• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Supporter
Completely and utterly overwhelmed. I don’t know where to start. Have so much work to do and can’t focus on any of it. Preparing, marking and the teaching live lessons to as many as 150 students a day is impossible.
I know how you feel, I work IT for schools and just today I did paperwork, fixed some asset tracking issues and set up 62 laptops with a custom image, office, antivirus and web filtering software, all by myself and I have way more to do tomorrow. Times a crap, everyone is scrambling and the only recourse is to hold on tight and do your best, and I swear if I see one more school ask me to set up 50-100 laptops out of nowhere with only a few days notice I am going to EXPLODE!

And now, for a "I know your pain" Hug. *brohug Feel the comradery.

I don’t know to hate my mum or not. My symptoms kinda freaked everyone out cause I just told them I saw “drips of blood in my urine” after doing no 1 & 2 a lot but then those bloods last for 2 days and only happened to be spotting that was missed cause I didn’t carefully keep track of it. My mum helped me evaluate my trackers and actually resets my medical appointments after I defaulted it because the spotting causes my legit mood swings that my Endocrine should discuss abt the “spotting and no period” issue which is what everyone is worried about when all I want is just drugs and escape. Damn. I just wanna be mad at my doctors, mum, friends and everyone but I guess that’s what my mood swings do whenever my hormones fluctuate like that and I didn’t know. I didn’t even know it has been spotting for few months.

I’m sorry tmi but I wanna be so angry at everybody but why is everyone so kind to me. 😹
Sometimes people being nice just makes you hate them more because all you want to do is hate SOMEONE but everyone is denying your the opportunity. Sometimes you just need to hate. *brohug If you need someone to hate, know that I am KNOWINGLY denying you the opportunity to hate me by being nice to you, and that I said that knowing it would just confuse the issue of my motivations and whether you can hate me or not.

Commence the hate. *hiding

I was trembling like jelly after a comment in social media called me ugly indirectly, and after an hour, I still am. Istg I'm trembling and it's hard to breathe.
I think I get it, I have had this reaction before. If someone says something mean then it happens and its over, but if they post it online then it just sits there, and as much as you may wish to erase it from the earth, it just wont go away, like it is being said over and over and over without end. Thats why I hate social media generally, its just full of crap people who dont think about what the post and post things that can never be taken down.

*brohugHave a Virtual Hug, this is exchangeable for exactly 1.2e^(-47) bitcoin.
 
Hi @Dante I definitely share your pain on this. I teach Ict and computing. The techs where I work have been non stop like you describe for months without a break. I know I’m putting demands on them all the time. Setting up laptops, migrating user areas to the cloud drive etc. I understand what you are going through and I’m so sorry. *hug Xx
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

Renegade banshee
SF Supporter
Not liking my therapist too much. Had another therapy session yesterday (if that's what you want to call it, anyway), and not only is she not doing what she originally said she would do with me, and what I specifically told her I wanted out of theraoy when she asked me, she also seems to think now that she knows my mother better than I do. She was sitting there trying to convince me that the woman hasn't done anything wrong. Um, yeah, actually she's done a LOT of wrong. And not just to me. True, she technically doesn't owe me anything at this point and time (if we're talking material things), considering I'm an adult now, but I never fucking said that she did. What she does owe me, however, is acknowledgement of what she's done to me in the past and a fucking apology. Also, some love and support would be nice (doesn't matter whether I'm a child or an adult--this is something that mothers are always supposed to do), but I know she's not capable of it, so I don't even expect that much. Just the apology itself would be fine if she actually meant it. Regardless, it's like, who the fuck are you to be arguing with me about this? You barely even know me or my mother. And believe me, if you did know her, and seen some of the things she's said and done, you'd be fucking appalled. So don't be fucking telling me what she does or doesn't owe me. "But she gave you life, though". Yeah...and...? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? So because she gave me life that gives her permission to act like a total c*nt to me my entire life? That gives her an excuse to constantly try to justify her crappy parenting and never admit her mistakes or even say "sorry"? No. I don't think so. GTFO with that shit. "She gave me life." Was I ever asked whether I wanted it in the first place? Nope. Don't think so. Not to mention, she also almost listened to my c*nt of a grandmother and aborted me. So if you want to go that route, I could just as well say she almost "didn't give me life". It's not your job to just fucking sit there and judge shit that you know nothing about. It's your job to do what you said you were going to do originally and actually help me change my emotional/behavioral issues. You're a therapist...so "therapize". Do something, for fuck's sake.
Wow, she should understand that some parents can be monsters to their children. As a therapist, she should get that, because some people end up in therapy because of how they are treated by their family. So yeah, just because someone gave you life doesn't give them a free pass to treat you however they want to.
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, full of kittens & colours •✮•
Sometimes people being nice just makes you hate them more because all you want to do is hate SOMEONE but everyone is denying your the opportunity. Sometimes you just need to hate. *brohug If you need someone to hate, know that I am KNOWINGLY denying you the opportunity to hate me by being nice to you, and that I said that knowing it would just confuse the issue of my motivations and whether you can hate me or not.

Commence the hate. *hiding
Kitty likes you 😺🤗
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, full of kittens & colours •✮•
its quite funny if I think back about it. I so haven’t been able to think straight all week.

1. my mum saved me from attempts.
2. me being saved again, still feels sick, defaulted all appointments and worries more about work instead. this is like worrying about school deadline all over again...
3. someone actually shuts me up and put me into bed. even my boss gave me another off day and I feel weird that I am so not a pro at listening to my body when its overuse/not good at resting in general.
4. still wants to ambush my hospital, but they did not accept my offer in defaulting all appointments abruptly.
5. and last... I vent out to everyone about my condition but can’t be bothered to see my doctor.. yea okay.. I am still crazy...

🤣🤣🤣
 
Last edited:

Sunspots

Daydream Believer
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
My stomach is churning with anxiety and I'm trying not to cry. I have an appointment in half an hour to look at a breast lump. I spoke to the doctor this morning and of course he wants me to come in so he can look at it. I'm 99.9% sure it's scar tissue from the last breast cancer but I need to make sure for my own peace of mind.
It just takes me back to last time. Months of being poked, prodded and mithered. I felt like a piece of meat, reduced to a diagnosis rather than a person.
 

Baywasp

I want wind to blow
I'm allowing myself to be a bit hopeful that I'll be able to get my surgery soon. My psychiatrist is going to be writing my letter this week and I’ve reached out to my therapist to get a letter from her as well. I don’t know how long it will take to get insurance approval, but they made it sound like it shouldn’t be long once I got the letters sent in. One problem is that I couldn’t schedule an appointment with my primary care provider to get medically cleared until just before the end of the month, but idk how much that will affect things. My current aim is to have surgery at the beginning of February, but maybe that won’t work out.
 

Sunspots

Daydream Believer
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I'm allowing myself to be a bit hopeful that I'll be able to get my surgery soon. My psychiatrist is going to be writing my letter this week and I’ve reached out to my therapist to get a letter from her as well. I don’t know how long it will take to get insurance approval, but they made it sound like it shouldn’t be long once I got the letters sent in. One problem is that I couldn’t schedule an appointment with my primary care provider to get medically cleared until just before the end of the month, but idk how much that will affect things. My current aim is to have surgery at the beginning of February, but maybe that won’t work out.
That's great Baywasp. Keeping everything crossed for you :)
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$305.00
Goal
$255.00
Top