I have been in recovery for about 4 years, Not sure what came over me but purged and now all I can do it think about calories and food and purging. Don't want to go down that road again, but am really scaried of asking for help. Don't want the food gaurds and the lectures. Really don't know how my fiance will take it. I purged once and now food totally controls my life. How do I get help before it gets worse?