• IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.

How Are You Feeling Right Now?

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Honestly thought I was a goner today and while it was terrifying, there was a part of me that thought oh well, if I go I go and would not have minded slipping away.

Started the nerve medication recently and then took something else today. Was feeling anxious so took a herbal aid for that. It might not have been related but half an hour later my anxiety was at 1000/10, my watch was saying 100/100 stress and my heart rate was 130 sitting on the sofa. I felt absolutely petrified. I usually take my blood pressure to reassure me and that started giving me all kinds of strange readings and errors. I checked the internet, it said these errors are because it can't find a pulse properly, and then I started believing my heart was failing under the pressure.

I gritted my teeth and got through this. Eventually I decided the problem was with the machine and maybe not me (laptop, TV, washing machine now the fucking blood pressure machine I give up). I rely on this device to keep me sane so I eventually took a walk to the nearest shop that sells them. A) I could walk and didn't get any twinges in my hip B) It didn't kick off an episode of painful nerve burning, at least not immediately. C) They had one and I managed to get back home with it.

Took my blood pressure 145/96. Absolutely terrible for me. Then became convinced the other machine has been broken for years feeding me ideal blood pressure readings while actually I was in constant hypertensive crises with stress. So I tried again, and it came down. And then a bit later, and my blood pressure hasn't exploded or been borderline deadly for years, it's back to around 120/80 which is a big relief.

So on the one hand I nearly scared myself to death today but on paper, walking that far is the longest walk I've done for a while. Hopefully it just means I have knots in my body to untangle. As for the medication, I will revisit that with GP when I review, but seeing as it influences noradrenaline and this is listed as a side effect it is possible it is related - mind you I have used this medication without incident in the past, but then this is on top of 2 months of pain and fear so maybe my nervous system is still in flames.

My watch is still saying 80/100 stress (it's usual for me to be in the green rest zone at this time of day) and heart rate is in 90s. But no longer feeling panic. So much for a quiet day off.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Cautiously optimistic. I've managed to dress myself and handle some personal admin work. I have a few things going on this week and I need to figure out how to get where I need to be, when I need to be there, without running into conflicts. It's mostly Friday so I think I can handle it by then. I've done some cleaning because I dropped a glass last night and got shards of it everywhere. It was too close to bedtime, though, so I went to bed rather than risk an injury from trying to handle a broom and dustpan after taking the PM meds, lol. I felt overexerted after just that. I was doing some sweeping, and then bending down to pick stuff up, but nothing strenuous. It felt like I wasn't breathing, although my airways seem unobstructed. My allergies have been going up to 11 this year, so I took some nasal spray for that. It's azelastine, which is usually used for eyes, but they have a nose version too. Flonase/Fluticasone (sp?) was kind of helping but azelastine seems to really get the job done, as in I feel better than normal. I've gotten used to being chronically congested, so it's like a superpower when I can breathe okay. Still waiting for that to kick in.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Got court case in municipal incident resolved today. I showed up on Zoom but dressed professionally - which is a big lift for a guy who considers changing out of pajama shorts to be "dressing up," lol. I felt really nervous - I'm not used to being in trouble. It was not as serious as I thought it would be and I got some lenience because I did more than 2x the community service hours they put in the plea bargain.

I didn't mention that it was at a place where I would be volunteering anyway, though. I was worried that would make it look less like a punishment if I said so, but the volunteer gig was in process before I even got pulled over.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
Some surprisingly bad trouble with intrusive thoughts today. It could be a reaction to the stress of the socializing which was forced upon me the last 2 days and nights. I haven't had my normal (?) amount of sleep either, due to the noise.

It's probably good I don't have a b p machine. I'm guessing mine would've been very high the entire time, even though I wasn't aware anything was wrong until the second day. Odd that I handled the social interaction just fine, and then after it's over I crumble and then burn up. More like a phoenix?πŸ¦β€πŸ”₯ than a sea bird. Hopefully I will re-form and calm down today.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Some surprisingly bad trouble with intrusive thoughts today. It could be a reaction to the stress of the socializing which was forced upon me the last 2 days and nights. I haven't had my normal (?) amount of sleep either, due to the noise.

It's probably good I don't have a b p machine. I'm guessing mine would've been very high the entire time, even though I wasn't aware anything was wrong until the second day. Odd that I handled the social interaction just fine, and then after it's over I crumble and then burn up. More like a phoenix?πŸ¦β€πŸ”₯ than a sea bird. Hopefully I will re-form and calm down today.
Sorry about what you've had to endure and the intrusive thoughts. 😟 Yeah these devices can be helpful, because sometimes I feel like I MUST HAVE super high blood pressure and when it turns out normal it's reassuring - but I suppose if it was actually high it would start having the opposite effect!
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
I hope you are feeling better @AvidFan. Mine goes way, way up when I'm in doctor's and dentist's appointments.

So I suppose you're saying it (your very high blood pressure) might've been caused by the combination of factors. Does your medication have known side effects which include HBP? or, the conflation is wrong for your nervous system due to a medicine-herb interaction?
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I hope you are feeling better @AvidFan. Mine goes way, way up when I'm in doctor's and dentist's appointments.

So I suppose you're saying it (your very high blood pressure) might've been caused by the combination of factors. Does your medication have known side effects which include HBP? or, the conflation is wrong for your nervous system due to a medicine-herb interaction?
Thanks @seabird - it's allegedly known for lowering blood pressure a bit lol! In my case I think my nervous system has been so sensitised that any change is registering as a threat, or new combination sent it into freefall! Or sometimes I notice feeling different which sparks anxiety and I get into a loop. All seems a bit more normal now, blood pressure back to regular levels on several readings. Garmin still stuck in stress but probably all the adrenaline and it's not a medical device lol!
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I hope you are feeling better @AvidFan. Mine goes way, way up when I'm in doctor's and dentist's appointments.

So I suppose you're saying it (your very high blood pressure) might've been caused by the combination of factors. Does your medication have known side effects which include HBP? or, the conflation is wrong for your nervous system due to a medicine-herb interaction?
Mine too. Not so much at the dentist, but it's more like coming in off the road. Last time I was in a dr office, they measured right after I stepped off the scale and was at 150/94 or thereabouts. 15 min later, 120/82... per the doc that's a significant change. Honestly I don't know; my aptitude is for neuropsychiatry, not Cardiovascular. But I do sort of think that 150 is high and 120 is about ideal, depending on age, etc. I have a home electronic cuff monitor but I haven't used it in years.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I woke up with a lot of anger. It seems like I am ruminating at night and I wake up agitated. I need to stop hiding my pain from myself. I think I don’t have any reason to be depressed, but in reality I have 3 big stressors right now: not having a job, not having a significant other, and not respecting myself enough to do the hard things that would move me closer to where my needs are getting met. I need to make a plan, but baby steps first; I have made many grand plans that never materialized because I didn’t take action. I am going to make hour by hour plans today, so that I can get momentum from following through on things before I talk myself out of it.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$45.00
Goal
$255.00
Top