Hm...

[PeterIsntMyRealName]

Where do I begin? I've been depressed since I was 12, 17 now.
Been in treatment since I was 15.

I dropped out of high school because of my depression. I was a straight A student, too. I just can't function with school and depression. I've tried to go back for a year and a half, and have lasted 15 days at most. I should be a junior now, my goal was to go back and enjoy my last year and a half of high school.
I signed up for a night program to regain some credits, it started today, I didn't go. I don't know why, I'm not bullied, I'm not an outcast, I don't have a lot of friends but I have people who care about me there, but having to think about going makes me very anxious. Once I'm there, the anxiety is tolerable, for the most part.
Ok, I can't go to school, big deal, right? There are other options. I can't move on. I don't want to, I can pass a GED test with minimal effort, go to community college a year earlier than my class, and then transfer somewhere else. I just don't want to move on.

I've reached the point where I finally thought I was better many times, but it was always short lived.
I don't see myself getting better. I don't see this illness as treatable anymore, but as a part of me. I don't want to try anymore.

Oh yeah, its 330 am. I don't sleep normally, ever. I force myself to stay awake, and fight sleeping pills.

-Peter

 

[~Nobody~]

Hey hon' :smile:.

I'm glad you found us here. Sorry that things are so bad for you right now. :hug:

I can really empathise with a lot of what I said. Whilst the reasons behind our depression may be different, I too am a straight A student who has stopped going to school. You described my feelings about it very well in what you said.

I was also awake and posting at 3.30am (UK time). Although last night it pissed me off that I couldn't sleep, I'm very familiar with forcing myself to stay awake.

I guess my point is that if you want to talk about things then you'll find a lot of people here (myself included!) who really understand how you feel.

So, talk away :smile:. We're here for you. :arms:

 

[PeterIsntMyRealName]

Thank you, ~Nobody~. I'm glad somebody can relate. Heres to potential unfufilled by depression. :cheer::blink:

-Peter

 

[~Nobody~]

I think that it's okay to be unable to cope with that kind of thing. We just have to be trying to get better. (I know that's hard...)

Do you feel that there's a reason for your depression?

x