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How to increse my self esteem

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by PeterFromUK, Jan 31, 2014.

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  1. PeterFromUK

    PeterFromUK Member

    Hello everyone, My name is Peter, I'm Polish. I live in UK. Sorry my English is not perfect. I'm suffering from depression from 20 years now. I take antidepressant Sertraline for 2-3 months. Previously I took Citalopram for 2-3 years. My self esteem is very low. I feel worthless. I dont know how to increase my self esteem. I do a job under my qualification. (I have master's degree in sociology) I also finished bookkeeping level 2 in UK. I also have International Computer Driving License level 2. I used to apply for better jobs bout it didn't work out. In fact, recently I lost a hope of recovering from depression. I have 20-30 suicidal thoughts per day. Each of them last only 1 second but it's very stressing for me.
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    citalopram is so crap.
    omg, don't lose hope, you have so much potential and things to offer
    do these things as hobbies also, keep improving skills
  3. PeterFromUK

    PeterFromUK Member

    Hello scaryforest
    Im working as a cleaner 6 years. Do you think there is a chance to find a better job????
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    yes, there is with those qualifications.

    have you suffered racism where you live by any chance?
    i have up north, it hindered a lot
  5. PeterFromUK

    PeterFromUK Member

    Yes, i have . Once. One of the cleaner said to me: ''We dont want you to live in England''. They were bullying me. They always asked: ''Why are you tired?'', ''When you back home?'' She called ma: bloody foreigner. She was hiding happiness when I said Im going to change the job. After 3 years I change this workplace and now Im working somewhere else as a cleaner and I have no problem with staff.
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    good to know, this new place has none of that in it.
    but yeah, you have qualifications for better things.

    you say low self esteem but remember you earned these diplomas and everything and that it's all you, don't underestimate self.

    i have dual nationality but yeah, once got screwed, never again, always look out for people who judge and then not go there, only slows you down- also advice
  7. normaljoe

    normaljoe Well-Known Member

    my counselor actually told me "fake it till you make it" as a way to increase your self increase.
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Dear PetefromUK,

    It's tough each day doing a job that's is you are more qualified to do. I being there and trying to find someone who will give a break is hard. My friend it will come but it takes time. In the current economic downturn it's hard but do not despair. Just keep trying and you will succeed. I see racism everyday but you have to rise above it. It's hard but if you don't respond then they will stop. I know it's easy to say but eventually they will get the message. Take care Pete.
  9. fam6236

    fam6236 Member

    Its working a a job that is below you that causes low self esteem. If you have so much experience and training why not do yourself better???
  10. PeterFromUK

    PeterFromUK Member

    I have only good training. I have no experience expect working as a cleaner.
  11. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It takes time but I understand you dilemma.
  12. Hope1212

    Hope1212 Member

    Hi Peter. I have a similar problem to you. I am certified as a teacher, but have been working as an assistant for the past 5 years. I don't have the self-esteem and don't feel that I am capable of being effective, although I have some experience. It can be very depressing. Perhaps try to take classes or do internships in your field of choice. That way you can gain more experience, which may boost your self-confidence and will be beneficial to your resume. Also, try volunteering at places that are also within your field. I know this can be very difficult. Easier said than done. Hope this helps. Good luck.
  13. anon12

    anon12 New Member


    I have been suffering with depression for thirty years. I can offer no easy solutions or promises that it will all simply get better. What I can offer is some practical advice.

    1) Know Yourself
    For people who suffer from depression this is the central line. You have begun to catalog the suicidal ideation. I think this a really good step. Twenty or thirty times a day. You see that it is a mental loop or obsession that stays with you. What would it be like to be even a little more free from this emotional state? A feature of our condition is that it distorts what we think we are. A distorted mirror from a circus. The small is big. The big is small.

    Consider that you have objective evidence of your accomplishments. Degrees and certifications are not handed out willy nilly. They represent focus, dedication and ability. Where did this all go when you passed judgement on yourself? Stay here. Be a little more objective about seeing your self and condition.

    2) Remember
    Can you remember a time that you felt completely confident in your work? What are some of the behaviors that are associated with that? Was the body relaxed? Was the mind simply focused on the work to be done? Working with what is right in front of you is a step towards moving on and returning to that self. It can reduce the obsessive thinking.

    3) Become a Scientist
    Record the number of times you have suidicidal impulses today in a journal. When it happens, execute your plan. Sit and watch the feeling spread over you. Bring light to it. Allow the attention to simply see your pain. You are not the pain. The pain is within you. You do have the ability to watch it. Note the time of day and duration of the episode.

    Respect these events. Make time for them. Do not run from them. You may find that by turning to see these thoughts and feelings churning within you, a certain amount of their momentum becomes dislodged. They gain strength from our attempts to bury them. Relax the body and witness the burn. Give yourself a chance to let go of the pain when you feel ready.

    My thoughts are with you.

  14. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    Peter, trust me when I say I know how hard it is. I am work at a job that I am over qualified for and it just kills my spirit. I work with people who are on drugs, been in prison, troublemakers, etc and it just makes me feel I am just as same as they are. With me I always here the "clock" ticking, that life is slowly passing me by before I ever find any type of hope and happiness.

    Have you thought about maybe moving to try to find work somewhere else? I have, but problem is when you do that you are competing with even more people for the good jobs.
  15. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Dear Peter, I am so sorry to hear of your experiences that have been so hurtful for you, and agree with scary that you have tons of potential within you - the first thing to do is to find healing for an inaccurate self-image, because you really are a precious member of the human race - which unfortunately is flawed through and through with obstacles (such as racism) that can cause us to hurt. Well done for finding SF and for writing in - it is a wonderful, caring place to be where we all try to help each other as well as we are able. It certainly helps to offload our thinking into cyberspace knowing that it will not be judged or looked down upon. We can relax. We can look forward to things improving, as we are all hard-wired to do. We help each other to entertain healing and positive thoughts, and there are definitely things we can do to help ourselves in this, such as keeping a journal etc. PM me if you'd like .... blessings to you, urP
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