How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[LumberJack]

I'm probably writing this on the wrong (should be in accomplishments) but I went to the "Halloween parade" and I was cordial and said nice things, enjoyed the parade, and maintained my distance. Success. I don't think my ex will bug me in my dreams tonight.

Also I told a white lie with my brother's complicity to my needy friend and told him I was not hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year and I couldn't invite him because it wasn't my place. This gives him a month to find a place or mentally prepare for being alone. I feel even more guilty but at least he knows he is on his own.

Oh, honey - I wish you could forgive yourself for not being that individual’s sole caretaker. You don’t have any obligation to do that. Given that I have not read you mention any reciprocity on his part, I would guess that the friendship is one sided in the sense that you must meet his (seemingly oversized) needs, but he doesn’t have to contribute anything. Hopefully you will take this as food for thought. I cannot know the entire story or the nuances of your feelings. At the same time, he’s an adult and the only person responsible for his life is himself.

 

[LumberJack]

Someone to fix my house so it doesn't let in water when it rains.

I kind of wish I were competent at the handyman trade. I would just offer to fly out there and patch what needs to be patched and all the rest. I’m good with windows, but if I were to pick up a hammer to try my hand at interior or exterior walls- I’d probably make things worse!

Of course, this would be impossible. I can’t afford to buy an inter-continental flight, and I doubt that’s something you could spot me, lol. aside from that, it’s probably not my place to offer. I’m more like saying that I have empathy for the problems you’re struggling with right now.

 

[AmberMarie]

i feel as though i am letting everyone down. Logically i know i have no control over things like my BP. However it still feels like i am failing and disappointing when it gets too low and i have to go to hospital.

 

[AvidFan]

I kind of wish I were competent at the handyman trade. I would just offer to fly out there and patch what needs to be patched and all the rest. I’m good with windows, but if I were to pick up a hammer to try my hand at interior or exterior walls- I’d probably make things worse!

Of course, this would be impossible. I can’t afford to buy an inter-continental flight, and I doubt that’s something you could spot me, lol. aside from that, it’s probably not my place to offer. I’m more like saying that I have empathy for the problems you’re struggling with right now.

Thanks for the thought anyway. If I could fund a flight I could probably afford to offer someone local £10k just to bloody turn up..... I do wish I knew someone I could just ask for an opinion. I gave up doing that online because of trolls and bullies. Used to be you'd get some good advice but these days it's a bit like SF, Reddit killed most of the forums and if you post on Reddit you'll get bots making stupid comments and people just saying the house is screwed, which would not be good for my sanity right now. I can only dream of winning the lottery and putting a match to this place as I walk out the door into a limousine taking me to a new life.... It's more likely to be a hearse and I'll be carried on a stretcher (gurney?) at the moment 😂

 

[Pebble mouse]

I've had enough. I want out. I can't do this any longer.

 

[AvidFan]

I've had enough. I want out. I can't do this any longer.

I'm sorry. We're here for you.

 

[Lane]

I've had enough. I want out. I can't do this any longer.

Sorry things are so difficult right now @Pebble mouse. I hope that you can get a bit of peace very soon.

 

[Angie]

I've had enough. I want out. I can't do this any longer.

I am so sorry. If there is any way we can help, please let me know.

 

[LumberJack]

I've had enough. I want out. I can't do this any longer.

I’m sorry. I feel that way too sometimes. I wish nobody ever had to feel this way.

 

[LumberJack]

Intrusive thoughts have been… intrusive… as is their nature; they wouldn’t be intrusive thoughts if they weren’t.

I know that I am well practiced in letting them arise and pass away without getting involved with them. Lately, though, I’ve been having flashbacks to my past experiences where I was abused and humiliated. The intrusive thoughts seem to be harbingers of these flashbacks. I can’t say how badly I wish I could stop reliving that week. I try to let it go and it comes back. I let it go again. As yet, it has not mattered. It is just that when I feel tired, anxious, and frustrated then it comes flooding back.

I wish I had died. There are fates worse than death. Ending up at a “hospital” where they end up hurting you worse than you were already hurting yourself is one of them.

 

[LumberJack]

I gave up doing that online because of trolls and bullies. Used to be you'd get some good advice but these days it's a bit like SF, Reddit killed most of the forums and if you post on Reddit you'll get bots making stupid comments and people just saying the house is screwed.

I get that about Reddit. It’s a dang cesspool right now. There are still some that don’t suck; mainly those are about rare hobbies. The place went to shit immediately after they started charging prohibitive fees for API keys.

 

[Windhover]

@Pebble mouse I'm worried and sorry you are feeling this far down. I have always felt like we are friends who've never met - if that makes any sense at all. I hope you stay with us. If I was still in Oz I'd take the train (& bus) down there if it'd help.

(h) if you want

 

[アオト]

I've failed to function today...
Woke up late and missed my Japanese class.
Took my dog out late.
And, reasonably, my mom got angry at me.
I wanted to buy candy for the kids around but I don't have any money and it is late to go for candy now.
The only thing I can do is at least do the homework I have to do. Wish me luck with that, because it's pretty freaking long (⊙ˍ⊙)
Happy weekend

 

[LumberJack]

My eyes are irritated and when I blink they feel like either the eyes or the eyelids are burning. Not burning like a chemical irritant such as when the shampoo gets in my eyes, but like temperature hot, very hot. I was slacking on treating my dry eyes condition, but I have been very diligent since Thursday. Since it's been 3-4 days depending on how you count it, I was hoping it wouldn't still be hurting. Aside from that, I have a headache that has been persisting into its second day, and allergies that reduce me to mouth breathing if I don't take flonase twice daily, generic 12-hr mucinex at least once, and both azelastine eye drops and nasal spray. At least the Mucinex is motivation to keep me hydrated even when I am not feeling thirsty, which I have been doing much more of today; I've been up for about 7 hours and I am sipping on cup 9 right now. I also have been hitting the spicy food even harder lately, but I would probably be burning my face off even if I didn't have a convenient excuse. It's a side benefit that it thins up things in my sinuses such that was stopped up starts to move again.

 

[KM76710]

I've had enough. I want out. I can't do this any longer.

Sad hearing about how bad things are. You deserve much better, all folks should have good things and happier times to make life more of a pleasant journey.

 

[Pebble mouse]

Thank you, everyone. I'm still here. I'm not at the point where I would act on it, but I feel I'm getting there. I'm just so tired of people playing games with me. It's not fair at all, and I can't deal with it. Thanks again.

 

[Windhover]

It's terrible and shows the worst of humanity when people hurt &/or mess with others especially when someone's at an extra vulnerable point.

@Pebble mouse I hope you are taking care, despite how things are right now.