How’s Your Therapy Going?
- Thread starter dandelions
- Start date
Zoom (or whatever), you’d think would be state of the art (as in highly functioning) you’d think - this being the 21st century and all.... but i suppose communication is not whats first and foremost. but idk.
anyway, i’d think that for a video group therapy, it would have to be run by a psychologist (or other qualified mh professional) who is strong enough to keep everything running at an appropriate and desired level. level is not necessarily the best word but the moderator should keep everything within certain guidelines. i don’t think an individual talking about triggering things is a good idea if it triggers someone else without their understanding beforehand that this is what might happen and then that individual consents to attending. i also think arguements between participants is not a good idea if it takes up the whole session and happens only between a couple of people in the group as happens in the group i’m in.
we are all in it to be able to address issues that are top priorities for us each. granted they do do checkins where one can say what is a pressing issue but to then check in makes one feel that they will be able to speak about it during the session. not being able to for any reason by my thinking defeats the purpose of group therapy. every now and then the psychologist makes comments and sometimes i can’t help feeling that the comment made is a justification or rationalization for the whole session being out of control and the psychologist just not really properly equipped.
could this be what is going on for you @Sunspots ? it is for me. but at the same time i can’t help feeling that group therapy could and should be an essential tool for healing - if only it were done properly. maybe the patients should be running it.
and @johnDoen , i feel much of what i say about group also applies to individual. things like “man up” are simply inappropriate and only illustrate the therapist’s failings. i’m wondering what the patients can do to make therapy more responsive and proactive.
anyway, i’d think that for a video group therapy, it would have to be run by a psychologist (or other qualified mh professional) who is strong enough to keep everything running at an appropriate and desired level. level is not necessarily the best word but the moderator should keep everything within certain guidelines. i don’t think an individual talking about triggering things is a good idea if it triggers someone else without their understanding beforehand that this is what might happen and then that individual consents to attending. i also think arguements between participants is not a good idea if it takes up the whole session and happens only between a couple of people in the group as happens in the group i’m in.
we are all in it to be able to address issues that are top priorities for us each. granted they do do checkins where one can say what is a pressing issue but to then check in makes one feel that they will be able to speak about it during the session. not being able to for any reason by my thinking defeats the purpose of group therapy. every now and then the psychologist makes comments and sometimes i can’t help feeling that the comment made is a justification or rationalization for the whole session being out of control and the psychologist just not really properly equipped.
could this be what is going on for you @Sunspots ? it is for me. but at the same time i can’t help feeling that group therapy could and should be an essential tool for healing - if only it were done properly. maybe the patients should be running it.
and @johnDoen , i feel much of what i say about group also applies to individual. things like “man up” are simply inappropriate and only illustrate the therapist’s failings. i’m wondering what the patients can do to make therapy more responsive and proactive.
I think if it's a professional running the group then yes, they should try to draw you out - that's part of their job.
The whole triggering thing is tricky. The girl in group last week really needed to talk about it. It was sort of an emergency situation. Me being triggered was my problem, not hers. It's my job to be learn how to manage my response to my triggers. I think if it had been in a face to face group rather than on zoom I'd have handled it better. I'm always on edge doing video calls anyway and being at my home somehow makes hearing things like that harder. If we're in a neutral room it's not infecting my home. I can walk out of the door and leave those images there. I don't know if that makes sense.
My last group was so good that maybe I'll always be disappointed with subsequent groups. Or maybe online groups just aren't for me. I've made the decision not to continue with this one, at least while it stays on zoom. When lockdown ends the plan is to make it face to face so I'll give it another go when that happens.
The whole triggering thing is tricky. The girl in group last week really needed to talk about it. It was sort of an emergency situation. Me being triggered was my problem, not hers. It's my job to be learn how to manage my response to my triggers. I think if it had been in a face to face group rather than on zoom I'd have handled it better. I'm always on edge doing video calls anyway and being at my home somehow makes hearing things like that harder. If we're in a neutral room it's not infecting my home. I can walk out of the door and leave those images there. I don't know if that makes sense.
My last group was so good that maybe I'll always be disappointed with subsequent groups. Or maybe online groups just aren't for me. I've made the decision not to continue with this one, at least while it stays on zoom. When lockdown ends the plan is to make it face to face so I'll give it another go when that happens.
Last time we met before his vacation, during check in, i gave a really avoidant and brief comment. It may have even seemed like i was in a good mood. I actually did that because i need to really talk about self harm, much of which i do not perceive as that, and my most disruptive “state” which i’ve kept secret all my life. Yet i fear being too extreme and freaking out the rest of the group. I can’t evaluate the severity of me, but indicators tell me my story is not one people want to hear, not because mine is about brutal childhood abuse, but because... it just seems irking to people. I’ve encountered the reluctance of others to have to hear about me from me already. This therapist actually already knows all of that stuff, so when i made my avoidant comment, he actually shook his head in disbelief. But he let the group work on some other people’s arguements over how each should attempt healing and i got basically left out as i saw it. I know i could have jumped in at any time. But unfortunately my nature is to step back and get trampled on if not ignored. He probably thinks leaving me to my own devices is what i need to bring myself to standing up for myself!
I know that for myself, Zoom makes me feel uncomfortable because i’m in a room at home by myself but we live in a small apartment. My wife is basically on the other side of the closed door and my son not much further. I’ve come to believe that my wife can and does listen in. On the one hand that means she knows my secrets but on the other, i still can’t come to terms with my secrets myself so i dread having to have the conversation... Having that conversation is what i need to learn to do (i have a theory this might sound familiar to you Lu). I do miss going to my therapist’s office to talk in person (pre covid). Then we had been doing phone while i would go for my walks in the park. Then in that situation, only total strangers would possibley hear all that s**t about me. Zoom does make the secret or the private stuff kind of out there for anyone in correct proximity to hear. Is that what you mean?
I know you have had good experience in the past with f2f. I hope you can get that experience again. For us in NYC, i think face to face is still just wishful thinking for maybe another upcoming tbd year... I’m hoping it can happen soon...
I know that for myself, Zoom makes me feel uncomfortable because i’m in a room at home by myself but we live in a small apartment. My wife is basically on the other side of the closed door and my son not much further. I’ve come to believe that my wife can and does listen in. On the one hand that means she knows my secrets but on the other, i still can’t come to terms with my secrets myself so i dread having to have the conversation... Having that conversation is what i need to learn to do (i have a theory this might sound familiar to you Lu). I do miss going to my therapist’s office to talk in person (pre covid). Then we had been doing phone while i would go for my walks in the park. Then in that situation, only total strangers would possibley hear all that s**t about me. Zoom does make the secret or the private stuff kind of out there for anyone in correct proximity to hear. Is that what you mean?
I know you have had good experience in the past with f2f. I hope you can get that experience again. For us in NYC, i think face to face is still just wishful thinking for maybe another upcoming tbd year... I’m hoping it can happen soon...
years ago i had a therapist who i felt very fond and admiringly toward and nowadays i have to avoid saying the real extent of what my feelings were at the time. and i told her over and over that i needed to stop therapy with her. i was twice her age btw - not to mention what i thought about myself. i think this kind of situation is fairly normal - that’s what i hear anyway. but it does make one wonder why there are not some standard ways of approaching it and dealing with it. i wish i had already been well established here on SF at the time because i’d probably been better able to handle it. I did stop seeing her for insurance reasons but my next therapist - also a woman - i worked hard to keep that love danger at bay by calling her “Doctor...” all the time. fortunately she is a PysD so calling her Doctor is correct. but i hope you don’t always feel embarrassed by feelings that are natural, especially in a situation where the person is there to be kind and supportive. it just naturally happens.
Yes, I was more thinking along the lines of a stop gap, or bridge, to get you from there (last weekend, or whenever) to here - more like midweek, or when you see / hear from your therapist again. . . Sorry, I didn't see this sooner. Will be back for more likely, later~ (if I can think of anything noteworthy to add; or if I do, rather in fact have any...) : ) Hope you're doing okay!
To report on my therapy today, I actually spoke in group today. The group seems supportive and also reassured that I was not rejecting them myself - just that in so many situations I feel like an outsider. But I'm still quite paralyzed when it comes to talking about my most important issues. I both want and fear what these issues are all about. I seriously question what group will be able to do for me.
i’m still pretty not happy about how this intensive therapy is going. tomorrow will be one week from the post above. so tomorrow i will see again how things may be developing. i spoke with the psychiatrist assigned to me by the program and i mentioned my difficulty with feeling like i’m a part of the group. there were a few other things we spoke about too. at least i’m able to discuss things in a meeting with my therapist or my psychiatrist. i guess i have to keep an open mind.
yikes its nearly almost may! lately my individual therapy and my group therapy and even the DBT and the other group in intensive program, not to mention the other program i’ve been attending for the childhood abuse, have really been pushing me to the point of tears! i have this device in my brain - ikd - maybe for my trip to earth - the other 👽👽👽🛸👽👽👽 left me with some kind of “safety” implant in the brain or butt or what - that automatically shuts all the cry glands so it just doesn’t happen. (cold creature me). i cry not. but maybe what i’ve been doing of late has finally worn out the implant(s). tears may actually flow someday soon.
i’m hoping i won’t get carried away in the resulting river. hopefully, because you already know me, if i do go missing - you will look for someone who looks like this 👽 or better still this 🌞 and realize its me and you can bring me back to the Café or really anywhere safe here on SF.
this is how my therapy is going
i’m hoping i won’t get carried away in the resulting river. hopefully, because you already know me, if i do go missing - you will look for someone who looks like this 👽 or better still this 🌞 and realize its me and you can bring me back to the Café or really anywhere safe here on SF.
this is how my therapy is going
Idk of this helps, but I have heard major talk online how dbt is a moneymaking scam and hurts a lot of people. On twitter last summer I recall a professor that runs a rape clinic talking about how scary it is and it bullies many victims. I don't know much about it except it was pushed on me and I refused it (of course having people say that I don't want help 🙄 )
And I'm glad that you are trying to keep an open mind, but if you are being hurt or feel like you don't fit in, what's the point in doing it?
I didn't read the whole thread cause I'm tired, but here to say the psych system and therapy directly and indirectly put my life in danger, and my experience was fraudulent therapists/psychs that stole from me and were mostly incompetent at their job, and deliberately gave me wrong information, deliberately ignored my information and took advantage of me as a cast off of the church.
I personally experienced a cult-psych-disability-homeless pipeline. And very few people believe me except others who have had problems with the psych or mental health system. I could write books on what therapy did to me if that hadn't ruined me so much. I was narcisstically and sociopathically preyed on as well, a lot..in domestic violence safe places too.
I'm sure good therapists exist. I know they do, but for many they will never meet that person and their efforts to get help will backfire.
What I've learned is, if anyone tried to control or drug you right off the bat, something is red flag alarm bells wrong. And if your telling group therapists or personal ones that therapy isn't working for one reason or another and they don't take strides to fix that immidiately to your satisfaction, then they are not healers. They are not there for your best interest or they are incapable as therapists.
And I'm glad that you are trying to keep an open mind, but if you are being hurt or feel like you don't fit in, what's the point in doing it?
I didn't read the whole thread cause I'm tired, but here to say the psych system and therapy directly and indirectly put my life in danger, and my experience was fraudulent therapists/psychs that stole from me and were mostly incompetent at their job, and deliberately gave me wrong information, deliberately ignored my information and took advantage of me as a cast off of the church.
I personally experienced a cult-psych-disability-homeless pipeline. And very few people believe me except others who have had problems with the psych or mental health system. I could write books on what therapy did to me if that hadn't ruined me so much. I was narcisstically and sociopathically preyed on as well, a lot..in domestic violence safe places too.
I'm sure good therapists exist. I know they do, but for many they will never meet that person and their efforts to get help will backfire.
What I've learned is, if anyone tried to control or drug you right off the bat, something is red flag alarm bells wrong. And if your telling group therapists or personal ones that therapy isn't working for one reason or another and they don't take strides to fix that immidiately to your satisfaction, then they are not healers. They are not there for your best interest or they are incapable as therapists.
I do believe the dangers you speak of do exist but I do also believe a person may need the help so much that seeking it and trying to use it are necessary. Then it is also necessary to stay on top of things to keep it applicable to you and appropriate and not harmful.
For myself, I've had experiences that have fallen into the grey area where what not right happening could have been the provider or only how I was interpreting it.
At present, my intensive program provides group therapy which is helpful. My biggest problem with the dbt part is that it doesn't apply to me. So much covers how to deal with friends and romantic relationships but I have no friends and it doesn't talk about the issues I've had relating to romance particularly that during my teens through 35 or so I had no relationships lasting more than a week and the time spent only presented itself as a taunt about how nice it might be were it to be a lasting thing - which of course it wasn't.
More on my romantic life after that time, I'm not comfortable discussing ATM.
It always hurts when everyone else in the dbt group discusses problems they have with a romantic partner while I'm only wishing I'd been that much deeply involved in a relationships to have such a problem. To me everyone else is so lucky and successful. Anyone should try being me if they want to feel better about themselves. That's why I hate dbt.
Ultimately I am doing my best to keep my therapy safe and appropriate and making sure I am not taking meds at least for the duration. There is much more to say about this though.
For myself, I've had experiences that have fallen into the grey area where what not right happening could have been the provider or only how I was interpreting it.
At present, my intensive program provides group therapy which is helpful. My biggest problem with the dbt part is that it doesn't apply to me. So much covers how to deal with friends and romantic relationships but I have no friends and it doesn't talk about the issues I've had relating to romance particularly that during my teens through 35 or so I had no relationships lasting more than a week and the time spent only presented itself as a taunt about how nice it might be were it to be a lasting thing - which of course it wasn't.
More on my romantic life after that time, I'm not comfortable discussing ATM.
It always hurts when everyone else in the dbt group discusses problems they have with a romantic partner while I'm only wishing I'd been that much deeply involved in a relationships to have such a problem. To me everyone else is so lucky and successful. Anyone should try being me if they want to feel better about themselves. That's why I hate dbt.
Ultimately I am doing my best to keep my therapy safe and appropriate and making sure I am not taking meds at least for the duration. There is much more to say about this though.