I just feel like I'm crazy... at times I lose control over myself and do/say hurtful things that I do not mean and that I would otherwise never do/say... but idk, at times I feel like a wave of negative emotions hits me all of a sudden and I'm left to drown in those negative emotions, not being able to escape.. so all of a sudden I feel extremely angry or hurt or disappointed or sad or whatever and it takes over my whole self, it drives me crazy, i do bad things... and some time later I am me again, calm, crying and regretting everything that I did and knowing that all of it was my fault...
Today I hurt my partner, whom I love very very much... idk what got into me, but I know that I am responsible for this and it's all my fault...
I just don't feel like living anymore if I would continue feeling miserable without even knowing why and ripping my life apart....