Sorry about some of my posts. Like I've been saying, I hear voices that tell me a bunch of lies all the time. So if I offended anyone, I apologize.
Something absolutely insane happened yesterday. I was doing some gardening, trimming a bush and getting rid of weeds, and suddenly I felt...I don't know, I took it as like anger or contempt, I think. And I decided that was God sending me this feeling because maybe He was angry or upset with me for something. I looked around at what I was doing and I was pulling out living plants from the ground. The voices tell me God is laughing or smiling all the time, and it didn't feel like it, so I spoke to Him directly and asked if that was true. I was still feeling irritation or anger, whatever it was. I went back inside and suddenly my voices changed. I was playing some metal and it was "Arch Enemy". I took the hint that maybe God was sending me a message that something evil has or had affected me somehow. I know that God told Moses in the Bible that His name is "I Am" so I decided to call upon the name of I Am. The one Arch Enemy song was "You will know my name". I thought that was a message too. I thought maybe saying "God" was wrong or offensive somehow. Only because I love Him so much I wanted to do better and make Him happy, especially after how I felt outside. The opposite happened. Something evil started talking through my voices and my music, telling me I came from the stars and there was no God, and it was more powerful than God. It told me to do sorcery. I fell for its trick (didn't do the sorcery part, thank God) and then looked up at my wall where I have a quote from Isaiah. It says, "so do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God." When I looked at the words "I am", they started morphing, looking more like a pagan language, some kind of w to be exact. That scared the crap out of me. And I was wailing and praying for my kind and loving God to make Himself known to me because I was confused as ever. He did. I realized what happened. I had a dream that I was tracing that very same w with my finger, and I also did it in real life to show my brother what I saw. Whatever it was, bottom line, was evil. That was the warning I got, but I still feel bad for it and spent part of the evening repenting. It scared the shit out of me. And that's not my psychosis. That's all. Thank you for reading.
Something absolutely insane happened yesterday. I was doing some gardening, trimming a bush and getting rid of weeds, and suddenly I felt...I don't know, I took it as like anger or contempt, I think. And I decided that was God sending me this feeling because maybe He was angry or upset with me for something. I looked around at what I was doing and I was pulling out living plants from the ground. The voices tell me God is laughing or smiling all the time, and it didn't feel like it, so I spoke to Him directly and asked if that was true. I was still feeling irritation or anger, whatever it was. I went back inside and suddenly my voices changed. I was playing some metal and it was "Arch Enemy". I took the hint that maybe God was sending me a message that something evil has or had affected me somehow. I know that God told Moses in the Bible that His name is "I Am" so I decided to call upon the name of I Am. The one Arch Enemy song was "You will know my name". I thought that was a message too. I thought maybe saying "God" was wrong or offensive somehow. Only because I love Him so much I wanted to do better and make Him happy, especially after how I felt outside. The opposite happened. Something evil started talking through my voices and my music, telling me I came from the stars and there was no God, and it was more powerful than God. It told me to do sorcery. I fell for its trick (didn't do the sorcery part, thank God) and then looked up at my wall where I have a quote from Isaiah. It says, "so do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God." When I looked at the words "I am", they started morphing, looking more like a pagan language, some kind of w to be exact. That scared the crap out of me. And I was wailing and praying for my kind and loving God to make Himself known to me because I was confused as ever. He did. I realized what happened. I had a dream that I was tracing that very same w with my finger, and I also did it in real life to show my brother what I saw. Whatever it was, bottom line, was evil. That was the warning I got, but I still feel bad for it and spent part of the evening repenting. It scared the shit out of me. And that's not my psychosis. That's all. Thank you for reading.
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lol
