Hi.

[TigerFestival]

I was looking for an introduce yourself thread, but couldn't find one so I'm making this. I'm a 34 year old black male, who lives with his parents, obese, a virgin, unemployed, unemployable, lonely and depressed. I joined here in hopes of meeting some nice people who won't act harshly towards me for not being happy and outgoing. Truth be told I don't want to die, nor do I have depression. If I could get my life together then I'd be alot happier, but alas, I just can't, finding work is a nightmare, all of my friends don't speak to me anymore, I never had a girlfriend, I was fired from my last job 6 years ago, I have two horrible older brothers that make my life a living hell, one is in prison, although I worry he'll be released one day and my other horrible brother comes to visit once or twice a year to stay for a week or two and puts GREAT pressure onto me to do better, and to make things bad, once my parents die, I'm out on the streets and lastly my younger sister died in a car accident 8 years ago and I've been very lonely without her and having to deal with all of these problems alone. So I honestly don't know what to do to be honest. Sigh thanks to everyone reading this, I just needed to vent a little bit. Truth be told, If I didn't have to work, lost weight, don't have to deal with my brothers again, can do youtube and move out of Florida to somewhere else, then I'd be happy, but sigh that's all way out of my reach, and what's worse is I'm too scared to kill myself too which makes things that much worse. So I honestly don't know what to do. Sigh. Again thanks for reading and sorry for rambling on.

 

[Waves]

Hi

Your problems sound situational and nor medical. Would you agree?

 

[Waves]

PS. You have much to offer. Maybe starry smal. Walk one a week for now

 

[KM76710]

@TigerFestival

Glad to see you here with us and welcome. Never worry about rambling because this is a place to be heard and listened to. Sad to hear how things are going for you, but I hope you keep posting because this is a fine forum and folks to get to know. No judgements or harshness here just a hope to offer support. I am pleased that you are not depressed or want to die and I hope that continue. Good place to meet friends here.

 

[TigerFestival]

Hi

Your problems sound situational and nor medical. Would you agree?

I agree that it's situational, problem is, my problems are excruciatingly difficult to fix. I've had these kinds of problems for years and never really figured out how to fix them. That's why it feels hopeless, truth be told, despite me saying I don't want to die, I sometimes hope someone kills me, or that my obesity will kill me soon or that I don't wake up when I sleep. I guess I don't really want to die, but I'm ok with dying since I don't see my life getting better, if anything I only see my life getting MUCH worse from here since some of the problems I named such as my sister dying and my friends no longer speaking to me, didn't exist years ago, but problems with my obesity and unemployment and my brothers have existed for a VERY long time. I know that more problems will pop up sooner or later and that's one thing I'm really worried about.

@TigerFestival

Glad to see you here with us and welcome. Never worry about rambling because this is a place to be heard and listened to. Sad to hear how things are going for you, but I hope you keep posting because this is a fine forum and folks to get to know. No judgements or harshness here just a hope to offer support. I am pleased that you are not depressed or want to die and I hope that continue. Good place to meet friends here.

Thanks for the warm welcome. Everytime I talk about my problems, I get gaslighted, or told to suck it up or to quit being a baby and do something about it. It's really aggravating dealing with that. So it's nice for a change to go somewhere without being gaslighted or being told to get over it. And yes I'll stick around. I may not be too active as I'm taking care of things irl such as job searching(with no luck) but yeah you'll see me around.

 

[Waves]

Oh my. Sounds like you were bullied. Do you feel like people are vultures. Only want fame and money?

 

[KM76710]

Take all the time you need. We will be here and you are correct about taking care about the day to day living tasks are what needs to be top priority. Just join in as you want and can and once you explore the forum there are many sections both for support or lighter ones where people share hobbies and such. Great way to find people to make connections on subjects and like minded interests.

 

[Waves]

Interests? What might they be?

 

[seabird]

Welcome @TigerFestival . You have serious challenges - I'm sorry things are so hard. Real life support seems like something, if possible, you should find. I apologize that sounds naive I hope you are okay.

I hope you find support, & comfort here. S F has helped me more than I can aay, hopefully you will too.

 

[KM76710]

Interests? What might they be?

I have a few, not many but some. I do enjoy reading a lot, and also sciences especially astronomy, fishing, spending time out camping, music both listening and playing. I admit more than a few of mine probably are boring if something like more exciting things. I prefer to relax and take things easier as the years get along.

 

[TigerFestival]

Oh my. Sounds like you were bullied. Do you feel like people are vultures. Only want fame and money?

Generally speaking yeah. I have a very cynical outlook on life and humanity in general.

Take all the time you need. We will be here and you are correct about taking care about the day to day living tasks are what needs to be top priority. Just join in as you want and can and once you explore the forum there are many sections both for support or lighter ones where people share hobbies and such. Great way to find people to make connections on subjects and like minded interests.

Thanks abunch. I'll be sure to look around a bit and if anything grabs my interest, I'll drop some comments.

Welcome @TigerFestival . You have serious challenges - I'm sorry things are so hard. Real life support seems like something, if possible, you should find. I apologize that sounds naive I hope you are okay.

I hope you find support, & comfort here. S F has helped me more than I can aay, hopefully you will too.

It's ok. Thanks for the welcome.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

@TigerFestival welcome. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. You'll find lots of support here and we have some members in similar situations living with parents or other family and worried what will happen when their parents or family members die. A lot of people here only have one other person, and some have none.

What happened with your friends, if you don't mind my asking? Just drift apart? Friends can be fickle.

I am sorry to hear about your obesity. It is such a burden. I am obese myself although I only got into this range recently (I'm 53). Like Waves said, maybe you could start going for walks as a starting point. Really it's not a good strategy hoping for the obesity to kill you because it could take a very long time. Better to get healthier so you can handle what may happen.

You mention YouTube - have you thought of starting a weight-loss-and-health channel? What other kinds of channels have you thought of? Do you have any pets?

I wonder if you should get assessed by a doctor to see if you meet the criteria for depression or other mental condition, and then maybe you could get disability? I'm not sure how it works in the US (I'm in Canada), but it seems to me that if you haven't worked for such a long time, there may be some kind of mental or physical barrier that will qualify you. Then you would have income if anything happened to your parents.

Do you watch any psychologists on YouTube. I like Therapy in a Nutshell and Dr. Tracey Marks.

I can't blame you for feeling cynical about life and humanity. I do think this kind of cynicism can be harmful to you. Have you read anything about Buddhism? I study Buddhism and also some Christianity - not so much as conventional religion as I believe in God but not in religion (former Catholic) ... but as spritual practice. Buddhism in particular has been refreshing and healing to me. The last statement in my signature is a Buddhist meditation on compassion to send to yourself and the world, and I send it to you now.

 

[Saint Rita]

Welcome to the SF family!

I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering so much, I hope things get better for you soon and you make many good friends here.

 

[iloverachel]

Welcome to this forum my friend, sorry to hear you are going through a tough time.
I hope you feel less alone and judged on this forum.
Please keep venting

 

[seabird]

Just saying hi & checking in @TigerFestival.
I hope you're finding some comfort here. I think this time of year is making it harder on everyone, weather, the news, etc. Have you chosen to try for walking? I'm hoping it is something you can keep up with - I rhink @Waves mentioned once a week but 4x / week s what I find keeps me slightly less anxious. When my anxiety is less, my depression is less as well.

Be well.

 

[TigerFestival]

Just saying hi & checking in @TigerFestival.
I hope you're finding some comfort here. I think this time of year is making it harder on everyone, weather, the news, etc. Have you chosen to try for walking? I'm hoping it is something you can keep up with - I rhink @Waves mentioned once a week but 4x / week s what I find keeps me slightly less anxious. When my anxiety is less, my depression is less as well.

Be well.

Thanks for checking in on me. I just been mostly floating around, feeling more anxious than usual since I have a doctor's appointment coming in Nov. 8th about my health. It's something I didn't want to do, but my mom forced me into this and once everyone finds out the truth about my health, I'll NEVER hear the end of it, which in turn will make my anxiety and depression worse. Sigh I hate my life.

 

[seabird]

You're welcome. I saw you weren't saying much. That is okay of course.

Ugh I don't envy you for the anxiety ramping up: doctors office & visits are so hard.

I hope it goes smoothly & your family doesn't stress you, but instead supports you.

 

[Innocent Forever]

Hello @TigerFestival
I sure hope we're nice ♡