How do you deal? [trigger warning]

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Beka, Oct 1, 2013.

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  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    How do you deal with that particular mood? The best way I can think of describing it is cynical. All I want to is cause myself pain. I'm not even sure if this is in the right forum. I'm stuck. I'm so stuck. All I can think about it hurting myself. Doing damage to myself. I don't know what to do when I'm like this. I don't know how to get out of it, only to ride it out doing what my demons tell me to do. I'm meant to be meeting friends but they'll be an hour late. Bit late for me to go back home but I hate it that they will be so late. How dare they leave me for an hour on my own in public? I know they didn't mean to be this late, shit happens right? But god I hate it so much when people are late. Screw 'better late than never'. No. You said you would be here at this time and you are not. I can feel myself going into hysterics because they don't be there at the same time as me how pathetic is that?!
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Beka
    I am sorry your friends are so unrespectful of time. Some people are like that. I have known my share of them, thats for sure. It was difficult for me when people were late. Because I tend to be on time. Perhaps you can adujst to it by being late yourself in the future when you are meeting these people? I do not know if that would help. I might be tempted if I knew someone was often an hour late, to just arrive an hour late myself. That way they are not getting me upset. I do not know if that would work for you.

    You do not deserve pain. I am not sure thats where the desire to hurt youreslf is coming from. But if it is, you deserve better than causing yourself pain. You said your demons tell you to do that. Your demons do not want what is good or best for you. I used to imagine a beautiful angel. ( not the religious interpertation of angels. I do not do religion). I would imagine words she or he was saying from their heart. Words of kindness and love. I do not know if this would work for you. But maybe its worth a shot. If you wanted to try it but dont relate to angels, maybe you could think of Glenda the good witch in the wizzard of oz. I always think she is so loving. She only says loving things. Just imagine only loving things she would say to you. As often as you want. I dont know if that idea appeals to you.
     
  3. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    Hey, I can't get myself to be late it makes me want to pull my hair out. I can't really concentrate on anything right now I just don't want to either
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Beka, I do know what you mean. I would not be able to be late either. I have a thing about being punctual. For me its part of respecting someones time.. This makes it even harder for me when people do not take time seriously.
     
  5. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    It frustrates me. And on top of that Prozac is making me sick :(
     
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    do you think you should call the doctor and tell him or her that the prozac is making you sick? I hope you do. Sometimes it takes time for the body to adjust to a mdeication. But sometimes the medication may not be the right one. meanwhile, I am sorry its making you sick
     
  7. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I did and they said that even though this is only my second antidepressant that I have been on, they said that it's basically my final straw. They easy this to work for me so I have to keep taking them.
     
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I don't see how they can say that when there are a vast amount of psychiatric medication out there, not everybody's depression can be fixed with an SSRI, there are other different types of anti depressants out there, mood stabilisers and other medications out there.
     
  9. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    That's just what the doctor said to me. They want this one to work for me but it's not. I know it's only been a week and a half but I feel worse.
     
  10. LostInMyDaydreams

    LostInMyDaydreams Well-Known Member

    Hello Beka, I hope you end up finding a medication that works better for you. You should tell them how it's making you feel, even if they want it to work for you they should take your health into account. Many of the doctors in the past always put me on a lot of medication and in the end I was suffering greatly cause of it. As for you're friends not being on time, I totally relate to that. Anytime one of my friends were late, I would have bad panic attacks and freak out. Hope you resolved this with them, it's a horrible feeling and it made me feel stranded and that they didn't care. I'm not the best with giving advice cause I always fear I'll give the wrong advice but I'd try talking to them. It's always better getting your emotions out than bottling them in. If it makes you that upset, I think you should tell them how it makes you feel.

    Hope things get better for you. :hug:
     
  11. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I also do not understand how they can say that. I wish you could find another doctor to manage your medications. Because this one apparantly does not know about the medications that are you there. So many different ones. Would you be willing to try to call one of two places listed on sf? They both help people in the UK. One of them has advocates, from what I understand.

    1) Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

    2) MIND http://www.mind.org.uk/mind_cymru/landing/contact_us

    I have read reports on here that the Samaritans really have helped people. And I have read that MIND has advocates. Would you be willing to call them and explain that the Prozac is making you feel worse. But your therapist has said that this second try is the end of the final straw in terms of medications? Because I personally find that odd and offensive considering there are so many different choices of antidepressants
     
  12. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the links, I currently talk to Mental Health Matters purely because they report directly back to my CMHT.

    It's just irritating. I hate the constant headache more than anything
     
  13. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    as long as you have someone who is advocating for you and your needs. :hug: I am sorry getting good help, the right kind of help is such a constant headache. It is absurd. But please keep fighting for your rights. Because eventually if you keep fighting for your rights, you will find the right person who will help in the right way. And of course you have us :hug:
     
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