
 

pbobble

Well-Known Member
#4
Yeah you're right he sounds like a right dickhead. Sometimes if our self esteem is a bit low we are vulnerable to to people who treat us bad.It happened to my sister for a couple of years.

It's not cool having a partner who goes out of their way to make you feel like shit. If you can't at least try to care for one another what's the point.
 

Brian777

Safety and Support
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#5
Hi Torimi, in my view a relationship is supposed to include mutual respect. This one seems ones sided and not in your favor, his comments to you are hurtful and unkind.
 
#6
Hello everyone. Thank you for your responses! I dont think I would be doing as well without this forum and I find this place somehow very soothing.
I wish you all a Happy New Year and will confront my partner the next time somehing like these comments comes up. I think I just couldn't believe my ears he was actually saying it all out loud. Thanks again.
 

Tasha Nicole

Well-Known Member
#7
I have mixed feelings for my partner. I guess we have always been this way, but lately ive been feeling more miserable than ever before with him. He wants a threesome and is attracted to other women. I cant get this as I thought he was a gentle person, but hes telling me this straight away. He also tells me (*im sorry*) that my pussy is loose compared to many other women he met before me. He tells me that my friends are sexy. And ive been strong enough to suggest a threesome with one of my friends. But now were discussing things at another level - were talking with his friends now that "its better if you do it together, then if he goes and does it with 2 other girls"
I feel fucking miserable and desperate for love yet again. Every time hes hanging up on Skype my heart starts racing as if it s the last time we talk. Im scared I will be abandoned and I feel like I should start looking for a new partner!!
But hey, is the problem really in him. Im behaving like im attracted to Skype, were long distance but thats totally enough for me knowing were moving towards getting together. He on the other hand is staying supersocial and its hard to differentiate whether its because hes longing for me or for some other womens meat hahhaha !
Im thinking too much I should show him that I can live a life too

Thats just so painful and i get these strange feelings in my chest. If i were to describe them i would use words "nasty" "black mass" "feels like shit" "alien" "abnormal" "mental" . I can physically feel shit put down my throat. I didnt even think id come up with a description like that!! I can see now that i feel very _humiliated_. I really want a change of lifestyle.
He sounds like a jerk
 

dtc

at least that's what I keep telling myself!
#8
No one of any worth would talk about one woman in comparison to another like he did to you. Completely unacceptable in my opinion and I be inclined to suggest it's he that's too small rather than the other way round!

In response to your posts heading, yes he is, and based on how you've handled it so far, I'm sure you will find someone much more deserving of your love, you don't need to settle for the clown.

Take care
 

Freya

Loves SF
Staff member
Forum Owner
ADMIN
SF Author
#9
You are quite right - he is a dickhead. Please don't have a threesome with one of your friends - a threesome at all is perhaps not a good idea, but don't ruin a friendship over it to please him. The ONLY situation you should be engaging in a threesome at all is if you actually want to and feel good about it - not because you are afraid he will cheat otherwise.

He is rude and mean - and honestly I would be looking to remove that kind of negativity and misery from your life - find someone who is not a dickhead *hugs*
 

Acanthi

Well-Known Member
#10
Hey Torimi, it sounds to me like he's a real jerk. I was in a relationship where he was talking about me having sex with other people for his amusement and when I complied, he started pressuring me more and more until I dreaded intimacy with him and any mention of intimacy would send me into a defensive depressed frenzy. We were long distance too. I still have trouble with intimacy right now, because I can't shake off his influence. What I'm trying to say is, if you're not comfortable with it, don't get pressured into it. YOU are the master of your body, not him. In my opinion, someone who compares you like that to other women is extremely disrespectful and not worth your time. I'm sorry if anything I said was out of line. I'm here if you need to talk. Take care :)
 
#11
Yes,please honor yourself and don't let him drag you into this. I was in the same situation and I am ashamed to say that I gave in thinking it was a one-time thing..it was a horrible nightmare for me and caused great trauma. Also, it was never enough for him and he escalated into prostitutes and random encounters with strangers. I feel like I was abused. I haven't told my story yet because I am sunk so low into shame. I wish I would have been strong enough to stop it at the beginning. 6 years out I realize I was 'groomed' for this as he was molested as a child and learned those behaviors from his abuser and his seriously dysfunctional family of origin. I see his new girlfriend so happy to be with him as he portrays as the 'perfect man' and I just want to cry for her.
I am still suffering the effects and am too ashamed to get therapy for it. Please get therapy first, don't allow him to drag you into this.
It's different if both partners are open and willing to engage in this type of behavior but it doesn't sound like you are at all.
 

QuantumLeap

Firing with all synapses!!
Staff Alumni
SF Author
SF Multi Media
SF Supporter
#12
Heya @Torimi, I'm really sorry that your affections are being mutilated at the moment :( that is a really painful thing to endure :(
I'm sure things will have moved on a little since you first posted on the 31st... but I do think that you need to look for strength in yourself to stand up to him... and be comfortable saying 'no' to him.
If he doesn't like your answer and throws a tantrum, then it's likely to be an indication of how he's going to treat you moving forward...
Could you please read this? https://www.suicideforum.com/2017/01/05/so-lonely-it-hurts/
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$50.00
Goal
$255.00
Top