How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[crowgarden]

ugly. so damm ugly. sometimes i really just wanna tear my face off.

 

[Lane]

I'm in pain, and so lonely that every slightly solid object is starting to look like a method to me.

Please stay safe @LumberJack and know that you are cared about here. Also, try not to lose faith that things will get better. Hope you dont mind me saying that.

 

[Lane]

I disagree. While it seems that way your happiness is important to me and others here. Have a better week because YOU deserve it

Thank you S. I hope life is treating you ok.

 

[Congratsbaby]

ugly. so damm ugly. sometimes i really just wanna tear my face off.

I hope you can feel beautiful. I heard beauty is a feeling.

 

[chiastic_slide]

Trying to fight the apathy

 

[Angie]

Do you need medical help, or is it just that if you did need medical help, you wouldn't be able to get it?

I do need medical attention. My nurse is screaming at me to go to ER. Problem is, I can get an ambulance there, but I've no way to get home.

Even today, Tuesday, Feb. 3rd, the parking lot where I live is 6 inches of solid ice.

FML

 

[LumberJack]

Please stay safe @LumberJack and know that you are cared about here. Also, try not to lose faith that things will get better. Hope you dont mind me saying that.

I don’t mind you saying that at all. I know that my feelings change so I try not to act on them impulsively. My success rate is around 30% but it is improving…

At the same time, I still feel pretty much the same this morning.

I don’t matter. I’m trying and trying but it’s all I can do to slow the rate at which I deteriorate.

 

[AvidFan]

Not bad today. One person in one job really messed me around, but things have gone quiet for a little while, so am now back working my other job as well. Joys of being a contractor doing flexible work on various platforms, I can choose when I work at least, mostly, apart from meetings with clients and the upper echelons who hold purse strings 😆 Also got out for a run earlier.

 

[1Lefty]

Like I need to cry, there is a lot of stress, good and bad. I can feel the build up, and I want to release it, to have a good, cleansing cry. I don't know why I can't, I suspect medication (antidepressants and a mood stabilizer) may be a part of it. I suppose it will happen when it happens, just hoping that it's not at an inopportune or inappropriate time, triggered by something small. I've been reliving misunderstandings, some recent, some not. Unproductive, but still it's there, and generally reminds me of my faults, shortcomings and bad choices.

But otherwise, things are ok. I'm with someone who loves me. I have shelter, food when I want it, and I'm in fairly good health for my age. I could be more active, but we've planned to start walking for exercise.

peace

 

[cymbele]

Little to no pain now after a rough start to the morning. Today The doctor gave me some mild pain medicine to help me but I don’t need it now. Maybe after my walk which is next on my agenda. Hopefully this will work out.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Foolish.

 

[may71]

I do need medical attention. My nurse is screaming at me to go to ER. Problem is, I can get an ambulance there, but I've no way to get home.

Do you want to start a thread about this? We may be able to think of a way for you to get back from the hospital. No guarantees it would work, but I don't think it would hurt. Like I can think of a couple things right now, but I'm holding off on mentioning them because I don't want to make unsolicited suggestions.

It's also ok if you don't want something like this. I hope things can get better soon.

 

[may71]

Sending hugs to anyone who would like hugs

 

[AmberMarie]

i am a mixed bag of pretty good and feeling like shit.

 

[Angie]

Do you want to start a thread about this? We may be able to think of a way for you to get back from the hospital. No guarantees it would work, but I don't think it would hurt. Like I can think of a couple things right now, but I'm holding off on mentioning them because I don't want to make unsolicited suggestions.

It's also ok if you don't want something like this. I hope things can get better soon.

Thanks May, you are kind.

I'll work something out.

 

[Lane]

I keep rehashing how I left my marriage, how it affected my daughter, how I could have behaved differently. This was almost 30 years ago and I dont think it's healthy. We've moved on.

 

[Windhover]

Glad for awareness of having some choices despite being depressed. I can nudge myself along gently, rather than having black and white thinking to be grateful for some of the bit of strength I had in the past. In particular I'm lucky for not giving my savings away to my partner. If I'd given in to that request I'd be completely up **** creek.

 

[MAC0]

Awake I just slept for a full 24 hours not done that ever in my life I used to be able to stay up all night and then be ok the next day and go to bed at a normal time cannot stay awake past 1am now thanks to my meds

 

[AvidFan]

Awake I just slept for a full 24 hours not done that ever in my life I used to be able to stay up all night and then be ok the next day and go to bed at a normal time cannot stay awake past 1am now thanks to my meds

Wow, the most I've ever managed was 18 hours in the early days of Lockdown 2020! I hope it did you some good!

 

[LumberJack]

I feel angry and scared at the same time. My anxiety keeps spiking, and then I start to worry that I am in trouble for something. Then, I realize I am an adult and I don’t have to be afraid of that. Then, I feel angry because that brings up past memories where my failure to watch out for that resulted in me getting hurt. That shouldn’t happen to anyone. Not an adult, not a child. Even criminals are given the chance to tell their side of the story. Punishing any human being without telling them so much as why, let alone giving a single warning, is flat out cruelty!!!