You can try talking to us on here, if you feel that would be helpful - otherwise, have you not tried it yet... sometimes therapy can help. If for no better reason, than to help get these thoughts & things out of your head. And in the case of a professional, hopefully help to process some of them, maybe even correct an inconsistency or two, or simply see where you have viewed or been viewing things in error (for instance, if you are being far too hard on yourself or something)...