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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
i hope this disgusting world burns. every corner of this planet is infested with hatred, agony and terror. why anyone is still clinging to this horrid existence is beyond me. i'll run into death's arms the moment i get the chance. i can't bear to walk among all these monsters. i never could. i'm sickened by it all. by everything above and below. death is my only way.
Feeling unsteady even though I've had some better moments this week. It's incredibly frustrating it is to be battling, for lack of a better word at the moment, with my emotions and thoughts about certain things. Though I understand a lot more after reading the book about dopamine, it's not going to fix any of my problems to continue to intellectualize about them. I need to be somewhere else.
frustrated, sad, tired, and ready to give up. I'm going to take a break to watch netflix on the elliptical in the gym. At least I get exercise that way, and I gained fully 10 lbs (yech) over the holidays, so now I'm back to 20 over my goal weight. Very disappointed with myself but getting back on the horse.
Also apparently not maintaining a steady train of thought. I must have forgotten to take my noon med for ADHD. I hate being this dependent on meds, but it's better than not having meds and feeling this way 24/7. I guess really it's that I'm ashamed of the fact I need them in the first place, and everyone just assumes I'm a drug-seeker when I.really.benefit.from.them - whether you think ADHD is a real thing or not, I have these symptoms, and the meds help. I am way past college age and I suck at anything criminal so I'm damn sure not selling them. People need to get off their high horses in my opinion.
Also apparently not maintaining a steady train of thought. I must have forgotten to take my noon med for ADHD. I hate being this dependent on meds, but it's better than not having meds and feeling this way 24/7. I guess really it's that I'm ashamed of the fact I need them in the first place, and everyone just assumes I'm a drug-seeker when I.really.benefit.from.them - whether you think ADHD is a real thing or not, I have these symptoms, and the meds help. I am way past college age and I suck at anything criminal so I'm damn sure not selling them. People need to get off their high horses in my opinion.
I hope it gets better for you. I have heard holidays make you gain weight and stuff , that made sense to me. People are always gonna judge , though it only makes sense that it affects you. Yes , you're going through real stuff and I hope you remember it. If you would like to share , are you taking fentanyl? ( I have heard people use that as drug for YK getting high lol , but yes I think it's medically used for adhd )
If you're taking that , people should put focus on the systems that have created so much stress that people are leaning towards such drugs and towards the people who are actually getting high using them , instead of the ones who are using it as treatment. But , they won't 🤓
If you're taking that , people should put focus on the systems that have created so much stress that people are leaning towards such drugs and towards the people who are actually getting high using them , instead of the ones who are using it as treatment. But , they won't 🤓
I do not use fentanyl and I'm not aware of any application of that drug to ADHD management. It's a pain medication (an opioid but entirely synthetic as opposed to drugs like hydrocodone and oxycodone that are partially derived from opium poppy extracts). I have heard of some drugs used off-label to treat childhood ADHD, but not opiates.
I do take a stimulant, namely adderall, to manage my ADHD. It's the only one I can take because strattera had intolerable side effects despite being the only non-stimulant approved for adult ADHD. The other is methylphenidate which is also a stimulant, however I find the methylphenidate to be quite effective at causing euphoria. I don't trust myself not to end up abusing that. Adderall by contrast is about as rewarding/abusable to me as fluoxetine is. That said, some people can get high on adderall, leading to the general social stigma. It's always the people who misuse a drug getting attention; people who safely use a given controlled med far outnumber them, but they never end up on the news so people who don't have a sense of context just assume anyone is like the ones who fake a condition to get a script to either sell on the street or get high on themselves.
Agreed. I have recently been pointed to a psychologist who is skeptical that ADHD is truly a disorder, but merely a different learning style. ADHD diagnosed kids (and I guess adults who get a later diagnosis) are actually those who learn best by taking information in through tactile sensation as opposed to visual or auditory input. Unfortunately, childhood schooling only provides visual and auditory information (aside from art classes if they are still offered), leading to the tactile leaning kids becoming bored or just falling asleep - then they get diagnosed with a disorder. I suspect because pharmaceutical intervention is so much easier than helping a kid learn according to their individual strengths (but I'm not bitter, lol!). That describes me to a T - I choose my clothing based on texture, and although I got pretty good grades, almost every teacher put a note on my report cards about sleeping in class. I also have a much easier time picking up skills that primarily involve using my hands and sometimes I even close my eyes and just use tactile sense to keep the visual part from interfering.
I do take a stimulant, namely adderall, to manage my ADHD. It's the only one I can take because strattera had intolerable side effects despite being the only non-stimulant approved for adult ADHD. The other is methylphenidate which is also a stimulant, however I find the methylphenidate to be quite effective at causing euphoria. I don't trust myself not to end up abusing that. Adderall by contrast is about as rewarding/abusable to me as fluoxetine is. That said, some people can get high on adderall, leading to the general social stigma. It's always the people who misuse a drug getting attention; people who safely use a given controlled med far outnumber them, but they never end up on the news so people who don't have a sense of context just assume anyone is like the ones who fake a condition to get a script to either sell on the street or get high on themselves.
Agreed. I have recently been pointed to a psychologist who is skeptical that ADHD is truly a disorder, but merely a different learning style. ADHD diagnosed kids (and I guess adults who get a later diagnosis) are actually those who learn best by taking information in through tactile sensation as opposed to visual or auditory input. Unfortunately, childhood schooling only provides visual and auditory information (aside from art classes if they are still offered), leading to the tactile leaning kids becoming bored or just falling asleep - then they get diagnosed with a disorder. I suspect because pharmaceutical intervention is so much easier than helping a kid learn according to their individual strengths (but I'm not bitter, lol!). That describes me to a T - I choose my clothing based on texture, and although I got pretty good grades, almost every teacher put a note on my report cards about sleeping in class. I also have a much easier time picking up skills that primarily involve using my hands and sometimes I even close my eyes and just use tactile sense to keep the visual part from interfering.
I am feeling like my time is coming soon. There is so much wrong with me and more keeps turning up. But trying to see a doctor is almost impossible. Especially a specialist. The doctor I will see on the 2nd I have been waiting 6 months to see and she is just a regular MD. It is just so tempting to use my method to end it all. But still need to get my taxes done. That will be next Saturday. At least I am expecting a refund to pay for shit. Meanwhile I will keep praying for God to call me home. I know there are many people in worse shape then I am. I don't know how they endure it.
