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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Glad you have a second machine to use. Not glad about the bad things happening one atop the other. That's an awful heavy lot on you right now. Sorry (again) about missing the race. I hope the anxiety drops away
- (h) if they help @AvidFan.
Thank you @seabird. They help for sure. I just had a major panic as I looked on my one drive and all I could find listed was files from the last 4 weeks - none of my folders, older (but essential for records) files, or anything. Had to dig deep to find them and then jump through hoops trying to get it to replicate the folders. I think it's done now. Hope you are doing OK!
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Gee, sorry about the computer issues @AvidFan. It doesn’t seem like too long ago you had to replace the last one, so I hope the new box is under warranty? I wonder if you need a more solid build, like a heavy duty laptop (if that’s affordable), or a desktop if you’re amenable to that. A desktop is generally less expensive than a laptop for the same performance, and less sensitive to environmental stress… I don’t know why the laptops keep dying on you though. I have an HP (i know, shame on me) and the case flexes when I pick it up and keep it horizontal. I know this because the corners of the case pop open. That’s why I will probably get a desktop once this is obsolete.

I’m really sad that you missed your race. It seems like running is really important for you.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Gee, sorry about the computer issues @AvidFan. It doesn’t seem like too long ago you had to replace the last one, so I hope the new box is under warranty? I wonder if you need a more solid build, like a heavy duty laptop (if that’s affordable), or a desktop if you’re amenable to that. A desktop is generally less expensive than a laptop for the same performance, and less sensitive to environmental stress… I don’t know why the laptops keep dying on you though. I have an HP (i know, shame on me) and the case flexes when I pick it up and keep it horizontal. I know this because the corners of the case pop open. That’s why I will probably get a desktop once this is obsolete.

I’m really sad that you missed your race. It seems like running is really important for you.
Thanks @LumberJack appreciate it. It's a HP laptop 😲 - I think it must be a die by design kind of thing - just a few months out of warranty again! The guy did fix it cheaply last time, I'm just glad I kept everything barebones - everything in cloud, and this machine kept up to date, so all I had to do was login and most things are already set up the same. Hopefully I can get the other one fixed and will have a spare again. Laptop is needed for getting it to and from office and meetings etc but I used to love having a desktop in the old days!

I will probably get a Lenovo or something next time, these HPs are too flimsy!
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I think the sleep debt is making me anxious. Or maybe I am less able to cope with it on an even keel. My intrusive thoughts are bothering me, but I have had a bit of a break over yesterday and the day before. I was also sleeping well the nights before those days. I don’t know if the med change is helping yet; it’s only been 5 days, counting today. I am sad about everything today, whether I can do anything about it or not.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I think the sleep debt is making me anxious. Or maybe I am less able to cope with it on an even keel. My intrusive thoughts are bothering me, but I have had a bit of a break over yesterday and the day before. I was also sleeping well the nights before those days. I don’t know if the med change is helping yet; it’s only been 5 days, counting today. I am sad about everything today, whether I can do anything about it or not.
Sorry you are sad about everything. I hope that the medication change works for you. Glad you have at least some sleep credit in the bank! Wish you well with the next sleep!
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I'm worn out, it's only 11pm but am going to lie on my bed and hope I can get some sleep. It's gone cooler but still don't want to lie under a blanket. My body doesn't feel safe, hence it keeps waking at 4.30am. I hope I can get a few hours, I have so much to deal with and the lack of sleep is like trying to do things blindfolded and in a straitjacket at times. Much love to everyone on SF
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Everything feels boring on Abilify. And too difficult to bother with.
I got that, too, except not with Abilify. Risperdal was terrible with the emotional blunting for me, as was olanzapine (sp?) although less than the evil risperidone! Seroquel/quetiapine was great in the beginning, but the side effects piled up over time and the intended effect stopped working.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Sorry you are sad about everything. I hope that the medication change works for you. Glad you have at least some sleep credit in the bank! Wish you well with the next sleep!
I think that Friday and Saturday nights were catch-up from my all nighter from 07:00 AM Tuesday until 11:00 AM Weds, and then I got 2 hours of sleep while feeling wired but felt too dizzy to try walking or standing.

I’m pretty optimistic about the med change because we took the fluoxetine back up to 40mg from only 10mg. The fluoxetine was great against my depression and anxiety, but it had the side effect that I felt was a huge price to pay. I felt like it wasn’t worth feeling emotionally healthy if I couldn’t express my physical affection intimately.

Now, though, the cost/benefit has changed because I am so paralyzed by everything that I am too anxious to even think about dating. My APRN said that we have got to get me over this paralysis for right now and we can look at the side effects later. I agree with him and not least because the people who care about me (and have some knowledge about working with mentally ill people) are telling me to tell my prescriber about it.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
I got that, too, except not with Abilify. Risperdal was terrible with the emotional blunting for me, as was olanzapine (sp?) although less than the evil risperidone! Seroquel/quetiapine was great in the beginning, but the side effects piled up over time and the intended effect stopped working.
Some days I can't stand antipsychotics for all the side effects they've given me. I would say Vraylar was the worst of them for me.

But with Abilify: cravings/hunger, weight gain, restlessness, emotional blunting, impulsivity, compulsion, increased sexual desire, suicidal thoughts.

I'd say they're all evil, each in its own way.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
I've got thrush (at least I'm pretty sure I do). It is awful!

Will call doctor in the morning. What other weird thing can happen lol
That is weird @Angie, I've thought of thrush as one of those kid's maladies. I got a nasty, panful case of it when breastfeeding (long time ago!), and it was awful, made me really ill. I hope you get a good night's reast, and get better soon. I'm glad you're going to call the doctor.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
After sleep paralysis, I woke up afraid, and almost went upstairs to sleep on my brother's couch after what I saw. Then I stopped on the stairs and said, "F it...I'm not running". So I came back, prayed, and turned on the gospel on YouTube.

"A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you" - Psalm 91:7

 
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