How do you know you're in love?
- Thread starter JDot
- Start date
ok i've been married for 42 years and i feel as in love with my wife more now than when we first met. i would say knowing if you're in love is more of a feeling that you know when it happens.
it's when you care more for your partner than you do for yourself. willing to do anything to make each other happy. your plans are basically made as a team that works as one. you become one soul instead of 2.
just an example we have a certain amount of money we can spend on each other for christmas. our discussion every year is we both want to spend more than receive. we care more about the other persons happiness at christmas. basically you would do anything to help your partner. it's hard to explain but trust me you'll know.
mike...
it's when you care more for your partner than you do for yourself. willing to do anything to make each other happy. your plans are basically made as a team that works as one. you become one soul instead of 2.
just an example we have a certain amount of money we can spend on each other for christmas. our discussion every year is we both want to spend more than receive. we care more about the other persons happiness at christmas. basically you would do anything to help your partner. it's hard to explain but trust me you'll know.
mike...
Jesus, Mike you've almost been married for as long as I've been alive (43 yrs.!) 
: ) holy free~holy! ;D @1964dodge . . .
: ) holy free~holy! ;D @1964dodge . . .
Jesus, Mike you've almost been married for as long as I've been alive (43 yrs.!) : ) holy free~holy! ;D @1964dodge . . .
: ) holy free~holy! ;D @1964dodge . . .
mike...
i'm really hoping to make it to our 50th anniversary that's one of the reasons i'm fighting to live . imagine a half century with the same woman and never cheating. i could have many times but never did. same old woman for 42 years, 507 months or 26,208 weeks or 183, 456 days, or 4,402,944 hours. that's a long time with the same woman lol.
mike...
mike...
both sets of my Grandparents made it to that...& i'm goin g to have to stop & do the math on my own -- they're way up there though 'cause they got married so lyoung (19/20) & i was adopted; they're 70. ish~ ? (; holy christ i'm going to have to figufe this out b/c if it's this spring then i've got to get my shit to-gehther..........
My short answer is 'you just know'. If you wonder whether you're in love or not...you're not.
Even if you don't understand what you feel, but you know the power and the intensity is nothing you've ever experienced, you know it's unique. It's like you were high, like an addiction. Cosmic connection. Emotional rollercoaster. You have no control. Earthquake. Insanity.
If you're about to loose this person the entire world is starting to collapse under your feet, without them life has no meaning. In a world without them you're lost.
rolling my eyes at myself now...that's so corny
Even if you don't understand what you feel, but you know the power and the intensity is nothing you've ever experienced, you know it's unique. It's like you were high, like an addiction. Cosmic connection. Emotional rollercoaster. You have no control. Earthquake. Insanity.
If you're about to loose this person the entire world is starting to collapse under your feet, without them life has no meaning. In a world without them you're lost.
rolling my eyes at myself now...that's so corny
Funny question in a way for me, because I love two people, and the feelings are so different.
I used to think the monogamous thing was the way to go. You find someone who you can be yourself around and trust and want to be close to. I found that. I've been in that relationship for almost 20 years. He's so very handsome, and attentive and funny and smart and caring.
Then, I met someone else who fed a different need, and I love him too. He's gone now, but for the time he was here, he made me feel worthy of love. Like, his desire for me made me feel beautiful in a way nobody else has ever made me feel. He was charming, and probably the most handsome man I'd ever seen. He was really sexy. He's brilliant but in a dark way and he was the keeper of my secrets.
I love them both, and would likely die for them. With one gone, I'm half a person. So, to answer your question, love is a couple of things. It's being with someone who makes every place feel like home and you are safe. And hopefully you do that for them too. But I know I love the other person too, because even though every day I wake up in tears, he needed me to let him go and I did. I loved him enough to give him what he wanted, which was to be on his own. He's happier without me. It's so very painful, but I did it. And I think that has great meaning.
I used to think the monogamous thing was the way to go. You find someone who you can be yourself around and trust and want to be close to. I found that. I've been in that relationship for almost 20 years. He's so very handsome, and attentive and funny and smart and caring.
Then, I met someone else who fed a different need, and I love him too. He's gone now, but for the time he was here, he made me feel worthy of love. Like, his desire for me made me feel beautiful in a way nobody else has ever made me feel. He was charming, and probably the most handsome man I'd ever seen. He was really sexy. He's brilliant but in a dark way and he was the keeper of my secrets.
I love them both, and would likely die for them. With one gone, I'm half a person. So, to answer your question, love is a couple of things. It's being with someone who makes every place feel like home and you are safe. And hopefully you do that for them too. But I know I love the other person too, because even though every day I wake up in tears, he needed me to let him go and I did. I loved him enough to give him what he wanted, which was to be on his own. He's happier without me. It's so very painful, but I did it. And I think that has great meaning.
I hope your husband shares your enthusiasm about poliamory. You wouldn't be hurt if he had another, that's great!
As to the question at hand, I do not believe in love, think many people ended up unhappy because of their ideas of what love is and this word has no meaning for me.
My goal in life is to marry someone "heartless" with practical goals in mind.
As to the question at hand, I do not believe in love, think many people ended up unhappy because of their ideas of what love is and this word has no meaning for me.
My goal in life is to marry someone "heartless" with practical goals in mind.