How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[LumberJack]

Just a quick check in today. I had another zero minutes of sleep cycle from Friday evening, up until, just about now. My mind is behaving differently and creating ideas that connect waaaay too many dots at a time to be accurate. OTOH, I find the Byzantine elaboration in my thoughts a bit entertaining. I can easily spot them because they come with a tell tale sign of something like being awarded a Nobel Prize, or publishing a new theorem in some field where I have no expertise.

So, I have targeted 10:00 PM for bedtime, compared to finally winding down at some point between 1:00 and 3:00 AM. And I feel like a mr. Poopypants because I’m flat out irritable as a result of the sleep deprivation. It’s like nothing is good enough. Put on some music, but the cheerful or energetic styles are grating, but my go-to heavy metal is just a bunch of spoiled little rock stars whining about their relationship failures.

Last thing is that I tried being more polite with myself. I figured that if I can harshly criticize myself, then it must also be appropriate to notice when things turn out okay. By now I feel lighter, so I am inclined to explore this further.

 

[LumberJack]

(Okay quick does not mean brief, apparently .
It frequently takes me more time to cut things out than it does add entirely new tangents in!)

 

[Windhover]

Absolutely! Is it a nature photo?

It is. Check your inbox. : ) 🌿🌲

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Tired...very tired ans apathetic.

I hope you get rest and feel better soon.

 

[SillyOldBear]

Tired...very tired ans apathetic.

Hey Old Hooter. I am 74. I understand.

 

[may71]

I'm relearning that just because you love someone, sometimes that's not enough, so
mostly heartbroken
feeling misunderstood

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope we can give you some understanding here.

sorry that someone I still love and care for is hurting, and that, according to her, I'm the sole cause

I'm sorry she's hurting, but you're a good man 1Lefty, and the chances that you solely or even mostly to blame are probably zero.

I hope you can feel better soon

 

[Lane]

I just failed, in the most miserable way, the presentation of my homework for the Japanese class. I invested more than 7 hours in that little shit and couldn't say a single word correctly during the whole thing. I ended up crying and self-harming.
I feel sad, stupid, stressed, and like the total failure that I am.

You aren't a failure. You put in the effort and that counts. I hope that you feel better soon.

 

[Lane]

I live my life after many years of bad depression. However, I feel like i dont address the major things that impede my life.

 

[Windhover]

Feeling bleak. It was no use trying to fall back asleep.

 

[LumberJack]

I live my life after many years of bad depression. However, I feel like i dont address the major things that impede my life.

You too, huh? I frequently feel the same. I think a lot more of us do than how many people are aware.

 

[LumberJack]

Sad and anxious. Too many thoughts. Thoughts that cause pain, but are about the past. I think that a more functional version of myself would redirect towards finding solutions instead. I also m to be more present to the feelings today.

 

[1Lefty]

I've had minimal nutrition for at least 3 days, and without taking meds for that long, so it's going to take me several days to establish equilibrium again. There is a temptation to avoid correcting the imbalance

peace

 

[I_waste_everything]

Tired...very tired ans apathetic.

I've met this feeling before, and often, and for long. I'm sorry. I hope that something will happen to give a spark to break either/both of those; and that in the meantime, that the low-energy-ness of those feelings sublimate to the silver lining of restfulness and refreshing.

 

[I_waste_everything]

I feel upset at myself for choosing- CHOOSING- time and again to just eat, eat, eat, when I even consider it, instead of gripping the steering wheel more often and choosing to skip excess food temptations.

I do choose not-to-eat-at-all sometimes. When I do, it's superb. I feel better, I feel like the actual meals I have matter more, and I feel more aware and motivated to try. But clearly I've been giving gluttony-temptation more and more rope, and now it has me on a noose that it can tug anytime I dare pull away from a snack I don't need.

I do feel bad about this, but this is my fault. Whether I like it or not. Whether I admit it within or not. I can pull against that bespoke noose until the food-temptation looses grip of it. But what's the point of my acknowledging that, until I start, regularly, often, indefinitely, and with further weight-loss as result, fighting back and insisting the answer, in mind, soul, and in practice, of "no"?

 

[AvidFan]

I still feel a little sad - I went out for my run walk, and suddenly I had a furry thing at my feet miaowing at me and being affectionate - it was one of my cat friends, and I didn't have any treats for him so I felt bad walking away. I'll try to make it up to him later lol! To be fair he was like this before I even started taking treats, he's a very friendly cat!

 

[I_waste_everything]

DISGUSTED DISGUSTED
< mod edit - method >

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I've had minimal nutrition for at least 3 days, and without taking meds for that long, so it's going to take me several days to establish equilibrium again. There is a temptation to avoid correcting the imbalance

peace

I am sorry to hear your relationship struggles. Sounds like you are on a slippery slope. You are worth the effort. I hope you’ll resist the harm and correct the imbalance. Some comfort food and rest? We are here for you.

 

[SillyOldBear]

Afraid. Being forced into a provider change because of f-ing insurance. And am old and unhealthy. Not a good time for this.

 

[LumberJack]

Slightly better. I got a good sleep last night, but not enough to recover from a full night of sleep debt. I’m still really, really irritable. Trying to calm down.

 

[LumberJack]

Afraid. Being forced into a provider change because of f-ing insurance. And am old and unhealthy. Not a good time for this.

That sucks. I know that I take a long time to develop trust and have discomfort when things change that hurt me. I also think that is a common thing among people.