How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[LumberJack]

I'm feeling quite strange today. It dawned on me how a part of the discomfort might be how this packing and move does remind me of the other moves which have abuse and trauma associated with them. I sat for some meditation and let the thoughts and feelings come on through.

Yesterday lol I realised it's okay to see some positive things. I started trying to remind myself of the fact of having a place to myself is going to be a relief. I'll be much closer to the ocean and forests.

This sounds very wise. I'm sorry the trauma is coming back because of reminders of the past. This happens to me more than once each day, so I can relate.

Letting the emotions flow through is a specific technique within my Buddhist tradition. However, I've also read people outside of my tradition, and secular writers, who promote the same idea. Same cake, different frosting. I am instructed to feel the emotions, as in through bodily sensations (aka "feeling" lol) without engaging the story line containing judgements and interpretations. This will still come up, but when I notice it, I drop it just like returning to my breath in standard mindfulness practice. Interesting that you came up with something similar on your own. Sounds like your body was speaking to you, albeit in a nonverbal way.

I was in therapy yesterday and I sort of talked myself into realizing how long it's been since I went camping or even visited a National Park. I cried - hard. I need to get out and literally hug a tree; I don't feel right without them. Knowing my luck, though, that tree will have ticks on it and I'll end up with Lyme disease. So maybe hug a tree with a hooded jacket on and my pants cuffs tucked into my shoes?

 

[KM76710]

Well no, @LumberJack I didn't go to the clinic or any medical provider. It hurts at the same level as when I did have a cracked rib that'd been confirmed by x-ray at hospital after a car wreck (that one was years ago). That rib was cracked and shoved into my thorax, collapsing half my lungs, until the surgeon released the pressure by inserting a one-way valve thingamajob... Is it bad how consistently I go off on tangents yes I suppose it is really bad. Pelple in real life get very irked with me.

I hope you heal up and feel better quickly. Years ago I cracked a couple when I tripped half asleep in the edge of the open bedroom door. No fun at all. I seemed to hurt more from the bruised area rather than the ribs for me.

 

[Windhover]

@1Lefty I hope your relationship situation improves. It's never just one person's fault.

 

[Windhover]

I am instructed to feel the emotions, as in through bodily sensations (aka "feeling" lol) without engaging the story line containing judgements and interpretations. This will still come up, but when I notice it, I drop it just like returning to my breath in standard mindfulness practice. Interesting that you came up with something similar on your own. Sounds like your body was speaking to you, albeit in a nonverbal way.

Maybe my body came up with it but maybe not.* I have felt a very dark desperate need to start being done with the pain. That sounds dramatic but it's not. I'm having to choose between holding on to the pain and si or a different sort of path with less pain, or perhaps just a different sort. Pysically my body cannot mourn the broken abusive marriage anymore. I have to go do other things.

*Maybe I learned (and they were buried in my mind) some of these kinds of teachings from when I stayed at th Kundalini Ashram for a coupld of weeks.

LumberJack it's hightly unlikely there'll be ticks on tree trunks. They hang out on shrubs and on the ground mostly, waiting for deer, elk, etc. I lol have some gross tick stories but not gonna put them here.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

For the first time in a long while I feel completely depressed and defeated. First the car accident secondly a friend gave me a hard time about arriving too early to drive him to the appointment thirdly losing my car registration (I found it eventually) and finally decided that I couldn’t go on a trip I was planning on because I was too late to register. Nothing really terrible but it has been a trying day. I feel so alone in this world and I probably am not alone. Feeling sad but not suicidal. I even ate two candy bars thereby killing my diet but it was comfort food.

Sounds like a very trying day. I hope tomorrow is better.
I wanted to share a news story in my area. A police officer (distracted driving) hit a parked car, flipped the police car. The owner of the parked car is struggling with the city to get the undrivable car repaired. I am hoping someone from the community is able to assist the owner with repairs & a loaner car. Sometimes the community is amazing. Other times it’s nothing. The city is not in a hurry to assist the car owner. Makes your head want to explode!

 

[cymbele]

Feeling like I have to drop two people from my “list of friends “ because one is a downer and the other puts me down most of the time. I feel funny about it when so many people would rather be in my position but they constantly make me feel bad. So I will be here on SF more complaining about loneliness but it’s coming to that realization of how they treat me. And I am drawing a new boundary

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I was in therapy yesterday and I sort of talked myself into realizing how long it's been since I went camping or even visited a National Park. I cried - hard. I need to get out and literally hug a tree; I don't feel right without them. Knowing my luck, though, that tree will have ticks on it and I'll end up with Lyme disease. So maybe hug a tree with a hooded jacket on and my pants cuffs tucked into my shoes?

I know what you mean! The calm & beauty of nature is a gift. Tics, not so much. Have you ever used Permethrin on your coat/gear. It’s helpful. Now go hug a tree.

 

[I_waste_everything]

Feeling like I have to drop two people from my “list of friends “ because one is a downer and the other puts me down most of the time. I feel funny about it when so many people would rather be in my position but they constantly make me feel bad. So I will be here on SF more complaining about loneliness but it’s coming to that realization of how they treat me. And I am drawing a new boundary

I'm sorry that two individuals you'd entrusted as "friends" are like this. Them being so, though, I'm rooting for you setting that boundary and cutting off the harmers while the cutting's good.

As for the downer, assuming s/he isn't also trying to put you down like the other one does, I wish her/him healing; you're still doing the right thing stepping away. I know this because I am often a downer, and have become better after others have distanced hiemselves from me, citing explicitly my negativity. If your conscience pangs even for a moment, know that it might be part of what they need.