Hi I'm Danielle and I don't know how much more I can take.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by lostonmyown, Dec 1, 2014.

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  1. lostonmyown

    lostonmyown New Member

    Since 2009 I've been a complete head case. I'm now suffering incredibly and quit my job as a result and I've lost two of my friends in the past two months as a result of my actions and I just can't cope. I'm sick to death of feeling like this but I can't stop it. I can't stop my own mind from destroying itself and I don't know how to get out. I've had counselling before, after a car crash that left me with PTSD and severe anxiety. It helped. But I was still anxious all of the time and it really left a mark on me.

    Then last year my auntie and my cousin died within the same month and that completely tore my family apart. February this year I fell fatally ill, in which I went into septic shock as a result of a cyst on my ovary that was infected. I was put into a coma and my family were told that there was 50% chance I'd die. I lost my right ovary and currently am now losing the will to live. Before I fell ill, I went through a pregnancy termination, in which I later found out would never have survived due to what happened to me after. It killed me, because even though I had chose to go ahead with that termination, I didn't have a choice in the matter anyway.

    I've made a complete f*&#ing mess up of my life and I don't know how to get out. My best friend has fallen out with me, my only friendship group at home is now rocky due to me sleeping with my friends ex boyfriend and I really don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop acting like I do. I don't know how to not be like this. I try my hardest, I really do but it just doesn't stop. My brain doesn't stop me from doing stupid things, theres no action filter.

    I went back in to the GP in July to ask counselling and I'm still waiting. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm sick of being me.
     
  2. Deadly

    Deadly Well-Known Member

    Hi Danielle I am new here also the past few days. It sounds like your going through a horrible time. But I think you have made a good step in coming here. You will find people do care and will listen and help you!!
     
  3. denise_c

    denise_c Active Member

    Hi

    It 's good that you've asked for help and that help is on its way. If your counselling sessions don't work, you'll have to try something else but ultimately you will find the help you need.

    You've been through a lot. You can look back and realized you've come a long way and be proud of yourself.
    Your actions are what they are. What is made can't be undone. But, believe it or not, you probably did what you did because you had no other choice. You did what you COULD do. Be kind to yourself for that.

    Future is ahead of us all and we have to build it, little by little. You say you did stupid things. Start here. Why were they stupid? Were they really stupid? Didn't you have your reasons for doing so? Now what would you like to change? What is preventing you from doing so? What can you count on in yourself (and I'm sure there ARE things you can count on)? If you focus on positive questions about the solutions, not the problems, you will naturally move on towards happier self-management.

    Keep us posted.
     
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