how it all started 4 me?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by skinnylove911, May 9, 2013.

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  1. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    For me it was various things that happened, I mean i didn't wake up one to day and decide to starve my self it firstly started off as simple tummy bug that never really went away it lasted for months and months and i lost so much weight so quickly it made me feel ill and then I thought i dont want to gain weight and lunch time during work I skipped my first meal and it felt really good, so i did it a few times a week and soon i got hooked to the feeling hunger and the next thing I knew it became an obsession i found myself buying diet pills, caffeine pills anything to keep my weight down and exercising lots to feel better about myself. Then in 2010-11 my parents took me to dr and after trying for months for them to take me seriously they had no idea i was heavily resticting, i then saw every specialist known to man to find out what was wrong with my tummy. Then disaster struck my manager Peng found out my secret whilst i was at a conference, she had been secretly writing down my excuses and things started to add up in her head and her being a nurse I had no choice but to tell her and she wasn't at all pleased. She confronted me a lot about it and then after the conference she took me straight to hospital and basically explained that if I carried on not eating (below 200 calories a day) i would end up in pysch hospital/ed clinic and she would do whatever she needed to do keep me there. Even if it meant sectioning me. I also realised I couldnt go on like this when my other boss Jason questioned me about and him being an ex social worker knew all of my habits/ lies and basically knew from day one what I was doing. So I had to change, i had to stop the emotional feeling I had inside that me restict my eating and get better so I did. I began getting better from eating, i gained a lot of weight over the course of a few months which i wasn't happy about. it made me so angry and then in 2011 I was attacked by a service user and this made me feel more worse about self and this caused months of binging where i was eating constantly and plus being anti-depressant meds I gained a lot more weight and I felt really ill. Then my best matr Kat called me fat and pregnant after I had lost 15 pounds in weight and that just made me more determined to losethe weight. Obvously my parents never knew the truth about restricting, purging occasionally and obsessive exercise and this is where I am now.
  2. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad you shared. I've been wanting to ask you about it for a while.

    I don't understand under-eating or not eating at all, but I would never judge someone for it. We know that starving is not a good way to lose weight because it damages your body and - as you've experienced - has very negative effects on your life. People who suffer from this need support, not nasty or teasing words. I believe that a healthy diet combined with exercise is key to any weight loss and a person needs to be encouraged to take that road instead.

    You've already experienced coming to the realisation that you can't go on that way, so please don't go back there because of a friends bad words. I may not know you in real life, but I've read about your determination. I know you can do it the healthy way :)

    Thank you for sharing!
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Really I just dont want eat anymore I'll eat if I have to but i had the choice I wouldn't eat.
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow I am so sorry you were attacked at the hospital..but you told right?

    It's sad because people don't know the power of their words...they are mean and jealous and hurt the people they are close too. Please don't listen to them....I'm glad you had people who cared and helped you out
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    same here...I don't like eating at all...I don't know why I don't like it, maybe because I'm picky...
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Thanks for talking about your situation. I used to be a starver. I loved it. You were very fortunate that people took charge and did what was needed to give you the real chance to live. But I also give you the credit. Some never do recover. The disease takes them over and wins.

    People can be so clueless when they make comments as your "matr Kat " said. I too have had people say things over the years. Mostly family members. Now they are thrilled. Because I am under weight. Thinking of people this way is sick..... and dangerous. It can throw people back into the throws of an ed.
  7. Alden

    Alden Member

    You should add these thing for the healthier breakfast
    Whole grain like comes, bagels, cereal products, low fat wheat bran cupcakes, biscuits, or Melba toasted bread...
  8. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    thanks for sharing your experience.

    with me... it was a total switch from 1 extreme to another.

    used to starv myself and think nothing of it at all- but well... i ended up in hospital because of lack of food, my body was shutting down pretty quick...... i mjanaged to get out, and now i'm an over eater- it way too much junk food, and not enough healthy stuff
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