Hello everyone, My name is Peter, I'm Polish. I live in UK. Sorry my English is not perfect. I'm suffering from depression from 20 years now. I take antidepressant Sertraline for 2-3 months. Previously I took Citalopram for 2-3 years. My self esteem is very low. I feel worthless. I dont know how to increase my self esteem. I do a job under my qualification. (I have master's degree in sociology) I also finished bookkeeping level 2 in UK. I also have International Computer Driving License level 2. I used to apply for better jobs bout it didn't work out. In fact, recently I lost a hope of recovering from depression. I have 20-30 suicidal thoughts per day. Each of them last only 1 second but it's very stressing for me.