Hi

[Ryawal]

My name is Ryan and I’m nearly 40…

I’ve fought mental illness since I was around 11 years old. That’s when some childhood trauma I had started to affect me.

I’m really lonely and have never been able to maintain relationships of any kind. I’ve been estranged from my family since I was 18.

I’ve tried so many things over the years, and not sure if this will be helpful or not. It’s so hard just writing this… hopefully it will get easier.

Anyways, “Hi”, I suppose.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Hi Ryan. Welcome to the forum. There are supportive people here, and there is a huge range of ages etc. I'm sorry to hear that you had childhood trauma, and that you've had trouble maintaining relationships. Do you have any family or friends you're in touch with (if you feel like sharing). Also, if you want to speak about what you've tried or want suggestions, feel free to share more.

i'm 53 and have been struggling with depression for 30+ years. Been on meds 15 years and tried a bunch of other things. Many things have helped a little but unfortunately life circumstances have been really difficult for me. The pandemic has made it all worse (my husband lost his job, etc).

 

[KM76710]

My name is Ryan and I’m nearly 40…

I’ve fought mental illness since I was around 11 years old. That’s when some childhood trauma I had started to affect me.

I’m really lonely and have never been able to maintain relationships of any kind. I’ve been estranged from my family since I was 18.

I’ve tried so many things over the years, and not sure if this will be helpful or not. It’s so hard just writing this… hopefully it will get easier.

Anyways, “Hi”, I suppose.

Glad to see you with us and welcome. Just post and share and join in all you feel comfortable with because you will encounter members who will be here and listen. I hope that it does get easier members here are understanding and you can take all the time you need.

 

[WildCherry]

Hey Ryan, welcome to SF! There will always be someone around if you feel like talking.

 

[Ryawal]

Hi Ryan. Welcome to the forum. There are supportive people here, and there is a huge range of ages etc. I'm sorry to hear that you had childhood trauma, and that you've had trouble maintaining relationships. Do you have any family or friends you're in touch with (if you feel like sharing). Also, if you want to speak about what you've tried or want suggestions, feel free to share more.

i'm 53 and have been struggling with depression for 30+ years. Been on meds 15 years and tried a bunch of other things. Many things have helped a little but unfortunately life circumstances have been really difficult for me. The pandemic has made it all worse (my husband lost his job, etc).

I haven’t seen anyone in my family in over 20 years… I didn’t exactly win the family lottery… I also don’t have any friends. The last friendship I had ended when I was 22. Whenever I die, no one will even notice.

Everyone has their own journey I suppose, and mine has been a lonely one. I’ve tried various hobbies trying to meet people, sports, meet ups, randomly talking to people, volunteering… but people have full lives and so I understand that they aren’t looking for friends, and especially friends that would be a burden like me. I’ve also spent most of my adult life in therapy. I’ve tried various medications, but they don’t help. I’ve tried journaling and mindfulness and yoga.

It feels like my whole life is meaningless. There is no joy. Just emptiness.

 

[WildCherry]

Sorry for commenting again. But I'm curious... why do you feel like you would be a burden to someone who was friends with you? I'm glad you came back here and are continuing to post.

 

[seabird]

Hi @Rwal

Welcome.

 

[Atreides]

Welcome to SF. We're here for you.

 

[Saint Rita]

Hey, @Ryawal

Welcome to SF family!

I hope we get to know you better.

 

[Ryawal]

Sorry for commenting again. But I'm curious... why do you feel like you would be a burden to someone who was friends with you? I'm glad you came back here and are continuing to post.

I am a burden to everyone, I see no reason why that wouldn’t continue to be the case. I have nothing positive to offer. I will refrain from listing all of the negatives. And factually I understand this… I know there’s no reason for anyone to want to be in my life, but it’s still hard to not want more

 

[WildCherry]

Sorry for commenting again. But I'm curious... why do you feel like you would be a burden to someone who was friends with you? I'm glad you came back here and are continuing to post.

I am a burden to everyone, I see no reason why that wouldn’t continue to be the case. I have nothing positive to offer. I will refrain from listing all of the negatives. And factually I understand this… I know there’s no reason for anyone to want to be in my life, but it’s still hard to not want more

I know how that feels, there was a time years ago when I had those feelings too. Honestly, you wouldn't be a burden. I hope you give people here the chance to get to know you and build friendships with you. If you ever feel like talking or need someone to listen, you can inbox me anytime.

 

[So so tired]

My name is Ryan and I’m nearly 40…

I’ve fought mental illness since I was around 11 years old. That’s when some childhood trauma I had started to affect me.

I’m really lonely and have never been able to maintain relationships of any kind. I’ve been estranged from my family since I was 18.

I’ve tried so many things over the years, and not sure if this will be helpful or not. It’s so hard just writing this… hopefully it will get easier.

Anyways, “Hi”, I suppose.

Hi @Ryawal

Wishing you a warm welcome to the forum.
I am sorry to hear of your struggles.
Sending a hug your way