How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Lane]

Loser

Noones a loser in my book. Especially a friend at SF.

 

[Lane]

Pretty blah and worried, also maybe still in a bit of shock about my sis moving so much further away in about a month and a half. I might have gotten the news about “where” they’ll be moving to a couple weeks ago now (same day I first started feeling sick) but ya I really think I’m still in shock about it. Feels like a very big and overwhelming change and I just really wish there was a way to “know” that my mom, kitty and I will all be ok no matter what happens.

I’m too afraid of death and there are lots of things I like about life but ya this is definitely making me feel very afraid and worried about our future. Just don’t know what to do right now I guess. Feeling tired of feeling so restless too. Trying as always to stay positive and hopeful about things but it is very challenging with these changes right now.

Sorry that you're having scary feelings about your future JMG. I bet its only natural and that everything will work out as it is meant to be. I have a feeling that your relationship with your sister will become even stronger as she embarks on this new phase in her life. I'm glad that you have your mom and kitty so close to you. I count my blessings that I have my children close to me too. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you during this transition period for you.

 

[AvidFan]

I'm doing OK. I've been having a tough time lately feeling totally overworked - a consequence of having 2 very different jobs and trying to manage both. Also anxiety about whether either job has any long term future so trying to future proof both while monitoring other opps. Had some issues with websites I use to get work dropping off the face of Google so have been doing mad SEO which seems to be helping. Got a bit obssessive changing one word on pages, re-subbing to Google and seeing the position change. Ironically I can get a site from page 2 to page 1 or vice versa by changing one word, god knows what the SEO experts do but it seems simple to game the system if you've a mind to.... Sometimes I've either got no work or too much work. Feast or Famine! Anyway I've slept better and plan a quiet self indulgent weekend. Today looks manageable. Just need break from screens and tech now my new phone's all set up (that I bought for a project that closed 5 minutes before I had chance to start working on after hours of setup 😂). Wishing everyone on SF a lovely day.

 

[Lane]

I'm doing OK. I've been having a tough time lately feeling totally overworked - a consequence of having 2 very different jobs and trying to manage both. Also anxiety about whether either job has any long term future so trying to future proof both while monitoring other opps. Had some issues with websites I use to get work dropping off the face of Google so have been doing mad SEO which seems to be helping. Got a bit obssessive changing one word on pages, re-subbing to Google and seeing the position change. Ironically I can get a site from page 2 to page 1 or vice versa by changing one word, god knows what the SEO experts do but it seems simple to game the system if you've a mind to.... Sometimes I've either got no work or too much work. Feast or Famine! Anyway I've slept better and plan a quiet self indulgent weekend. Today looks manageable. Just need break from screens and tech now my new phone's all set up (that I bought for a project that closed 5 minutes before I had chance to start working on after hours of setup 😂). Wishing everyone on SF a lovely day.

Thanks for the well wishes Avid. You seem to be working very hard and I'm glad that you have the weekend to relax. I do hope that one or both of the jobs ensure a bright future for you.

 

[Pebble mouse]

I am experiencing a really bad episode right now. It's been ongoing since the afternoon. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.

 

[full]

I am experiencing a really bad episode right now. It's been ongoing since the afternoon. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.

I am sorry you are feeling bad now and sending good vibes your way it gets better soon and strenght to keep on going

 

[Bergerac]

feeling worthless and useless, and not valued

 

[full]

feeling worthless and useless, and not valued

Mostly seeing you in chat and you are valuable and worthy.

 

[1964dodge]

thanks, Mike
Hope you're well.

you're welcome, and i'm doing well thank you for asking

mike.....

 

[1964dodge]

Thanks to those that said \i'm not a failure, but knowing myself i am. If i had been a better mother my sons wouldn't be struggling so much. My older doesn't talk much. I called him tonight, and when he does open up it means something. He said '''I'm thinking of living out of my car, I cant make it work'' like the rest of humanity, the majority are suffering with rising costs of housing and groceries and taxes on everything higher. I told him my plan is to cut my disability off at the end of next month. I don't care about the money, I always wanted my sons to have whatever I might end up with. My disability doesn't allow me to just give it away, I already did with what I was allowed to keep for myself, so fuck it all, I'm telling her to cut me off. Then when I reapply my psychiatrist is understanding, I'm sure he can convince them I wasn't myself at the time and did it because of my depression and concern for my sons. My worker already said I cant gift money and they'll look at every dollar i spend. I dont care. My sons lives matter more. I dont want to be around at 65 when I wont afford a place at all, I want to see them get some help. He has debt he cant help, so at least that will be off of his shoulders, and my younger is struggling in a dump of a room on welfare that doesn't give him enough at all to survive. I fell, my arm hurts. I took something for stomach pain. I'm just sick of my life amounting to nothing. What will make me happy is my sons seeing a bit of a better future for themselves. It's not a lot, but enough to get them on a better road than they are on now. i want to see my grandson. I'm going to tell my younger there's money for him but only if he gets of his arse and gets a job.

i understand your frustration but it's a bad idea to stop disability if you need it. your chldren need you a lot more than your money. adult children eventually stand on their own 2 feet but it takes time, once they are doing well they still need advixce of a parent once in a while. i think your money would make more of a difference later in life when they are responsible enough to know how to make the money really help.

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Pretty blah and worried, also maybe still in a bit of shock about my sis moving so much further away in about a month and a half. I might have gotten the news about “where” they’ll be moving to a couple weeks ago now (same day I first started feeling sick) but ya I really think I’m still in shock about it. Feels like a very big and overwhelming change and I just really wish there was a way to “know” that my mom, kitty and I will all be ok no matter what happens.

I’m too afraid of death and there are lots of things I like about life but ya this is definitely making me feel very afraid and worried about our future. Just don’t know what to do right now I guess. Feeling tired of feeling so restless too. Trying as always to stay positive and hopeful about things but it is very challenging with these changes right now.

major changes can be very stressful but i know you are strong enough to get through this. maybe you can start planning a vist now so it won't seem as such a seperation

mike...

 

[1964dodge]

Loser

you are not a loser

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

I am experiencing a really bad episode right now. It's been ongoing since the afternoon. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.

i hope you can get through this soon

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

feeling worthless and useless, and not valued

from what i have seen so far you are not worthless or useless, you help others here so it shows that you have empathy, so you are valued here

mike....

 

[JMG]

Tysm for your kind words of caring, comfort and compassion (the 3 C’s? Lol jk sorry weird mood I guess) @Lane and @1964dodge I truly and deeply appreciate everything you both said I will take both of your advice deeply to heart to help me feel reassured and hopeful about things at this time. I hope you are right (Lane) that it will only make me be closer with my sis, it is hard to see that right now with the negative influence of her harsh, critical and indifferent husband, but even the very idea that we could ever become “closer” again is like the softest, most comforting possible cushion for my mind right now. I want that so much and miss being closer with her.

You’re right (Mike) too about it potentially helping to plan when we might be able to go and visit them once they have moved to their new place in June. It does look truly stunning (both the house, street/area and view too!) so ya I am excited and happy “for them” just wishing so much that it didn’t have to be so far away from us. Oh well though, just the way it is I guess. At least they aren’t moving to the other side of the country! This way they’re at least still “in the same province” as us

 

[1964dodge]

doing pretty good today. we took our 64 dodge out for a few hours today. tomorrow my son is coming to adjust the brakes and replace transmission lines. we have a bunch of work to start getting her cleaned up for winter storage as well

mike

 

[AvidFan]

I am experiencing a really bad episode right now. It's been ongoing since the afternoon. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.

Hope you get through this

 

[Windhover]

@Pebble mouse
I hope the episode stopped, you're asleep or you have gotten some good sleep, and will feel better and peaceful today.

Sending hugs.

 

[Lane]

feeling worthless and useless, and not valued

I don't think you're any of those things Bergerac.

 

[Lane]

Trying to deal with stress. Taking lots of deep breaths. Going to watch a new series I found on Hulu to try to unwind.