He is the love of my life, my soul mate, my everything. He is also dead...
My ex fiance <mod edit - methods> himself on our 2 year anniversary this past May... We had many problems from his drinking, to his abuse, to his cheating... And I left.. I couldn't take it anymore. He had begged me to go over that night.. Pleaded that I reconsider my decision to split up and move on.. But I didn't want to be hurt anymore.. I had just had a miscarriage shortly after he kicked me out... And I lost our baby.
I was under suicide watch for 72 hours when I found out.. I tried taking my own life once again.. My mother found me. She rushed me to the emergency room. She was in a state of panic, thinking her oldest daughter would't make it.
And she was right..
I'm not a walking corpse with a beating heart. I go through the motions day after day. Half the time I can't even get out of bed. I see a therapist 3 times a week and I can't begin to found how many medications I'm on...
He took me to the grave with him that night. And I doubt I'll ever love someone like I do him.. Or if someone would ever love me in this state.. He's my everything and I never even got to say goodbye..
I guess what I'm saying is, say what you need to say when you have the chance... You never know when the next day will be too late...
I love you... 11/10/90-3/25/14
My ex fiance <mod edit - methods> himself on our 2 year anniversary this past May... We had many problems from his drinking, to his abuse, to his cheating... And I left.. I couldn't take it anymore. He had begged me to go over that night.. Pleaded that I reconsider my decision to split up and move on.. But I didn't want to be hurt anymore.. I had just had a miscarriage shortly after he kicked me out... And I lost our baby.
I was under suicide watch for 72 hours when I found out.. I tried taking my own life once again.. My mother found me. She rushed me to the emergency room. She was in a state of panic, thinking her oldest daughter would't make it.
And she was right..
I'm not a walking corpse with a beating heart. I go through the motions day after day. Half the time I can't even get out of bed. I see a therapist 3 times a week and I can't begin to found how many medications I'm on...
He took me to the grave with him that night. And I doubt I'll ever love someone like I do him.. Or if someone would ever love me in this state.. He's my everything and I never even got to say goodbye..
I guess what I'm saying is, say what you need to say when you have the chance... You never know when the next day will be too late...
I love you... 11/10/90-3/25/14
