Here we are again.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by gentlelady, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I feel like I constantly post here. I know the state I live in had one of the highest suicide rates in the nation but why do I have to have connections with so many of them. Today I attended two funerals in two different cities. The most difficult one was a student of mine. Brody was only 8 years old. He was well liked by everyone. He was outgoing, intelligent, excelled in wrestling (even won titles at the International level), and was just a well rounded individual at the tender age of 8. Why? He never appeared sad or depressed, never showed any signs of depression or suicide ideation, was not bullied, suffered trauma, nothing anyone knew about. Something must have gone on but for the life of me I don't know.

    The second funeral was that of an older gentleman. At least I can make sense of his choices even though it still is painful for those he left behind. He suffered from a recurring cancer and did not want to have to fight that battle again.

    Each time opens the wound and drives the pain deeper and deeper. So, knowing how it feels to be a SOLOS (survivor of a loved ones suicide), why do I still ruminate on suicide almost daily?
     
  2. broke

    broke Well-Known Member

    So incredibly tragic, and I am so sorry you must endure this. I am not sure what to say other than to communicate to you that you are not alone, you are heard, your tears shared. I do not know you beyond what you have done on SF. And that is A LOT. I was not a believer in Angels until I came to SF. Some of them touch us only fleetingly, others have the strength for the long haul, but all touch and affect us deeply. There is a reason people come into each others lives and I think that a SOLOS often is in a fleeting life to help each other heal as much as possible. I have children the age of Brody and without SF there is a greater chance they would not have a dad today. Thank you. You have a strength that many lack, and you help to heal. You lessen the burden. Being able to identify with the people you help allows you to help them more. My hope is that in knowing that, you are helped as well. God bless your life and in blessing your life, lessen your burden.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    oh hun i am so sorry for your losses who knows what push Brody to do what he did god who knows Maybe he was being bullied and no one saw or being abused by a coach who know hun dam so young I hope his family has all the supports they need because i don't know how one moves forward when they lose a child Hugs to you you keep safe hun you get supports ok for you now hugs
     
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm very sorry for your losses. :hug: I hope they are both at peace now.

    Of course poor young Brody leaves huge questions. Children are very good at making themselves the reason for things going wrong, and then feeling the burden of misplaced guilt for that. Who knows what could have triggered him. I am just so sorry that a bright young life, a good boy, felt completely overwhelmed.

    I am also sorry that the older gentleman had struggled so much already and that the recurring fight wore him out.

    It is completely understandable that you have many feelings right now. Even contradictory ones. I hope you can hold on to good things right now - the good things that these people brought to the world and their loved ones, as well as all the good things you bring to the world and your loved ones. And there are many of us here who love you. Stay strong and safe, gentlelady. Let me know if I can listen or help. :arms: