Im having a bad morning. I can't seem to get my head round all that's gone on. Yet he still says he loves me misses me and wanted it all. He's messed uo and says he needs to be on his own. When iam not the prob. This is eating me up inside. I can't focus, I can't get out of bed, I can't eat sleep or do anything. I'm in a proper distressed state and he is now being horrible towards me like I've done something wrong. Yesterday I told him I've gone for good n I'll never contact him again. But it's absolutely killing me knowing we might never be together or get back what we have. I know he's had a lot on over at year. Bit I've been the only one who's supported him. N sat outside his appointment in the cars sometime for hours on end. I've gone thru it all with him over his kids. And now cos court didn't goto plan that day. He just up and leaves and says he needs to be on his own. Cutting me out. But then he still txt saying he loves and misses me. And he did want all that. My heads confused as much as his. No-one can understand why it's like this when we are so happy together. That man loves me but he's pushing me out cos he's hurting. And I can't do anything about it. I hate he's hurting on his own. And is effecting me so much. I missed my tablets for two days and today I just feel like I dnt wanna be here anymore. But I have my kids and they need me but I can not sort myself out.. I would understand if we hated eachother and we didn't get on. But cos of this makes me so confused. I feel totally lost. Like I'm in mourning like he's died or somethin. It's not a nice feeling. And not once has he asked me am I okay.. Stupid of me to think that while his heads a mess I know. But did I mean thta little to him to do this and be like this towards me. I feel so used right now. I let that man into my home around my kids. Because he wanted all this first and told me he would wait a lifetime till I was ready. I new I was falling in love with this man. And wanted it so much. Now he's saying he's feeling different. I've spoke to doctors and they've all said he's depressed witch he is. And the medication he is on. Makes him think he can't love. He doesn't love anymore and thqts being alone is the best things for them.. And this man takes his meds then doesn't then does. So yeah I see him in emotional states over not seeing his own kids. N I've helped in threw it. But is he really being like this with me over meds. Or has he genuinely lost all feelings for me. Because I get mixed signals. And when I ask him to collect all his belongings o get no answer or change of subject. And no answer to how has his feelings changed. He just says I dnt know.. I can't stand this feeling any longer. N now I've told him I've gone. And I won't be messaging him to see if he will come round. But I just dnt understand it all. And neither can anyone else.