horrible selfcare.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by 1818, Aug 23, 2014.

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  1. 1818

    1818 Member

    several friends of mine come to me when they are feeling low, panicky, etc. & I always drop anything I'm doing or dealing with to help them immediately because that's just how I am. but my selfcare is horrible & it always leaves me feeling like complete shit & usually quite triggered. but I genuinely can't just not help them. whether I help them or not, I end up feeling pretty shitty. they never bother checking in & seeing where im at mentally, all i get is a "thanks alot!! have a good night!" I just can't win.

    my friends tell me I give great advice & that I'm really good at helping them, so that's why they come to me.. but if I'm so good at helping & advice, why can't I help myself & take my own advice?

    please don't tell me to not help them until I'm healthy enough or anything like that because that's unrealistic. I honestly can't do that.

    I just don't know what to do & I'm frustrating because I'm tired of feeling like this & having this happen.

    (none of that makes sense I'm sorry)
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    you could try imagining a beautiful but powerful protective bubble around yourself before you help other people. Make sure it stays there in tact while you are helping them.

    Also you might try, when you are done helping them, imaginging a beautiful rose vacume cleaner and use it to clean out every part of your body and around your body. Then toss out the vacume rose. Or if you are very adventurous you might try setting free many rose vacume cleaners just make sure they clear out everything. Then you might imagine a beautiful sun pouring its light through and around you to fill you up. After you are done vacuming out.

    Why do I suggest this? Because I take on other peoples stuff when I am helping them. I actually was advised to take courses to learn how to protect myself from taking on their stuff. I help few people now. Because I was spending all my time when I was a lot younger helping people. Sure, I was great at it. I had to stop because it made me very physically ill.

    i am not saying you will become ill as i did. My circumstances were unique. But if it feels right you might want to try the method above to protect and then clear yourself.
  3. Viktor

    Viktor Well-Known Member

    It does make sense. And that you are helping others who feels down is really awesome. Not many people does that. Many people does opposite. They leave the depressed people which is complete disaster. Loosk like you are like angel for them.

    But i understand you may feel down yourself. Maybe you could also tell your problems to those friends you are helping. Perhaps they could hear you out and somehow help you too. That's what friends are for. Friends should help each other :) Don't keep stuff that troubling you for yourself.
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