To me, depression feels like a wave, crashing down into the depths of my being. It leaves me overcome with sorrow, unable to think, to breathe, to speak. And for no reason. No event triggers this overwhelming sadness, no remark sparks off my pain. It feels like I cannot help but let it take me far away to somewhere where I am drowning in its depths, longing for someone, something to bring me back but not knowing how to ask. Not knowing how to express myself, how to say the words that I just cannot cope. It feels like a deep, dark blue filling me up and threatening to overflow, to break the dam I had been so carefully keeping shut. But it feels like breaking that dam couldn't help, as though there is no help for this, only more sorrow, more sadness, and more loneliness. And it feels like I don't know how to take it, how to handle it, how to cope with it.
And then I realised, as alone as I feel, I am not alone. There are other people who are struggling with this too. Other people who are trapped by a feeling that can be so hard to express or to describe.
And so I'm asking you to describe the way your depression feels to you, however complicated or simple that is. I'm asking this so that not only me, but all of us, can see how it is we are all feeling; no matter how different we are, or how alone we feel. I'm asking for your own words, your own emotions or your own thoughts...
With love,
chickadee x
And then I realised, as alone as I feel, I am not alone. There are other people who are struggling with this too. Other people who are trapped by a feeling that can be so hard to express or to describe.
And so I'm asking you to describe the way your depression feels to you, however complicated or simple that is. I'm asking this so that not only me, but all of us, can see how it is we are all feeling; no matter how different we are, or how alone we feel. I'm asking for your own words, your own emotions or your own thoughts...
With love,
chickadee x