Tired of being stuck in a depression or whatever this is. People in this situation shouldn't be sad about losing a bad relationship, it's expected to be a relief and a fresh start. So I'm unable to defend this sadness as its the wrong reaction. It makes others uncomfortable. I suppose if one runs out of energy to maintain a mask, then death starts looking as a less painful choice.
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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I believe in the motto, "feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are". It takes a while to get over a relationship, including a bad one. A therapist once told me how long for a bad relationship, but I think it may be longer than a normal one, if that makes sense.
Please try not to be hard on yourself @seabird. You have much to offer the world.
Please try not to be hard on yourself @seabird. You have much to offer the world.
Hey , ahm you liked it so I would say it. But if you are / were not looking for it , it's obviously alright and you can not read this.
I think the world can put a lot of labels on everything , right , wrong , this, that. Which is not necessarily bad but I think a lot of things are also just stereotypical.
If your ex partner was not good , does that mean your feelings can turn off like a light switch? No , right because you liked / loved them once and I don't think feelings work like light switch.
Though , I understand the guilt , probably the inner shame and disappointment too for still caring / liking / loving / thinking about it. It's only human and natural.
Grief has no time line , it's not linear. And you're worthy regardless ( from within , inherently as human and how you see yourself ). Yea..
😅 I don't wanna come off as entitled so let me know if I overdo it anywhere.
I think the world can put a lot of labels on everything , right , wrong , this, that. Which is not necessarily bad but I think a lot of things are also just stereotypical.
If your ex partner was not good , does that mean your feelings can turn off like a light switch? No , right because you liked / loved them once and I don't think feelings work like light switch.
Though , I understand the guilt , probably the inner shame and disappointment too for still caring / liking / loving / thinking about it. It's only human and natural.
Grief has no time line , it's not linear. And you're worthy regardless ( from within , inherently as human and how you see yourself ). Yea..
😅 I don't wanna come off as entitled so let me know if I overdo it anywhere.
Screw whoever it makes uncomfortable. You're not only grieving a bad relationship, you're grieving the relationship you thought/hoped it was or could be. And sadness seems a valid response to that. Of course I wish you didn't feel so sad - but the sadness makes sense. Hugs @seabird and glad you don't need to wear a mask here.
Busy. Got locked into a project and been hard at it for hours. Not sure how as I had a few drinks last night and then didn't sleep as a result... Just decided to take a break, even a little 15 minute walk might clear my head and give my eyes a rest. Got business reality TV treat tonight (Dragons Den anyd Apprentice - one is more "reality" than the other lol but both fun) and also going to finish last night's tasty takeaway - I love justifying the cost by a) I earned plenty this week and b) if it covers 2 nights' meals, it starts to look almost economically sensible 😆
First - I know how that feels. I am in agreement with @Congratsbaby and @AvidFan that the end of a relationship is something that humans naturally grieve. It's the loss of a connection that we had once relied upon. So - who says it should be a relief and a fresh start? What do they know about it?
The one thing I would add, and I hope it doesn't feel like we're dog-piling* on you - is that when I lost my partner I learned a lot about grief. One of the things was that complex grief lasts far longer than uncomplicated grief. Complex grief means you had mixed feelings with regard to the person you lost. For example a person who has a good relationship with one parent, but a difficult one with the other, will experience more grief when they lose the difficult parent. Your relationship must have been complicated because you have had to do so much, and continue to have to work on, rebuilding your sense of self once you've finally escaped from the abuser.
The one thing I would add, and I hope it doesn't feel like we're dog-piling* on you - is that when I lost my partner I learned a lot about grief. One of the things was that complex grief lasts far longer than uncomplicated grief. Complex grief means you had mixed feelings with regard to the person you lost. For example a person who has a good relationship with one parent, but a difficult one with the other, will experience more grief when they lose the difficult parent. Your relationship must have been complicated because you have had to do so much, and continue to have to work on, rebuilding your sense of self once you've finally escaped from the abuser.
Ive come to the realization that my daughter will probably never speak to me again. Im dealing with it much better than years ago. I still cant understand her inability to forgive. The crazy thing is her father was raising her too, but he's not held accountable for whatever it is she believes we did.
@Lane I am sorry for this sill happening. It is a toxin if she is being silent to hurt and punish you while hiding the fact there's some reason beyond the trauma due to your divorce. Legally you are sill a mother and grandmother, but that's really a tough thing to look at as far as your emotions go. There is a lot of energy used in wondering about unanswered questions around a non-functioning relationship when the other adult person is ghosting you. You deserve peace and healing.
(h) if they help.
(h) if they help.
A kind of neutral place in my feelings. I'm eager rather than hopeful. Turning away from parts of myself is a sad kind of change. I have to get past as much of the damage as possible. I can't get home, time or possessions back. After the wreck it all got worse as it triggered a ton of anxiety, but it can change.
Not feeling great fractured my little toe on my right foot walked into my bathroom to wash my hands and walked that foot first into the box the bathtub is built in to not sure why not like its a new bath or anything so why I walked into it like that is anyone's guess hurts like hell pain killers only do so much doc says it will be ok long term
Same as what @Angie said above, take good care and rest @FlamingoWrangler. I was just writing about masks and AvidFan pointed out not using masks here. It's rue that afaik SF is going to completely support you in a safe way. I'm sorry you're feeling shame it's the worst.
Best healthy get well soon to you.
Best healthy get well soon to you.
Thank you @Angie & @seabird
I have thrown away all the masks. My brother is immunocompromised and uses them. But it is rare to see a 😷 unless you’re at a cancer center.
The roommate was in a few schools ~Cootie factories. After a few days he said it felt like covid. I found the swabs that test for COVID, flus A & B. I had the vaccine a few months ago and still got it. 🙄
I have thrown away all the masks. My brother is immunocompromised and uses them. But it is rare to see a 😷 unless you’re at a cancer center.
The roommate was in a few schools ~Cootie factories. After a few days he said it felt like covid. I found the swabs that test for COVID, flus A & B. I had the vaccine a few months ago and still got it. 🙄
