I screwed up my months of being 'good' last night. I was trying to sleep and I was so overcome with depression, stress and just sadness that I SH last night. It all happened so fast and it always seems to feel like a huge title wave is knocking me down when I get real lows. It didn't help. Infact, it made me far more unstable. After I was good enought to walk down the stairs I totally broke in my mothers room. She wasn't mad and after a while I went back up and fell asleep this morning. I get such terrible lows and they come about SO fast. I also seem to have pretty decent Highs, where i'm hyper and abicious but they never last and when its over I have to hit rock bottom before going back to 'normal' or 'managable' as far as emotions and my depression goes. I just don't know how to even myself out and this is really wearing me down.