How long???

[na-taya]

How long does this last???
Forever???
Some days are easier than others and I can take it in my stride and then days like today where ever I look whatever I see or hear all I think about is you I miss you so much I just want you to know how much I love you.

How long is it acceptable for me to have the breathe nocked out of me?? Do the paralysing days get less or more???

I just have no idea I was the only one by his bedside as he took his very last breathe ever. My nan was in her room with her daughter

I miss him and love him so much it was meant to be a 10 day trip I wasn't meant to stay and care for him in his last moments but I would do it again for him anytime.

I just miss him

 

[nobodyknows71]

Hey @na-taya
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I know that feeling of being so sad you can't breathe.
Do the days get better... right now, I'm with you. I don't know, it doesn't feel like it. But I guess in time we'll learn to cope better and be able to breathe easier.
I can see in your words that you cared very much for this person, and he was blessed to have someone in his life that cared for him as much as you did.

Thinking of you

 

[na-taya]

@nobodyknows71 thank you.
It was my poppy
I did care for him a lot I eisj I lived closer to him for lot more of my life I know that dosnt mean he loves me any less or me him. Just sad I didn't get to spend more time with jime.
Its been an emotional hard day

 

[nobodyknows71]

(((hugs)))

 

[SillyOldBear]

@na-taya it does get better. But it is harder. And the closer you were to the person, the harder it is. There will be days when it does seem to knock you flat. But those days will come less and less often. You will never stop mourning completely. I don't think you would really want to stop missing him. But you will start remembering the good times over the bad. As to a time frame, there really is none. It is different for everyone. Just stay with us.

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Its really hard but a blessing that you were there to stand guard when he crossed over. I do see it as a rare privilege. I have to remind myself of a poem by Elizabeth Frye there's different versions but still as beautiful. Sorry for your loss

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

 

[nobodyknows71]

Its really hard but a blessing that you were there to stand guard when he crossed over. I do see it as a rare privilege. I have to remind myself of a poem by Elizabeth Frye there's different versions but still as beautiful. Sorry for your loss

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

I love this poem.Thanks @DrownedFishOnFire
((hugs)) @na-taya

 

[na-taya]

@SillyOldBear thank you *
I do not ever want to not forget him and I won't be able to I aksed him to handwrite be a message and I got it tattooed on me with a picture of the hat hr always wore. I more or less know it will get 'easier' I think I'll just be more able to pick the signs up and be able to divert the energy maybe. But I also know I need to let my self feel this way for awhile as well. Its hard being throw into spin palative care at home when you havnt even been anything close to a nurse. As I said I'd do it for had m again and again and again over him and my nan are the only people in my early childhood who showed me they loved be with no conditions. My nan died when I was 7 and my mum wouldn't let us see her. I was 7 not my choice to make just like so many other when I was young.

@DrownedFishOnFire thank you so much for that poem it is beautiful. I believe in messages that afterlife send and when I got back the girl I babysit we went to the park for the firsy time since me being bacl home and hanging in the tree was the style of hat he always wore. I take her to the park all the time it had never been at the park before. I believe that's just one of the many ways he had thanked me and said hello and a other few messages

Just yesterday was a really really tough day.

Thank you all for very much for you responses and hug xxx

 

[Dynamaniac]

Na-taya, I'm so very sorry for your loss. The cycle of life can be hard to cope with at times. As someone who has lost both of many relatives, including my grandparents, my father, and most recently, my little brother, I can say that the loss is always there, but the pain does diminish over time. No two people grieve the same way and no two losses cause the same kind of grief. It is normal to be sad and some days will be better than others. Here's another poem that I hope will be comforting, it was one that my grandmother gave us when my father passed away. It really helped me, I hope it helps you.

I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free;
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call;
I turned my back and left it all.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy--
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss;
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow;
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I've savored much;
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts, and peace to thee--
God wanted me now, He set me free.