Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by arteb, Mar 7, 2010.

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  1. arteb

    arteb Member

    Hey people, I'm new around here, and well, yes, many, many times I feel like I want to die very badly. Most of the time everything seems so horrible, hopeless to me I just want to die. I'm all alone. No one gives a shit about me, let alone love me. There are many times (a few hours ago, for example) when I feel so very extremely sad for no particular reason I can't even think and almost can't speak. I hate myself very much, I'm extremely stupid and nothing but a failure and a waste of space and oxygen, and if I died, everything and everyone would be much better off. I'm a cutter and right now I want to cut, but, most of the time, I don't even have the energy to do that. I also have bipolar and OCD. I'm such a fucking mess. Sorry for the stupid rant, but, I have no one to talk to.
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Hi Arteb,

    Welcome to the forum.

    It sounds like things are very rough for you right now.

    Has anything happened to make you feel so bad? Do you have any support to help you through this?
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you will make many friends here
  4. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    one thing for certain is that on here you will never be alone. talk to us and we will try to help. bipolar is a hard illness but i no many people who live perfectly good lives with it...what im trying to say is there is hope yet dont give up. hope ur ok.


  5. arteb

    arteb Member

    I want to die so bad right now. A while ago I wasn't this bad. And, well, nothing in particular has happened to make me feel this way, I think. I mean, I can't be sure, you know? I can't really think straight. I just know I want to die. I have nothing and no one.
  6. arteb

    arteb Member

    I hate everything. I feel like I'm going to explode. I want to die. I want to fucking break things or something. I want to hurt myself. I fucking hate myself.
  7. rostova

    rostova Member

    Most of what you said could have been said by me (and probably a lot of other people in this forum). So... at least you're not alone. I know that doesn't help much, but just know that others have been through this and have gotten through it.

    You probably can't handle this alone, so reach out to anyone who you think might be sympathetic. Maybe you should try an SSRI. It helped me tremendously went I used one for a few years, a while ago. It's amazing how much of this stuff is the direct result of brain chemistry. And you thought you had free will, didn't you? ;)
  8. A loser

    A loser Well-Known Member

    Hi op, I also have bipolar and ocd. I'm would be happy to talk to you. Not sure if I can help you; But If you want to talk I'm here. PM me.
  9. arteb

    arteb Member

    I can't be any more miserable. I hate life. I fucking hate life and happiness and joy. I want fucking death. I want an ending.
  10. arteb

    arteb Member

    I am not. I fucking am not.
  11. arteb

    arteb Member

    Hey. I don't know what to say. Or maybe I do know, but don't know how to say it. Can't really think. I want to throw up. I'm tired. I can't sleep. I can't cry. I want to die. Human kind scares me and makes me very sad. Human kind hates me. I hate the universe. Do you all hate me? People around here can be so mean and cruel. Please don't hate me. Or maybe you should. I don't know. I don't mean to offend anyone. I'm sad. I want to cry but I can't. I don't know why. I just don't know why. I wish I could. I really wish I could. I'm nervous too. I want to cut, but I don't have the energy. I want to die. I'm so fucking sad. I fucking want to be able to cry. It is all so pointless. Fuck. I don't know why the fuck am I invisible. I hate this computer. I don't know what's happening in my head. I don't know why I can't control it. I don't know what I'm feeling. I just know it feels like shit. I'm fucking sad. I'm sorry. I hate the universe.
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