He Took Me To The Grave With Him...

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by BornToBeBroken</3, Oct 5, 2014.

  1. BornToBeBroken</3

    BornToBeBroken</3 New Member

    He is the love of my life, my soul mate, my everything. He is also dead...

    My ex fiance <mod edit - methods> himself on our 2 year anniversary this past May... We had many problems from his drinking, to his abuse, to his cheating... And I left.. I couldn't take it anymore. He had begged me to go over that night.. Pleaded that I reconsider my decision to split up and move on.. But I didn't want to be hurt anymore.. I had just had a miscarriage shortly after he kicked me out... And I lost our baby.

    I was under suicide watch for 72 hours when I found out.. I tried taking my own life once again.. My mother found me. She rushed me to the emergency room. She was in a state of panic, thinking her oldest daughter would't make it.

    And she was right..

    I'm not a walking corpse with a beating heart. I go through the motions day after day. Half the time I can't even get out of bed. I see a therapist 3 times a week and I can't begin to found how many medications I'm on...

    He took me to the grave with him that night. And I doubt I'll ever love someone like I do him.. Or if someone would ever love me in this state.. He's my everything and I never even got to say goodbye..

    I guess what I'm saying is, say what you need to say when you have the chance... You never know when the next day will be too late...

    I love you... 11/10/90-3/25/14
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes when people leave we care about they do take us with them i understand that i do. You are doing the right thing seeing a therapist i too see one to help me just get through the days some times In time you will learn to live again for YOU you will He would want you to be happy hugs