How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[LumberJack]

I’m doing as much as I can to keep my mood from falling off a cliff but it’s starting to feel like a doomed effort. Maybe this is a regular mood fluctuation that we all have.

Last night I was in bed for 4 hours and probably only really slept for half that. Today I am moody and my intrusive thoughts are taking up all my energy and working memory.

Going to bed early tonight and hopefully get caught up or at least get enough for one night.

 

[Angie]

Frantically trying to figure out transportation to cancer surgery on December 3rd.

Its a long drive through major traffic to a big city.

Waiting for a call from a social worker, if that doesn't pan out I am dependent on strangers pretty much.

This sucks.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Frantically trying to figure out transportation to cancer surgery on December 3rd.

Its a long drive through major traffic to a big city.

Waiting for a call from a social worker, if that doesn't pan out I am dependent on strangers pretty much.

This sucks.

Hey @Angie , Sorry to hear you’re needing surgery. And a ride. Is there an update somewhere about your plan of care? If thats too nosey- don’t answer. 👌
I’ve got to say, if you get a volunteer driver from your cancer center, you’ll likely be treated very kindly. Many volunteer because they have been in your position. Some have family that needed transportation. These people offer to help because they have a kind, giving heart. Also, you could ask to talk to the person driving before the trip. Tell the social worker you feel anxious about accepting a ride from a stranger.
I suppose it could be a taxi but cancer centers have many volunteers. 🦩🦩🦩🦩

 

[puffymilk]

Heavy weight in my chest

 

[Angie]

Hey @Angie , Sorry to hear you’re needing surgery. And a ride. Is there an update somewhere about your plan of care? If thats too nosey- don’t answer. 👌
I’ve got to say, if you get a volunteer driver from your cancer center, you’ll likely be treated very kindly. Many volunteer because they have been in your position. Some have family that needed transportation. These people offer to help because they have a kind, giving heart. Also, you could ask to talk to the person driving before the trip. Tell the social worker you feel anxious about accepting a ride from a stranger.
I suppose it could be a taxi but cancer centers have many volunteers. 🦩🦩🦩🦩

A social worker from the hospital is supposed to call in the next two days. I'm just so upset and having a hard time with this.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

A social worker from the hospital is supposed to call in the next two days. I'm just so upset and having a hard time with this.

I imagine it’s information overload. If you’d like to share more, I’ll listen. You can pm if you’d like. You could even start a diary/update post as you go. Or not. Just know you are important! you deserve good support.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Heavy weight in my chest

Hey there @puffymilk
Do you think you’re getting ill - virus? Or is it burden & stress?

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I am so tired. Sleeping poorly.

plus- I couldn’t get on the website for a couple hours this morning. Odd. Was it down?

 

[Windhover]

@Angie In addition to strong hugs, if you want them, I'm thinking and sending my kind of prayers that these steps aren't too distressing for you. On the ohter hadnd of course it's too distressing, and I'm sorry you have to wake up to this, for now. I keep thinking it's all taking you towards your healing.

 

[Windhover]

I'm okay, but aware of anxiety eating away at me. I'm not a whole person after what happened and I don't know if this is how it feels to be used to this, or if some random day in future I'll be free of the sadness. These are feelings. They're valid, real, but ephemeral. Maybe the Universe sees them as interesting, who knows.

 

[puffymilk]

Hey there @puffymilk
Do you think you’re getting ill - virus? Or is it burden & stress?

It is burden and stress. Even sometimes when I breath, it automatically sobs. It's weird. I was fine a few months ago, I want to get rid of this feeling.

 

[LumberJack]

I feel terrible. I did get 8 hrs sleep last night, so at least I'm not falling farther behind. Nonetheless I still feel dog-tired. I can hardly do anything but eat and drink and, apparently, post about how much I hate my life. I'm tormented by my memories. My rational thought is limited if not out of commission.

I'm ready to go. I'm tired of feeling this way, and it happens more frequently the closer I get to the anniversary of when everything good flowed out of my life. I should have been dead by now. Nobody lives forever, but I think at least some of us would like for life to be even shorter. I'm just waiting right now.

 

[MAC0]

Worried and down got a phonecall form the tax office today see I worked for myself for 10 year and had to do self assessment tax returns but that ended in 2023 so now they rang me saying as I had not sent a tax return they have fined me near £2000

funny think is I have been unemployed and working over that time so how they think I was still self employed its a joke main issue is trying to phone them to sort it you wait over an hour for them to pick the phone up

 

[Harmony]

Frantically trying to figure out transportation to cancer surgery on December 3rd.

Its a long drive through major traffic to a big city.

Waiting for a call from a social worker, if that doesn't pan out I am dependent on strangers pretty much.

This sucks.

Angie, I am so sorry you are going through all this. Sending love and hugs your way. You will be in my thoughts. I hope everything gets ironed out and goes as smoothly as possible for you during this stressful time.

 

[Angie]

Angie, I am so sorry you are going through all this. Sending love and hugs your way. You will be in my thoughts. I hope everything gets ironed out and goes as smoothly as possible for you during this stressful time.

Thank you

 

[crowgarden]

when does it fucking end

 

[LumberJack]

when does it fucking end

sorry you are also feeling this way. I wish I knew, and I wish it was a long time ago for me.

 

[AvidFan]

Cold.

I am so tired. Sleeping poorly.

plus- I couldn’t get on the website for a couple hours this morning. Odd. Was it down?

A load of websites went down due to an issue with the web service Cloudflare! Should be all resolved now!

 

[AvidFan]

Worried and down got a phonecall form the tax office today see I worked for myself for 10 year and had to do self assessment tax returns but that ended in 2023 so now they rang me saying as I had not sent a tax return they have fined me near £2000

funny think is I have been unemployed and working over that time so how they think I was still self employed its a joke main issue is trying to phone them to sort it you wait over an hour for them to pick the phone up

Feel your pain with HMRC - total *******s

 

[AvidFan]

Frantically trying to figure out transportation to cancer surgery on December 3rd.

Its a long drive through major traffic to a big city.

Waiting for a call from a social worker, if that doesn't pan out I am dependent on strangers pretty much.

This sucks.

Really feel for you having to go through this and scramble for support at such an already challenging time. I wish I was nearer so I could help, though as I don't drive wouldn't be much use. Could get you some things though and make sure you were comfortable when you got home. Am there in spirit. Sending you love and support.