head pounding...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by iceeblusmurf, Oct 19, 2008.

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  1. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    so my head is fucking pounding....i can't weawr my glasses cuz they make it worse so i can hardly see my computer screen right now.

    but i'm so freakin down lately......like....i just feel like everything is pointless, like my life is going nowhere and i can't fix it. everyone i talk to just wants to sit and "comfort" me with all there "well it will get better" and their solutions and shit....and its just not needed, sometimes i need you people to just shut up and let me talk. you make me feel like an idiot. i'm just so mad all the time right now cuz i'm so down and my head always hurts and i can't sleep much.......i don't know what to do. its just getting worse and worse. i'm in a deadend job that i hate and don't get treated well at all when i work my ass off. my manager pretends to listen to me but does NOTHING about anything i bring to her. but says i'm one of her favorites and she dosn't want to lose me. its just bull shit.

    and another thing, why is it so hard for me to have REAL friends that really care aout me. like the ones that do care to talk to you all the time, and would do anything for you? i mean come on, i see everyone with those kinds of friends why don't i have those? no one really gives a shit about me. and i'm gonna get all these posts of people saying they really care about me....but in all honesty i don't think anyone on here REALLY does....they all have their own friends and circles and i'm not included in any of that....thats how my entire life has been, on the outside of everyones circles. no one ever REALLY tries to get to know me, cuz it does take a little while for me to really start to show the real me, but thats cuz i've been hurt, but no one takes the time or really cares to listen, but oh well right. why does it matter cuz my life is all pointless anyways.
     
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    sorry you are feeling like shit Smurf, i can relate to how you feel.

    anytime you just want to chat then pm me

    :hug:
     
  3. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    no i just love how i'm invisible where ever i go. EVEN HERE! the place to come for support and somehow i'm still invisible! i don't know what to do to not be so invisible! i'm always around, a support to whoever i can be.....but i'm still invisible.

    Oh well i guess i proved my point.
     
  4. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi Smurf, sorry to hear you're feeling so shit. I'm pretty new to this place but I reckon there are a lot of people here who do really care. That's certainly the impression I'm getting and I find great comfort in that. Love and hugs.S.
     
  5. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    no if anyone really cared or was paying any attention to me then they would realize that i mean it when i say i feel invisible. but since i'm invisible then it doesn't matter to anyone. any one else, or should i say any of the "popular" crowd on this site, if they had posted this, they would have 20 responses with in a matter of an hour. but i posted this almost 24hours ago and no one cares. but its fine. like i said proved my point and i don't care anymore.
     
  6. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    Hey Smurf sorry i havent read this earlyer.I havent been looking at posts lately.I just want to let you know i care about you.And im here for you anytime,day or night.

    Again im so sorry for not checking the posts more.
     
  7. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    don't be sorry Earn, it doesn't matter.
     
  8. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    It matters.You matter to me.I havent knowen you for a long time but I care about you. :hug:
     
  9. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    yeah and anyone can just say they care about someone and not really mean it. most people just want everyone to be happy and feel better.........
     
  10. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    of course it matters hun and your not that invisible that i can't see you.

    i meant what i said, if you want to talk then i am here and i always reply to pm's

    take care :hug:
     
  11. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    I mean it.your like one of the few people i actually talk to from here often.I care about you.I can't make you believe me because i don't know how and i don't live near enough to you.
     
  12. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    i'm sorry guys....its nothing personal.............


    i'm still invisible.
     
  13. Erratic

    Erratic Active Member

    Maybe you aren't as invisible as you think you are. Seems like there's a lot of people coming out to tell you so. :)
     
  14. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    thats ok Smurf

    i can relate to being invisible and how it adds to the mix of feelings.
    but you are cared for and when u are ready then you know how to reach me if you want to, its an open offer.

    take care :flowers::hug:
     
  15. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    no there aren't.

    two people isn't a lot on this forum. and Earn i might believe cares about me, that one i could see.....and andy.....no offense andy, but andy replies to most threads.......

    i know that seems like i'm being ungreatful.........but it just doesn't feel like enough!

    why in a group so big that i've been around and supported for a while now...am i STILL invisible to most and not accepted as really a part of the group, i'm so tired of it!
     
  16. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    i get that andy, but part of my point is that i don't want to have to reach out to people..you know!? what about people (not cuz of this thread) but to have to people who actually send a message every once in a while saying "hey how are you doing, i was thinking about you" YOU KNOW! those kinds of things that show people care. if i'm not the one to reach out (which i always have to be) then people go a LONG time with out reaching out to me!

    again i know it sounds selfish and ungreatful and i should really just shut up......but i mean....just makes a person feel better about themselves when they are already pretty depressed.
     
  17. Erratic

    Erratic Active Member

    No, it sounds like you're upset and really want someone there for you. Which is okay. A lot of people want that. -I- want that, desparately. I have an awful time of reaching out to people, and a very bad habit of shutting down when people do try to reach out to me or express to me.

    It may not seem like it, but you aren't invisible. I don't know if anyone can convince you otherwise, but maybe in time you'll see it, too.
     
  18. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    Im sorry I haven't gotten to know you better untill now.i'm more of a shy person.I dont reply to many peoples posts.some people on here might just be shy.but others might just be in there own little world.your not selfish everyone would like for some one to care for them and reach out to them.
     
  19. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    don't apologise for something when you believe you are right, and in this case i agree with you.
    yes you have been here for some time now and i remember how supportive you were when i was here some time ago and as you say, 2 replies is undeserving.
    i would have thought others would have joined in by now, unlike me you seemed popular so it is strange.

    this is like my 3rd day back here so still finding my way round and who's who again but yes, a pm should have been sent, that one i can apologise for.

    ( was actually thinking about it but for many reasons didnt know if it would be well recieved ).
    but i dont think i reply to so many threads that wanting to see if you are ok is any lessened.

    but saying that, you are correct in what you say and how it makes you feel and if i could or should have said or done something better then i am sorry for being a tad stupid.

    :hug:
     
  20. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    thank you andy, i wish everyone could realize these things.
     
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