How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Survivorist]

I do not know what happened, but since some weeks its getting better and better. The first time since March this year . I do my gym every day, I walk really long distance every day (Nordic walking), I feel free, light, sleep more often well (minimum 3 hours, but ok), stopped to smoke, to drink, take care of myself, reduce medication. My apartment is completely clean... So, I hope I can keep this until I leave on 02.01 for 6 weeks to Africa. Will be nice to be in the tropics again - its just the time when the cashew-apples are ripe. You can just pick them up beside the road.... I know (live long experience) that this will not last - and a deep fall is unavoidable. But maybe I can stay on top of little while. Lets hope.

Ziguinchor and Cap Skirring - the only place I know, where Christians and Muslims live in peace. Very special area. Only 7 KM to Guinea Bissau Border (very nice walk....)

 

[Survivorist]

@LumberJack
Man, you are so right with what you wrote!! Respect. We all find our way - but it takes time. Very good input.

 

[Bergerac]

Grateful to have a lovely friend like Justin @JDot , to talk to, every day.

 

[Atreides]

appreciative of my homeboy @Lifeisthis and my homegirl @Bergerac

 

[Bergerac]

appreciative of my homeboy @Lifeisthis and my homegirl @Bergerac

 

[Lane]

Relieved.
Also worried about my neighbor. Usually he rides his motorbike up and down the sidewalk in front of my house. Last night he was riding in the street and had a bad crash. It sounded horrifying and his bike is mangled beyond recognition, he will not be ok but I hope he makes it through.

I get sad when I hear about a young person getting hurt or worse. I hope your neighbor pulls through. 🙏

 

[Lane]

On another note, my stepdad has been drinking almost daily, and my mom has grown to resent him for it. He lies to her about his drunkenness all the time, hides his booze, drives drunk, and they argue about it constantly, but that hasn't seemed to stop him. Every time he leaves the house, he buys more. She's ready to throw him out at this point, but he won't leave on his own and she doesn't want to deal with the cops if they were to get involved, which I do understand, as I don't like dealing with them either. He got into a car accident yesterday evening, and my mom saw him drunk again earlier that morning, but for some reason the cops didn't find any alcohol in his system so he got off scot-free., My mom says she would have been thrilled if he was finally locked up and out of her life. And I'm just worried about her because this is extra stress that she doesn't need. She already has high blood pressure. I just wish he'd either stop drinking or get out of our lives. He was never my favorite person, but if he were to stop drinking at least, and my mom was happy, I'd deal with him being here. But he clearly doesn't want to stop, and I feel bad for my mom that she doesn't know what to expect from him next.

Sorry for what you and your Mom are going through Aurelia. How old is your father? Is divorce out of the question? I ask because my foster father was a nasty drunk and my sister helped her get a divorce, which didn't stop him from following us but at least he wasn't in the house anymore.

 

[1964dodge]

Thank you 1964dodge.

Mikaela

you're welcome

mike.....

 

[1964dodge]

Go figure, I slept the whole night through in the hospital, but I haven't been able to sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time at home. Now I wonder if it's just the environment that frightens me, maybe, since I don't feel that same fear elsewhere.

My mother is worried because I can't eat solid food yet. She's acting like I'm going to die, which no doubt has destroyed my mood also. "How long can you survive without food?" she asks me. Long enough that not eating for a few days won't hurt me. They're keeping me on liquids for now so that eating doesn't cause me more pain. It's not about dying. I'm going to be fine and eat again eventually. This is just the standard treatment for a Crohn's flare up. My grandmother couldn't eat when she died so now my mom is using that situation to worry about mine. But it's not the same. Whatever I say doesn't matter though. She still goes on worrying and doesn't listen. I wish I could just be calm enough about it for the both of us, but it's hard.

tell your mom that you are fillowing your doctors orders

mike.......

 

[1964dodge]

I feel sick and dizzy.

i hope you feel better today

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Sad.

i'm sorry that you feel sad

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

I have a bad tension headache & I'm tired.

 

[1964dodge]

I feel nothing, and I have felt like this for a long time. I am going on holiday to Mauritius in a few weeks and I am not even excited.

hopefully things will improve and you can feel excited soon

mike,,,,,

 

[1964dodge]

Not sleeping. Anticipatimg the switch back 16 hours, maybe. Wondering how I as a failed and crappy person can ever find peace.

you are not a failed and crappy person

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

My blood pressure is back to normal now after the Klonopin withdrawal, which means I'm officially off. Though I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the urge to take it again when I start feeling anxious. But it's just something I'm going to have to learn to avoid I suppose, because if I take it once, I'm going to want to take it again. I hadn't really thought this far ahead when I decided to come off of it. And I'm still not smoking either.

 

[1964dodge]

Happy.

 

[1964dodge]

Woke up feeling a little bit upset

 

[1964dodge]

Tired of everything. Just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

that will happen soon, just be patient and try to enjoy life while waiting

mike.......

 

[1964dodge]

I just got home Lane today. And yes it was an astounding place. And I think I took about 500 pictures, probably more. When I get my head back on I’ll be sharing some of them👍🏽
Thanks!

i;m super happy that you enjoyed your vaca


mike.....

 

[1964dodge]

I'm worried I will let everyone down, no matter what I do