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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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Surviving. Very poor sleep last night but currently seem to be experiencing only the fallout from the insomnia - the intense anxiety and panic episodes caused by the medication rebound seem to be in the rearview mirror. I still get quite shaky if a stressor emerges, but am having moments of calm too. Sleep is usually the last thing to reset, I hope I can get some sleep soon as I'm running on empty, but somehow still going.
Not a lot to say. I took one extra pill last night to try to get sleep, I'm in a bad habit though of getting to sleep late and not waking up until 10 am. It's summer yet so I should be up at 7 or 8, get out and enjoy it. I thought about going in the evening, renting a motel room, at a nice beach. The price of motels around here is absolutely crazy. In a beautiful tropical place it's half the price as here, it makes no sense. I'm tired of taking over the counter stuff for pain, but my doctor leaves me no choice. I also don't understand, if they are labelling this lump as malignant, and a liposarcoma is, why am I seeing a general surgeon, and no biopsy first? I'm not a dramatic person, but with enough googling of these issues I have combined, the synovial lymph node is swollen and sore, my constipation makes sense if it spread. I'm a little bit nervous that I'm not getting proper treatment.
Stressed over financial viability. I’m also dealing with pain, but it is mild compared to what you described, @Reality.
That said, it is my experience that the patient is tasked with keeping watch over their own care. Thanks to for-profit healthcare in the USA, most providers are staffed with a skeleton crew that can barely deal with the insurance headaches, let alone have anyone who oversees the cases for individual patients.
That said, it is my experience that the patient is tasked with keeping watch over their own care. Thanks to for-profit healthcare in the USA, most providers are staffed with a skeleton crew that can barely deal with the insurance headaches, let alone have anyone who oversees the cases for individual patients.
Are you referring to that same medication that was putting you in a bind several months back? I don’t remember what it was but you were talking it for sleep and trying to taper off. It wasn’t a benzo but
seemed to have very similar rebound effects.
If it’s any consolation, I slept pretty poorly last night. Sleep quality was very very good, but I was only able to stay in bed for 5.5 hours, and probably only had 4 hours max of being asleep.
Now I’m so groggy that I can’t do anything that requires any use of my working memory. I can walk and talk and even hold myself upright if I’m paying enough attention, but trying to fix up my self promotion to potential recruiters is not happening.
I’m super foggy and I keep forgetting what I’m doing. It’s similar to that thing where you walk into a room and don’t remember in the slightest what you went in for, except I can be in the middle of a task and I forget what I’m doing mid-stream. I tried to lie down but then I am restless. I did do some sitting meditation and still feel like my brain is trying to solve every problem except the one at hand.
seemed to have very similar rebound effects.
If it’s any consolation, I slept pretty poorly last night. Sleep quality was very very good, but I was only able to stay in bed for 5.5 hours, and probably only had 4 hours max of being asleep.
Now I’m so groggy that I can’t do anything that requires any use of my working memory. I can walk and talk and even hold myself upright if I’m paying enough attention, but trying to fix up my self promotion to potential recruiters is not happening.
I’m super foggy and I keep forgetting what I’m doing. It’s similar to that thing where you walk into a room and don’t remember in the slightest what you went in for, except I can be in the middle of a task and I forget what I’m doing mid-stream. I tried to lie down but then I am restless. I did do some sitting meditation and still feel like my brain is trying to solve every problem except the one at hand.
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Oh no! I know that feeling. It seems like such a good idea at the time, and once it’s in me - my digestive system starts to sneer and say with a menacing grin, “oh, look what we did. Now we’re going to have fun with you!”
If it’s heartburn, Pepto usually helps, but if it’s just feeling like Sigourney Weaver in Aliens when the pivotal injury is imminent (sorry but I’m trying to not give spoilers) - then I can do little more than wait. Sometimes lying down is more comfortable.
FWIW - Burger King is usually worth it, lol! I’m partial to them over Wendy’s and McD’s - but that’s a very low bar!
If it’s heartburn, Pepto usually helps, but if it’s just feeling like Sigourney Weaver in Aliens when the pivotal injury is imminent (sorry but I’m trying to not give spoilers) - then I can do little more than wait. Sometimes lying down is more comfortable.
FWIW - Burger King is usually worth it, lol! I’m partial to them over Wendy’s and McD’s - but that’s a very low bar!
I was still tapering off it but then ended up taking diazepam rescue doses intermittently during the last few months - thought I'd got away with it but turns out I'd thrown myself back into a severe rebound with it. Then took propranolol as a safe option and that caused havoc as well. Ironically after tapering the other stuff (amitriptyline) for ages I ended up reinstating a full dose just to try to get some sleep and stability - I'll hopefully be able to drop back to the taper dose over a few weeks now I'm hopefully coming out of the worst of it, and throw the diazepam away.
My heartrate shot right up after getting an email. I wish I had someone irl to talk it over with, but it's a really nasty piece of work laying out blame on me for everything. I might have listened to this a few years ago and taken it to heart, the way I did with pretty much everything he told me about myself. Now, I feel like if I read it all the way through I'm gonna lose all the progress I've made in the last few months.
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Amitryptyline was the one I was thinking of. Gosh, I am so sad that it’s that hard for you. Even at my worst, a good workout will be helpful and maybe even enough when I am consistent with it day by day. And yet, you might as well be training for a marathon as much distance as you run, but even that is not enough.
I’m familiar with the benzo rebound effect. I’m thinking of my experience with multiple meds in that class. The diazepam was the second worst, but a very distant second after ****ing Xanax, holy cow! Clonazepam was better but it was too sedating. Ativan was the easiest to manage and in hindsight I think it was because it was also helping with my chronic pain, hence better sleep at night. I don’t know why my psychiatrists over time were so partial to the Xanax, but maybe they were trying to create a tacit incentive to push me to find non-drug alternatives.
BTW, the proliferation of these drugs was due to a panic disorder that was even making it scary to drive. It’s not as much of a bother now. Ironically, getting help with my ADHD, including stimulant medication, has all but eliminated my panic attacks.
I just realized that meds have different names among countries. Xanax = alprazolam; Ativan = lorezapam.
I’m familiar with the benzo rebound effect. I’m thinking of my experience with multiple meds in that class. The diazepam was the second worst, but a very distant second after ****ing Xanax, holy cow! Clonazepam was better but it was too sedating. Ativan was the easiest to manage and in hindsight I think it was because it was also helping with my chronic pain, hence better sleep at night. I don’t know why my psychiatrists over time were so partial to the Xanax, but maybe they were trying to create a tacit incentive to push me to find non-drug alternatives.
BTW, the proliferation of these drugs was due to a panic disorder that was even making it scary to drive. It’s not as much of a bother now. Ironically, getting help with my ADHD, including stimulant medication, has all but eliminated my panic attacks.
I just realized that meds have different names among countries. Xanax = alprazolam; Ativan = lorezapam.
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Damn. F- him! I know it’s easy to feel trapped by him, but it’s not impossible to get out from under his ongoing troublemaking.
I’m still struggling with my own past, and I want to emphasize that it takes much more than resolve to figure out the steps to take to mitigate it.
Just in my case, I am doing my best to start with acknowledging the very real damage that was done to me. From acknowledgment and even honestly taking stock of what I really lost, I hope to process it through the grief process that I am too familiar with already. We can’t change the past so what happened will always be with us. However, I am at least optimistic that we can heal such that it doesn’t also paralyze us and rob the present of its potential for joy and contentment.
I’m still struggling with my own past, and I want to emphasize that it takes much more than resolve to figure out the steps to take to mitigate it.
Just in my case, I am doing my best to start with acknowledging the very real damage that was done to me. From acknowledgment and even honestly taking stock of what I really lost, I hope to process it through the grief process that I am too familiar with already. We can’t change the past so what happened will always be with us. However, I am at least optimistic that we can heal such that it doesn’t also paralyze us and rob the present of its potential for joy and contentment.