How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[nicktheundoer]

Ashamed and worthless, like I will never find my place in life

sorry you're feeling that way..I believe you are already there..you can be happy in the present moment..just breathe in and breathe out deeply..and see that you can be happy right now..a sunrise,sunset,moon,your loved ones..there are so many conditions to be happy rn..HUGSSS..I wish that you could really love yourself deeply..sending love..

 

[nicktheundoer]

I found out someone from college passed away unexpectedly. My instant reaction was why not me. Do I value my life that little? In all honesty I do suffer from depression, stress, anxiety, ill stop there, ha but I don't really want to die. My life is far from perfect but it's mine.

I'm so sorry you feel that way Lane..I used to exactly feel that way. hugssss.. 🫂 🫂

 

[nicktheundoer]

Trying not to be self pitying while also being angry with being me. I am my own worst enemy. I know we need to work at making our lives. But may I say that when I run out of energy pushing a Boulder uphill all alone, it does get lonely and difficult and anxiety provoking. Sorry to be this way.

sorry..you are loved..Hugs.. <3

 

[IDontWantToDie]

sorry you're feeling that way..I believe you are already there..you can be happy in the present moment..just breathe in and breathe out deeply..and see that you can be happy right now..a sunrise,sunset,moon,your loved ones..there are so many conditions to be happy rn..HUGSSS..I wish that you could really love yourself deeply..sending love..

 

[PrincessPure]

Maybe this is more your taste, these days~?*Princess..

it actually is hahaha

 

[PrincessPure]

Happy Birthday @PrincessPure. I hope you can find some happiness on your special day.

thank u so much! it wasnt bad afterall!

 

[Angie]

In an in-between mood. A lot has dwindled to very little. I have no sense of being able to go home. That's why I get suicidal. I hope this changes.

I relate to the feeling of no sense of being able to go home. It hurts. I hope you find a place that fills that hole in your heart.

 

[Astray]

Hello everyone
I was a regular here years ago when I was going through some difficult times. Over the last few years I was in a relationship that was fantastic for about a year before she started to reveal her true self. Manipulative behaviour, gaslighting, taking advantage of my low self-esteem, lying, silent treatment: all the greatest hits. It was always me that was in the wrong, me that had to change. And I did change but it still wasn't enough. I attempted suicide several times over the last few years because she drove me to despair, I have been sectioned and monitored daily by the crisis team. I did eventually realise that no matter what I did, she wasn't going to change her behaviour.

Now every day I am thankful that I am not waking up in fear of what she will do today, what she will blame me for, how she is going to stick a dagger in my heart and then go silent for the rest of the day just to make sure the pain lingers. I am living, for the first time in several years, without this pain, this fear.

So to sum up I am feeling pretty good today. Safe and secure in myself, open to the world and full of love for those around me. I'm lonely but that's okay, I think that will take care of itself in time, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

 

[Pebble mouse]

I am very sad.

My sister's partner passed away this afternoon. She was with him when he went. I feel so sad for my sister. We are very close.

 

[tearsinmycoffee]

Like I just want to disappear. Not die, you understand, but just like...vanish for awhile?

 

[Astray]

Yes I understand

 

[Searchingforhope]

Hello everyone
I was a regular here years ago when I was going through some difficult times. Over the last few years I was in a relationship that was fantastic for about a year before she started to reveal her true self. Manipulative behaviour, gaslighting, taking advantage of my low self-esteem, lying, silent treatment: all the greatest hits. It was always me that was in the wrong, me that had to change. And I did change but it still wasn't enough. I attempted suicide several times over the last few years because she drove me to despair, I have been sectioned and monitored daily by the crisis team. I did eventually realise that no matter what I did, she wasn't going to change her behaviour.

Now every day I am thankful that I am not waking up in fear of what she will do today, what she will blame me for, how she is going to stick a dagger in my heart and then go silent for the rest of the day just to make sure the pain lingers. I am living, for the first time in several years, without this pain, this fear.

So to sum up I am feeling pretty good today. Safe and secure in myself, open to the world and full of love for those around me. I'm lonely but that's okay, I think that will take care of itself in time, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

I’m so glad you are feeling safe and secure in yourself. Wonderful!

 

[Searchingforhope]

I am very sad.

My sister's partner passed away this afternoon. She was with him when he went. I feel so sad for my sister. We are very close.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thinking of your sister and of you. It is hard watching people you love suffer.

 

[Searchingforhope]

Like I just want to disappear. Not die, you understand, but just like...vanish for awhile?

Absolutely. I have wish for this so many times.

 

[tearsinmycoffee]

I also feel really disgusted with myself because I had some really disturbing dreams on Monday night. I've had these dreams before but like...I feel gross every time I have them.

 

[Pebble mouse]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thinking of your sister and of you. It is hard watching people you love suffer.

Thank you.

 

[Lane]

Hello everyone
I was a regular here years ago when I was going through some difficult times. Over the last few years I was in a relationship that was fantastic for about a year before she started to reveal her true self. Manipulative behaviour, gaslighting, taking advantage of my low self-esteem, lying, silent treatment: all the greatest hits. It was always me that was in the wrong, me that had to change. And I did change but it still wasn't enough. I attempted suicide several times over the last few years because she drove me to despair, I have been sectioned and monitored daily by the crisis team. I did eventually realise that no matter what I did, she wasn't going to change her behaviour.

Now every day I am thankful that I am not waking up in fear of what she will do today, what she will blame me for, how she is going to stick a dagger in my heart and then go silent for the rest of the day just to make sure the pain lingers. I am living, for the first time in several years, without this pain, this fear.

So to sum up I am feeling pretty good today. Safe and secure in myself, open to the world and full of love for those around me. I'm lonely but that's okay, I think that will take care of itself in time, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

Welcome back to the forum @Astray and thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad that you are out of the toxic relationship. I hope it can help others to read and and heal from it too. You've been through a lot and I hope that you can continue to feel well without all the negativity hanging over you. Glad to have you back at SF.

 

[Astray]

Thank you for your kind words, everyone

 

[iloverachel]

I am very sad.

My sister's partner passed away this afternoon. She was with him when he went. I feel so sad for my sister. We are very close.

my friend
May he rest in peace

 

[Lane]

Like I just want to disappear. Not die, you understand, but just like...vanish for awhile?

Ive felt like this when I get overwhelmed or very depressed. I hope you feel better soon.