How do you carry out a healthy relationship?

Hey, I'm new.. My name is Jenny and I am 19 years old.. I was professionally diagnosed at age 18 but my mum (who has worked in the mental Heath field) has suspected I'm borderline since I was like 14. (I've also been professionally diagnosed with severe depression)
This disorder must be hell with the mood swings and the making a big deal out of nothing deals.
But, anyways, I've been in a relationship with my bf for a year and 3 months now.. And the disorder and the depression is getting worse and worse.. I can't even go a day without being a bitch and jumping his shit over nothing.. And then there is the extreme mood swings. One minute ill love him and then I say I hate him because he does one thing wrong.. Also the fear of abandonment. I always break up with him because I think he's gunna leave me because I'm fucking insane.
I've also been feeling suicidal because I don't think things are ever gunna change for me.. I just wanna feel sane.
I just wanna know how to make the relationship better and cope with my problems before its too late... I don't want to lose him but if I keep treating him like bad.. I probably will.

 

Communication talking to him getting him to know your illness so he does understand The doctor will know how to treat your illness therapy helps alot DBT works best with meds it can be controlled and i am told as one ages the illness also gets less in severity

 

Hello Jenny,

BPD is usually diagnosed after your early teen years. This is why it may have taken a while.

Tell him you have BPD, and help him learn symptoms. Seek treatment, medication, and therapy can help you cope. Ask about "cognitive behavioral therapy" it may be helpful.

Remember that you love him, if you find your self irritated, simply avoid contact till you cool off. Make sure he understands why you are being alone.

It sounds like he cares about you, but you really can't break up all the time. No matter how much you love someone, you need stability.

I know it sucks, i've had similar issues. All you can do is try to not act on your mood swings. I find making a clear boundary about when i need to be alone helps.

Channel your pent up hostility into something else. Write how you feel, scream -alone-, cry, pace around, anything to vent out without self harm, or being hostile towards others.

It's a very tough diagnosis to cope with, if you need tips/vent/anything pm me.

Hope you find a way, it will be better with age.