How do you know if you're having paranoia?

#1
This year I've been having a lot of psychotic and other symptoms of varying intensity depending on how good I am about notifying my doc and taking adjusted meds (being honest here). I manage to convince myself hey I'm fine; I was just making it up and then before I know it I'm in scrubs or having an otherwise bad time. I think I've got a better handle on things now but I'm told my insight isn't the best. I take my antipsychotic as I should now but I still find myself entrenched in this persecutory and semi-confused mindset that everything I do is being consciously monitored and judged by someone somewhere. I am afraid to do a lot of things as a result. Whenever I bring up my fears of being tracked or logged to my family they don't seem to take me very seriously. I'm not sure if this is paranoia because I think my fears aren't totally ungrounded but I guess it's others' reactions to my beliefs and how I remember not being concerned about this stuff much at all before (at least in a long time) that makes me wonder if I'm not in the clear just yet. I've been taking my anonymity quite seriously and despite my 'excessive' measures I still don't feel totally secure.

At the end of all this, I think I'm pretty okay as far as psychotic symptoms go but now I'm just doubting myself all the time and I can't trust my thoughts. Is this where I should solely trust other people? What if they just don't know what I know to be true? I have no evidence but it's not like it would be left for me to find anyway because I know where to look. I think. I wanted to switch to something other than risperidone but my doc said it was way too soon. I do t know anymore.

Thank you for reading if you did.
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#2
This year I've been having a lot of psychotic and other symptoms of varying intensity depending on how good I am about notifying my doc and taking adjusted meds (being honest here). I manage to convince myself hey I'm fine; I was just making it up and then before I know it I'm in scrubs or having an otherwise bad time. I think I've got a better handle on things now but I'm told my insight isn't the best. I take my antipsychotic as I should now but I still find myself entrenched in this persecutory and semi-confused mindset that everything I do is being consciously monitored and judged by someone somewhere. I am afraid to do a lot of things as a result. Whenever I bring up my fears of being tracked or logged to my family they don't seem to take me very seriously. I'm not sure if this is paranoia because I think my fears aren't totally ungrounded but I guess it's others' reactions to my beliefs and how I remember not being concerned about this stuff much at all before (at least in a long time) that makes me wonder if I'm not in the clear just yet. I've been taking my anonymity quite seriously and despite my 'excessive' measures I still don't feel totally secure.

At the end of all this, I think I'm pretty okay as far as psychotic symptoms go but now I'm just doubting myself all the time and I can't trust my thoughts. Is this where I should solely trust other people? What if they just don't know what I know to be true? I have no evidence but it's not like it would be left for me to find anyway because I know where to look. I think. I wanted to switch to something other than risperidone but my doc said it was way too soon. I do t know anymore.

Thank you for reading if you did.
It does sound like you are having paranoia. Perhaps you are right to want to try a different medication. This one may be giving you adverse reactions if you weren’t paranoid before.
 
#3
It does sound like you are having paranoia. Perhaps you are right to want to try a different medication. This one may be giving you adverse reactions if you weren’t paranoid before.
I should have specified. I was initially put on this medication a couple years ago for psychotic symptoms. I did well at 1mg and although I sometimes skipped it, I was able to put it all behind me. I had a manic episode earlier this year (thanks effexor) and those symptoms came out again and haven't ever completely gone away like the mania did. I might be depressed right now though which could also make sense. A lot of this stuff has been with me for a lot longer though looking back. I've been unpacking some baggage and really just everything seems to be hitting me all at once.
 
#5
Even if your fears are founded, it sounds like it’s causing you a lot more suffering than it’s worth
It's not a fun time. I can't trust conventional precautions even though probably no one is going to be after me. It feels true enough to me. I'm taking my meds more seriously though it's more for the awful, awful thoughts. I am pretty sure they just mute things like things I need to feel or think. Like they're not really me. I don't trust them all that much, to be frank but I know I feel less terrible with them.
 

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