I'm doing a bit better than a few days ago, but very anxious. My brother-in-law who lives in our town is driving me into the city tomorrow to see my brother in hospital. I just found out he was going into the city when I called to ask about him driving me at some point. I found out at 11pm.
My mother will be angry I didn't invite her but she went to see my brother today (she got a lift with the driver from her residence). I ignored her calls today because she is stressing me out calling every day and catastrophizing about my brother's condition, about how bad he looks and how he will need to stay in hospital for weeks and the colostomy bag will be awful, etc, etc.
But I spoke to my brother and he says he's doing better and even went for a walk around the ward. He's getting the feeding tube and catheter removed tomorrow. He was fine with me visiting tomorrow. I'm not sure how long he'll be in hospital but I'm thinking if there was some post-surgery problem it would have showed up by now. Fingers crossed.
My mother will just have to deal with the fact that i came into town and visited him and didn't visit her. A lot of crap has gone on this summer and the buses were on strike for months so I haven't seen her in person since the spring. But I talk to her a few times a week and she talks and talks and talks and.... I just don't know. She is really getting to me with all her negativity about my brother's condition.
Compassion for Myself first...
