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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Right now, I'm feeling feeling-overloaded. I pondered existence & death in a morning drive, I struggled wiþ an online interview, lost progress because I stepped away, worked myself up over being prospectively too late to cash two gift cards my coworkers gave me, and riled in anger at þe business-dominance of conservatives in a/þe industries þæt my lifeseed is based on.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
@AvidFan Hopefully you've had a peaceful night with or without going to the gig. Do you have trouble leaving the house for anomalous activities but are okay with your daily walks? I ask but it's sort of rhetorical becauae I have been trying to find a pattern for when I want or have to retreat and hide at home.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
I'm in a strange state of numbly doing the things needing to be done. Dreams are bizarre probably due to having just moved. I have been holding my breath frequently while not having feelings and suspect I am terrified of something. I think it's recent conflict, stress and changes. I am grateful gor the good changes even as a part of my mind says they're not deserved.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
@AvidFan Hopefully you've had a peaceful night with or without going to the gig. Do you have trouble leaving the house for anomalous activities but are okay with your daily walks? I ask but it's sort of rhetorical becauae I have been trying to find a pattern for when I want or have to retreat and hide at home.
I am OK leaving for normal things but this involved using Sunday buses when there is chaos in the venue area due to burst water main. I couldn't really cope with idea of trying to get last bus home at 11.30pm while feeling exhausted in cold weather. Plus my nervous system isn't up to loud crowds at the moment. Also I feel like I'd be the oldest person there by a mile. Am starting to feel my age 😕
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I'm in a strange state of numbly doing the things needing to be done. Dreams are bizarre probably due to having just moved. I have been holding my breath frequently while not having feelings and suspect I am terrified of something. I think it's recent conflict, stress and changes. I am grateful gor the good changes even as a part of my mind says they're not deserved.
I think you very much deserve the good changes but our brains often don't like change! I hope you feel more settled soon. ❤️
 
I am all over the place right now and it’s been so long. I woke up this morning after having an entire night full of nightmares all relating to situations of bullying from secondary school. I had horrendous headaches and it was making me feel I was going to have seizures as I’m epileptic.

I told my girlfriend I woke up this morning really suicidal which is something I just don’t say and she was really worried what with my epilepsy aswell. Then i’ve just been at myself all day and just 5 minutes in my own space makes me feel like hell in my own body.

It’s been so long but I now feel like i’ve spiralled again and I could easily just finish myself at the minute but I know i’m up and down i’m not sure where to go.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
I am OK leaving for normal things but this involved using Sunday buses when there is chaos in the venue area due to burst water main. I couldn't really cope with idea of trying to get last bus home at 11.30pm while feeling exhausted in cold weather. Plus my nervous system isn't up to loud crowds at the moment. Also I feel like I'd be the oldest person there by a mile. Am starting to feel my age 😕
Sounds to me like you made a good decision. Not that it's ever easy. Sending good thoughts and hope you slept.

I hope we all get better rests.


Sending virtual hugs to all of you <3 *sadhug*hug10*console
Thank you.
(h)
 
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LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I’m going to have to limit my time here because I’m really struggling with fatigue. I do sleep but I’m lucky to get 5.5 hours, it’s usually closer to 4. I need to try a few things to calm it, and that will include moving my bedtime earlier as well as less screen time. I’m hoping that I don’t drop away entirely, but I’m not able to be as responsive as I have been lately.

Aside from that, the horrible daytime sleepiness is a thorn in my side. I’m sleep deprived and I almost nodded off while driving today. It was a 35 mph zone and I was going 30 to not tailgate the car in front of me. So, it probably wouldn’t be pretty but I doubt that any injuries would result if the worst scenario happened. But, I had sort of a swoon while driving and my vision was interrupted; as in not seeing anything, as opposed to the vision going all white or all black. I could feel the seductive pull of sleep on my shoulder and it was a big effort to pull myself back. This is my motivation to fix my poor sleep habits .
 
I’m going to have to limit my time here because I’m really struggling with fatigue. I do sleep but I’m lucky to get 5.5 hours, it’s usually closer to 4. I need to try a few things to calm it, and that will include moving my bedtime earlier as well as less screen time. I’m hoping that I don’t drop away entirely, but I’m not able to be as responsive as I have been lately.

Aside from that, the horrible daytime sleepiness is a thorn in my side. I’m sleep deprived and I almost nodded off while driving today. It was a 35 mph zone and I was going 30 to not tailgate the car in front of me. So, it probably wouldn’t be pretty but I doubt that any injuries would result if the worst scenario happened. But, I had sort of a swoon while driving and my vision was interrupted; as in not seeing anything, as opposed to the vision going all white or all black. I could feel the seductive pull of sleep on my shoulder and it was a big effort to pull myself back. This is my motivation to fix my poor sleep habits .
Þis is terrifying. I hope you're able to catch sleep when it's safe
 

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