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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Im so glad I don't have to catch the bus. That sounds like a complete nightmare and would feel me with dread. I drive an hour to get to work in the morning, I'd rather that. You are very brave to face that. I hope your rehab is going okay, you need to get back to your running group. I'll sure you will in the coming weeks.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
 

JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
Feeling kinda crappy. Getting better at reacting less to my rejection sensitivity. I'm forced to, because looking for a job rn is brutal. 50% of all the engineers in my field are also looking for work.
Oof, that is brutal to be dealing with. I don't know how long you have been looking but I hope that SOMETHING manifests and opens up for you. And it will be a good fit for you as well.
 
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JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
I just got home. It was going better than I expected when I got through Tuesday unscathed - or so I thought. I finally got through today, not without some hitches, how people forget to turn up to their own meetings I will never know.... I just wanted to get home for my Thursday pizza treat, but I missed my usual bus because of a client delaying me, then bus I did get on was rammed, someone sneezed all over me and there was bottles constantly flying around the bus and down the stairs and then someone with about 25 kids blocking the aisle with all their prams, and by the time I got off I felt I was unravelling inside. I feel full of rage and self pity, despite all the work I've done the money's all gone so it's just more of the same just to stand in one place. I'm tired of it. Now I just need to wait for my pizza and hopefully decompress. I've just got one remote meeting and admin tomorrow. Won't be going to my Friday running group yet again because I'm still in rehab and most I've run is 2 miles in the last month. I am really struggling without the mental health benefits of the exercise.
I'm glad you got through the day too ending with the bus craziness. What kind of pizza? I'm glad it sounds like a less time consuming day with work tomorrow. And I have a question if you care to share....are you able to walk at least, any distance until you can return to your running?
 
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TragicReality

I wish I could turn back time
SF Supporter
i've been sick for almost a week. When I feel my lowest something always seems to go wrong. I'll blame myself for it Yet, I do think, both my sons should respect me and be willing to help. My older said he blocked me for 6 months. He was my emergency contact. He doesn't believe in medicine at all or doctors. No use explaining to him the reason I'm still alive is that I have to take medication. I'm in a foul mood.
 
i've been sick for almost a week. When I feel my lowest something always seems to go wrong. I'll blame myself for it Yet, I do think, both my sons should respect me and be willing to help. My older said he blocked me for 6 months. He was my emergency contact. He doesn't believe in medicine at all or doctors. No use explaining to him the reason I'm still alive is that I have to take medication. I'm in a foul mood.
Sorry your in a foul mood. It sounds like a uncomfortable situation with your sons,, where it's never nice to be treated with disrespect. What have you tried with your sons to try to get them to engage?
I would encourage you to be nice to yourself,, take a step at a time.
 

TragicReality

I wish I could turn back time
SF Supporter
Sorry your in a foul mood. It sounds like a uncomfortable situation with your sons,, where it's never nice to be treated with disrespect. What have you tried with your sons to try to get them to engage?
I would encourage you to be nice to yourself,, take a step at a time.
I've tried asking nicely. i wouldn't have to bother either of them right now if my credit card didn't get hacked. I just feel like there should be respect to me, I've always done my best to be there for both of them when they needed me. But I didn't have them for the purpose of eventually looking after me. It's just a temporary problem, I'm too weak to walk to the store. Maybe I can tomorrow... and I'm not going to spread my germs around. Thanks for the reply while you're also going through a very tough time.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I'm glad you got through the day too ending with the bus craziness. What kind of pizza? I'm glad it sounds like a less time consuming day with work tomorrow. And I have a question if you care to share....are you able to walk at least, any distance until you can return to your running?
Thanks. I walked a few miles home from the station yesterday, so I keep testing the leg, I get the occasional twinge but it's just nerve sensitivity. I'm planning a 2-3 mile jog tomorrow as it survived my 2 miles on Sunday. Just not yet confident enough to end up miles from home with a group in the woods and possibly get stranded an hour's walk from base. Going to try to work up to it, and get some walks in the meantime. Only walking I've been doing this week is to and from work and to and from meetings 😂
 

JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
Thanks. I walked a few miles home from the station yesterday, so I keep testing the leg, I get the occasional twinge but it's just nerve sensitivity. I'm planning a 2-3 mile jog tomorrow as it survived my 2 miles on Sunday. Just not yet confident enough to end up miles from home with a group in the woods and possibly get stranded an hour's walk from base. Going to try to work up to it, and get some walks in the meantime. Only walking I've been doing this week is to and from work and to and from meetings 😂
Miles! Sounds like you are doing really well with your physical recovery it and sounds like a plan! Have a good jog tomorrow✔️
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
having one of those bugs where i have to keep going to my favorite room in the house, i feel like a king on my throne lol. it of course raises pain but still bearable.

unfortunately starting back on my mirtazepine. i have occasional nightmares, nights with no sleep and mild depression starting without it. oh well i gave it a shot

mike
 

SillyOldBear

Teddy Bears Rule! 🐻
Staff Alumni
having one of those bugs where i have to keep going to my favorite room in the house, i feel like a king on my throne lol. it of course raises pain but still bearable.

unfortunately starting back on my mirtazepine. i have occasional nightmares, nights with no sleep and mild depression starting without it. oh well i gave it a shot

mike

Sorry to hear you need to go back on the meds. Hopefully only a low dose.
I am having the opposite throne room problem. Damn IBS. It raises pain too. Think how much easier it would be if we did not need to eat!
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
i've been sick for almost a week. When I feel my lowest something always seems to go wrong. I'll blame myself for it Yet, I do think, both my sons should respect me and be willing to help. My older said he blocked me for 6 months. He was my emergency contact. He doesn't believe in medicine at all or doctors. No use explaining to him the reason I'm still alive is that I have to take medication. I'm in a foul mood.
That would be tough for anyone. Did your son indicate why he is taking a pause? It hurts, but people often do things they should not and vise-versa. It sounds like it is over you taking meds. If so, his position is very extreme.

The cat is out of the bag now, but he is not your doctor and you are allowed to make your own decisions. I wish more adults would realize that. Only a parent can control the behavior of their small children; parents have a hard time with even this. I don’t tell anyone that I take psych meds unless I already know that they also do.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I have no idea what it must be like to find and get work in the states but I imagine it must be tough. I would say in the UK it's easier to find work but you'll end up either in a caring role or retail. I've done both, but trying to get a job to match my skill set was impossible, where I ended up having to retrain. I find my job a bit boring at times, but it's well paid and I am grateful I have a job.
My field is dependent on businesses growing. I do things that a business really only needs if the top line is growing at 5% + year over year.

There’s always some big corporations laying off, but others are hiring, so it’s not a big deal to lose a job. However, due to the economic swings, everyone got laid off because the downturn revised revenue forecasts which decreased budgets. That’s what a layoff is. It’s the first time I’ve seen this since the 2008 real estate disaster.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
@Inastorm - I lost some text when I sent my reply above. Businesses cut people like me when the forecasts go down, but it's usually a push- pull where some sectors are growing while others are declining. Then the pendulum swings over to the other side; the down ones last time are moving back up and the reverse as well. The weird thing now is that the pendulum has basically gotten detached from the arm of the clock. Everything sux, esp for small businesses. Even businesses that would otherwise be hiring are sitting it out on growth in case even more s*** hits even more fans, in which case cash is not just king, but king of kings. Aaaaand the love of money (greed) is the root of all evil. So you can guess where my leanings lean, lol.

Nonetheless, this little dust-up in the USA executive branch bro-mance is almost worth the price of admission. I'd still rather have a functioning democracy back, but hey - they can't all be winners, can they? Also it just hit 1:00 here, I'm sleep deprived, so I should probably just stop.
 
I have done the most important things I had to do today already, before 9 am. So I should have the right to feel relaxed.

But I’m anxious about a package I dropped off. I received a book damaged in transit that I had to send back. It really gives me too much stress and anxiety to deal with. So I have now vowed to stop buying more books. Be happy with what I have already.

Feel I have so little life left, and I really don’t want to waste my days on worrying over trivial matters.
 

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