So much. I hate being so directly ill but I feel when I am used to it, I have forgotten what it feels like to share symptoms with others- even I am in denial about it of myself as it progresses and it can be controlling over my life, yes, dramatic. This is when it draws the line when my meds and painkillers aren't working as much. My supposedly "next of kin," mum knows only on surface but not always everyone knows about every little struggle or symptoms. Like I can say "meds is not working, I have been getting headache" and thats it so I felt I have been an expert at keeping it very much to myself cause I know I own it- anything to keep you blinded.
Haha even if I did go to the emergency, I am used to go alone cause I know how immediate it can be and I can say. I wont even have the energy to decide how to chose who to tell or the energy to care to update.