How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Winslow

My Toughest Problem Has Been Solved.
SF Supporter
Keep getting the urge to do something stupid and risky. I want to take a risk, do something dangerous. It may work or it might not but if it does then I won’t be back in work tomorrow. It’s pulling me, telling me to just do it. It won’t leave my head until it’s done so what the point of fighting it? The quicker it’s done the better.
Your state of mind is in the danger zone now, so I strongly advise you to call your local crisis line. They can even send someone over to your house to talk to you.
 

Winslow

My Toughest Problem Has Been Solved.
SF Supporter
I was actually being ironic about having been a serial killer in a previous life to "deserve" this depression and anxiety and my life's difficulties. I actually don't believe in that type of karma, and I find it reprehensible to say that babies or small children (or even adults) with terrible disease have bad karma and done something in a previous life to deserve that kind of suffering. That may be your belief, but you are stating it as a fact. An important distinction when you are passing judgement on another human being's moral character.

Humans come up with all kinds of reasons why suffering exists in the world - why there is pain, sickness and death. Bottom line: we don't know, and we shouldn't judge the character of people who are suffering. If it gives you comfort to think that you have worked off your bad karma and deserve your present paradise, then that's fine just don't make broad generalizations that are neither proven nor provable.
The only reason I responded to your earlier post was because you mentioned Reincarnation which is part of my religious beliefs. Yes, I knew you were speaking metaphorically when you mentioned your serial killer idea. But Karma means cause and effect, so I'm sure you agree that much of what you do in the present, causes results in the future, yes? For example if you put your hand in a fire, then you will get burnt. Cause and effect. So Karma is always there.
That's why I have good results in my present because of the actions I took previously, which eventually led to my making my dream come true.
So if you have struggles and misery presently but endure them, then they will pay off handsomely. Because you HAVE made some progress, haven't you?
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
idk i wanna feel bad cause i feel bad at the back of my head nagging at me but my friends has been making so happy lately like they’re seriously putting in a lot of effort in pulling me out of suicidal mode and like taking a break from everything to have fun together over the long weekend and calming down today. 😺🧚‍♀️
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
Bad. Really bad. Hopeless. My last strings are broken now.
I just want to leave it all.
I didn't even want to have my morning coffee. I have tons to do, at home and outside, and I just want to finish the online classes and back to bed. I don't care, what if I don't meet the projects deadlines, what if I don't go to the post office, what if I don'tget my painkillers, what if...? I don't care, no matter what I do, everything ends getting bad for me.
If I had an small string of hope, something that, eventually, could help to change the things, I just learnt that it doesn't exist, no reason to have any hope to get anything.
And more bad stuff coming, these week I'm gonna get another job rejection, in one which I fitted perfectly, but they will reject me because obviously. How would I get anything good?
 
ugh I hate that I've got into the habit of opening up to certain people this year. They make me feel worse half the time and I would never normally open up to them because of that but ive been so desperate this year ive done it anyway. now im in the habit of it I dont know how to stop opening up to them. it just comes out. they'll probably use this against me one day too and ive told them so much so many times this year its unlikely they'll forget it
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
ugh I hate that I've got into the habit of opening up to certain people this year. They make me feel worse half the time and I would never normally open up to them because of that but ive been so desperate this year ive done it anyway. now im in the habit of it I dont know how to stop opening up to them. it just comes out. they'll probably use this against me one day too and ive told them so much so many times this year its unlikely they'll forget it
I understand you. I don't share too much with most people because I am afraid of that, of my pain being used against me. But now I only open up completely to one person (apart from my therapist) and I am afraid of overwhelming her.
You have us here and you know that this is a safe place, no one would use anything against you and you're heard and understood *sadhug*sadhug
 
My "friend" really has been disappointing me. She basically betrayed me and my other friend and turned into a lying hypocrite who treats strangers better than us. And stupid me, a helpless emotional person who can't get her out of my mind, thinking about the good days.
 
I understand you. I don't share too much with most people because I am afraid of that, of my pain being used against me. But now I only open up completely to one person (apart from my therapist) and I am afraid of overwhelming her.
You have us here and you know that this is a safe place, no one would use anything against you and you're heard and understood *sadhug*sadhug
thank you ♥

yeah, my problem is I only have one person I open up to normally who I can trust and who understands me and supports me and loves me but they're the reason I'm so anxious and upset this year so I have nobody to talk to about that :( I mean there are people here and there like acquaintances, but it's not the same as talking to someone about it who loves you and supports you everyday and helps you get through things and can talk for hours. This person has been weird and shitty most the year which is the opposite of what they're normally like, and the last I heard they were focusing on their own problems in their life and said they'd reconnect with me when they feel like talking so I've basically been waiting for months for them to come back and as i have no clue when they'll feel better I dont know how much longer I have to wait and I'm not close to anyone else so life's really empty and hard without them and my anxiety is driving me mad coming up with all these sinister theories of -what if they dont care anymore, what if theyve become so detached from you from being away for so long that they arent bothered about talking anymore, what if they dont love you anymore, etc etc- and its killing me :( I need to learn to stop blabbing to the person I live with though, it wont help me in the long run but as theres nobody else I see/talk to on a regular basis they're all I have for now.

it's horrible isnt it :( I understand about worrying about overwhelming people, you need to get things off your chest but you worry the other person might get put off by you and you're scared of losing them but if you keep everything to yourself thats overwhelming too :( *hug10
 
My "friend" really has been disappointing me. She basically betrayed me and my other friend and turned into a lying hypocrite who treats strangers better than us. And stupid me, a helpless emotional person who can't get her out of my mind, thinking about the good days.
ugh I hate hypocrites, known quite a few over the years. Hopefully karma will get people like that
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Bad. Really bad. Hopeless. My last strings are broken now.
I just want to leave it all.
I didn't even want to have my morning coffee. I have tons to do, at home and outside, and I just want to finish the online classes and back to bed. I don't care, what if I don't meet the projects deadlines, what if I don't go to the post office, what if I don'tget my painkillers, what if...? I don't care, no matter what I do, everything ends getting bad for me.
If I had an small string of hope, something that, eventually, could help to change the things, I just learnt that it doesn't exist, no reason to have any hope to get anything.
And more bad stuff coming, these week I'm gonna get another job rejection, in one which I fitted perfectly, but they will reject me because obviously. How would I get anything good?
*console*sadhug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
ugh I hate that I've got into the habit of opening up to certain people this year. They make me feel worse half the time and I would never normally open up to them because of that but ive been so desperate this year ive done it anyway. now im in the habit of it I dont know how to stop opening up to them. it just comes out. they'll probably use this against me one day too and ive told them so much so many times this year its unlikely they'll forget it
*hugyou can always open up here, we will never use it against you...mike...*hug*shake
 
Headache tonight and feeling very tired. The way I was ignored today at work made me feel very undervalued, invisible. Sometimes I’m ok with that and I can put my head down and carry on doing what I’m supposed to but other times I find that it hurts and I feel upset. It upset me today. I want to feel part of something but I’m always left on the outside. Makes me wonder what I’ve done wrong.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Headache tonight and feeling very tired. The way I was ignored today at work made me feel very undervalued, invisible. Sometimes I’m ok with that and I can put my head down and carry on doing what I’m supposed to but other times I find that it hurts and I feel upset. It upset me today. I want to feel part of something but I’m always left on the outside. Makes me wonder what I’ve done wrong.
*hug*shake
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Admin
SF Supporter
Feeling pretty anxious today as I submitted an application for a job. It's only the second one I've applied for in years and the first was very half hearted. It's only part time and a temporary contract but it would mean so much to be working again.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Feeling pretty anxious today as I submitted an application for a job. It's only the second one I've applied for in years and the first was very half hearted. It's only part time and a temporary contract but it would mean so much to be working again.
i hope you get it. working is such a good thing to feel healthy. it does give you a self importance. keep trying i know you'll do well..mike...*hug*shake
 

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