How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[crowgarden]

lost. these past few months have felt so strange. I've changed in so many ways (mostly for the worse) that I barely feel like myself anymore. granted, I never did. but this is different.

I don't know how to describe it. there's so much that I want to say but the words elude me. my head is so full of noise but there doesn't seem to be a single thought that I can grasp.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'm tired.

 

[Windhover]

@crowgarden The words you wrote convey, at least from my perspective that you've been under stress or depression for a while, and are overwhelmed. I'm so sorry it's like this. Sending hope your self can find a way to settle into a safe emotional/mental place.

Just please take care to eat and stay hydrated, and hopefully sleep too.

 

[アオト]

Sick again...

 

[KM76710]

Sick again...

I hope that you get to feeling better soon.

 

[KM76710]

I volunteered at the church at their Kidbridge program in the classroom last week. I like being around children especially since I havent met me 2 year old grandson. The catch is, they gave me a letter/contract to sign in which you are not to have relations outside of marriage. I hope its ok to post this here. Im a 57 year old engaged lady with four kids for crying out loud.

I dont think its fair or right for anyone to dictate how I live. So Im torn between signing it or not. I really would like to help out in sunday mornings. Any input is welcome. Thanks SF friends.

I agree with the others. There are so many other places that would love to have you helping out with the kids. Your conflict on the contract is understandable. I have no doubt the people coming up with the contract have their own sins, all humans do.

 

[cymbele]

My car was struck while parked by a woman who admitted she didn’t look. This was a few weeks ago. She was honest enough to admit that she was at fault and that she and her insurance company opened up a claim. But at this time the insurance company estimates at about 70% of what the repair shop would cost. My rental period on a rental car is almost over so I might have to pay for the car rental if I repair the car at another company or come up with a couple of hundred dollars to pay for the repair where it is at. Can’t seem to get a break. Maybe I should find a job and come out of retirement.

 

[I_waste_everything]

Mad at myself for, when I notice something seems and feels wrong, for pushing it to the back and/or bottom of my mind until someone else points it out. Gullible, sheep jerk I am.

This is a big breakthrough to (FINALLY!) admit somewhere about myself. But I reserve the right to be appalled and angry at me for it on that first realization-admission (for all I yet know I've noticed this about myself before but pushed that down, too.)

 

[ClassicsFan]

Tired.

 

[I_waste_everything]

Sick again...

I'm sorry, Marco. As someone who was just sick myself- and still has some holdover symptoms- I'm bidding you a thorough & speedy recovery. & that the sickness pays you back for your trouble by sending you something good in the process, like some existentially revelatory fever dream. That happened for me.

 

[アオト]

I'm sorry, Marco. As someone who was just sick myself- and still has some holdover symptoms- I'm bidding you a thorough & speedy recovery. & that the sickness pays you back for your trouble by sending you something good in the process, like some existentially revelatory fever dream. That happened for me.

aaaaaaah, Thaaaanks, this is just the flu. I'll probably be fine tomorrow. It happens quite often to me haha

 

[アオト]

Mad at myself for, when I notice something seems and feels wrong, for pushing it to the back and/or bottom of my mind until someone else points it out. Gullible, sheep jerk I am.

This is a big breakthrough to (FINALLY!) admit somewhere about myself. But I reserve the right to be appalled and angry at me for it on that first realization-admission (for all I yet know I've noticed this about myself before but pushed that down, too.)

I can relate to you to some extent.
Sometimes things are worth mentioning and sometimes not so much. Please don't be hard on yourself for that.
Maybe consider being more open about those things that you may think are wrong or feel bad. Sometimes even saying that something seems wrong feels wrong, but don't let that feeling pull you back, especially if it's something you strongly disagree with or relates to you or someone else needing help.
I don't know if I expressed myself well there...
I wish you the best <3

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I am frightened and frustrated. My psychiatrist put me on an antedepressant that looks to interfere with my blood thinner. I have an appointment later today with my primary doctor and hope that she can tell me for sure.

Having many doctors (which is how it seems US healthcare is these days) is difficult!

How did the appointment go?
It is awful to think meds caused the TIA. It has the potential for a quick fix. 🤞 (adjusting meds). If you have a pharmacist that will explain meds, questions & interactions, use them. They will call your dr about it For you. Healthcare is hard to manage!
I hope you got some answers at your appointment.
I am sorry this happened. I hope you’re feeling better.

 

[Lane]

I decided not to sign the contract at the church. Thank you so much for the replies. A, I dont like to lie and B, im not a hypocrite. If they ask why ill just tell them I dont appreciate people dictating what I do in my personal time.

 

[LumberJack]

I volunteered at the church at their Kidbridge program in the classroom last week. I like being around children especially since I havent met me 2 year old grandson. The catch is, they gave me a letter/contract to sign in which you are not to have relations outside of marriage. I hope its ok to post this here. Im a 57 year old engaged lady with four kids for crying out loud.

I dont think its fair or right for anyone to dictate how I live. So Im torn between signing it or not. I really would like to help out in sunday mornings. Any input is welcome. Thanks SF friends.

I would feel indignant in the same situation. I totally agree that, unless someone has a reason to be concerned (a parole officer, for example), caring about what you do on your own time is intrusive and unnecessary. It's also not scriptural. The whole "no sex before (or after) marriage" is oppression of women. It imposes a patriarchal structure such that men have authority over what women can do with their bodies, meanwhile male church authorities are running around having affairs and abusing kids - of which I think that far less than half ever get reported. However, I feel like I should not say something is not scriptural without supporting evidence, but maybe you're not up for a theology discussion at the moment, lol.

Spoiler: theology

Jesus never said anything about sexuality. The Biblical view is to get your own sh-t together before you worry about criticizing others (modern paraphrase of the board vs mote verse). I would add to that control. Jesus said whoever is without sin may cast the first stone. The whole anti-sex view came from Paul, who never met JC in the flesh. Instead he had a "vision" that only he had access to. I don't think everything he wrote is nonsense but the whole moral rigidity is at odds with the teachings of Jesus re: mercy, forgiveness, not being judgmental. Further, if Jesus can appear to him, He can appear to me, too. Why do we need some guy whose claim to fame is that he wrote a ton of letters as an intermediary? If Jesus talks to you in private, keep that content private. If you can walk on water or call lightning down from the sky at will, then I would reconsider. I don't think that's happened in the modern age, though. There's half of a shelf in my public library discussing the doctrinal disagreements between Paul and the red letters in the Bible. I've read 6 of them and after you've read 4 there's not anything new anyway. But people who self appointed to authority quoting Paul on issues Jesus didn't touch are, more likely than not, doing so for their own control and power, which they wish to deprive others of.

This is about the entire reason I left my childhood church in the first place. I happen to be gay and that's grounds for excommunication. The same church has been known to engage in activism supporting legislation that restricts the rights of same-sex couples that are fully available to mixed-sex couples. When I was trying to pray the gay away, it flatly did not work. In fact I started to have the sense that God (however we want to conceptualize the source of all existence) is really fine with what I do in private. It's how I treat people that matters.

 

[LumberJack]

...
Having many doctors (which is how it seems US healthcare is these days) is difficult!

I feel you on that! I find it troubling that the pdoc didn't ask you what (non-psych) meds you were on. My APRN who does my med management asks me if there were any med changes outside of his purview at every meeting. As for the potential for interactions, I have had better luck with the pharmacist (as opposed to the tech who runs the retail counter). I think most if not all pharmacies give you the option to chat with the pharmacist when you get a fill. I would bet that you can call the place where you filled the anti-d or simply walk in and ask to speak with the pharmacist. I use Costco pharmacy and it's never been questioned. Sometimes they offer it when I'm not even getting a new med, lol.

 

[LumberJack]

... If you have a pharmacist that will explain meds, questions & interactions, use them. ...I hope you got some answers at your appointment.
I am sorry this happened. I hope you’re feeling better.

Whoops just said the same thing. I didn't see your reply cause @Angie 's post was one page back. If I owe you royalties, pls lmk, okay?

 

[LumberJack]

Ahhhh, just feeling like there's a war inside me. The side that wants me to be healthy vs the self destructive and abusive side. I went to a free yoga class today, because free yoga - I'm there! It was really good and I even made some small talk, which is a lot of progress from the past. I felt good and I felt competent because I held back on talking too much and tried to really listen.

Walking away to go back to my apartment, though, that damn voice gets going in overdrive. "You fucking idiot! Who do you think you are - enjoying yourself? Don't you know you're an unemployed loser who nobody would like if you weren't putting on that act!" There was more profanity but I think this gets the idea across. This time I caught it and just sort of sighed. Disputed it with the "where is the evidence that <proposition> is true?" approach. In this case, where is the evidence that I'm full of sh-t and don't even have my sh-t together? I am not perfect in this regard but it also doesn't define my personality.

I suspect it's my addiction trying to derail me before I can hit five years of no ethanol or cannabis in January. In part my drinking became destructive when I noticed that ethanol shut that damn voice up. Easy fixes are almost always temporary, though, and the voice eventually got even harsher as if to make up for lost time.