Perplexed
I've been talking to a woman from a dating app for a year. I was open about my challenges, depression, etc, SA, SI, in-patient, this place. I told her a few days ago that I might be experiencing the manic side of a mood swing. We haven't talked in a few days, after she said she wanted to sort out the "viability" of our involvement. Yeah, ok, not a lot I can do, but I don't understand why this has become an issue now.
And yesterday, I got a message from a woman from a different dating app, after almost 4 months without contact. She thought we should meet, her words were "it's overdue". It wasn't like we had progressed a lot in a cyber connection. I don't know why she approached me again, I was almost curious enough to continue talking, but ......... I ended the conversation, there was nothing to be gained, hooking up is not my priority
peace
I think that, one thing to perhaps consider in the future, and this is all up to & depending on you, for what you do: but? Maybe think about keeping your (mental health) cards a little closer to the vest next time. I guess I don't know how soon you'd begun the reveal, into that one-year time-frame. But, if it was done right out of the gate, in my opinion (& that's all this is, not hardly fact!), you've got to be careful - because, number one--you don't owe them anything, in terms of an explanation. Would it be nice? Yes, it might be. IF they can take & handle it and don't have a negative or pessimistic view on the stigma that attaches itself to mental health.
And that is all going to take a long time to decipher, or get to the bottom of. Because often times, you don't know until a serious situation or scenario presents itself, and forces her to share or show, her cards (or true feelings & beliefs on the matter) to you. Up until then, you may get hints and clues. But with something as serious as suicidality, for instance. That is a whole 'nother level for those not in the know, to digest. And brings up potentially severe controversial opinions. Many or most of which have been formed (already, in the past, prior to meeting you).
So, with all that being said, you can of course feel free to do what you want and think is best. However, just keep in mind that sometimes, the philosophy of "less history, more mystery" is well served in these cases. As you can always tell her tomorrow, or in the future. What you can't do, is put the 'toothpaste back into the tube,' so to speak, and as it were. It's not like you're confessing to being a mass murderer, or serial killer, etc. So again, you don't owe her anything. Beyond Maybe a shortened/very surface description that can temporarily serve as an explanation. Once you reveal all, what you've done is... give her a chance to judge, and pass judgement on you.
So, if you feel confident in your assessment on her feelings of the subject matter (& it is in your favor), then and only then (to me only) would I be willing to disclose all or more of my "case-history," with her. Okay, that's my soliloquy for now. Please know that it was only done in an attempt to help, and not to criticize, or state that anything was done wrong, on your behalf. For I'm on your side
@1Lefty ! (even if it doesn't sound like it..
) Ok? Peace & good luck! You're WAY Ahead of me, in the 'dating-game.'
thank you
